What is a petty person. Who is the petty man

Perhaps the worst characteristic of a person is pettiness. Who among us does not like to deal with people who are characterized by generosity of soul, grand gestures and beautiful deeds? From a petty person, you are unlikely to wait for them.

In our view, a petty person is a stingy person who is stingy not only with gifts, but also with feelings. Also called petty is a person who constantly finds fault with others. But let's figure out what is actually invested in the concept of "pettiness".

What does petty person mean?

Pettiness is the tendency of a person to attach great importance to the insignificant, to pay increased attention to trifles, as a result of which the essential remains unnoticed.

A petty person is one who does not notice important things, giving a lot of attention to details. His life is filled with vanity, petty chores, anxiety over trifles.

Details so fill the mind of a petty person that the true state of things does not add up in his head. Excessive pickiness prevents such a person from rising above the hustle and bustle, feeling the taste of life and achieving success in it.

Pettiness, like any extreme, can lead to various life problems. A petty person can carefully keep order in the house, not noticing the psychological problems of his family members. For him, a correctly done homework of a child is an order of magnitude higher than children's conflicts with classmates. Everyday little things take away time from a picky person and deprive him of psychological sensitivity.

Petty people are overly sensitive, often touchy and vindictive. All this may arise due to the fact that someone turned away from them in difficult times, showed inattention, insulted with a cruel joke, or left them without praise at the right time. But in fact, the reason for the appearance of pettiness in the character must be looked for much deeper ...

Why does a person become petty?

According to psychologists, there are two reasons why a person can become petty and picky:

• the presence of a bad character, which originates in early childhood;
• circumstances of life that turned a normal person into a picky tyrant.

Consider the first path to pettiness. As you know, it is in childhood (up to five years) that the foundation of personality is laid. Due to improper upbringing, a child in adulthood can blame his parents for all his failures, finding fault with them over trifles. As for the second path, everyone can fall into the risk group of becoming a petty person. This is due to the fact that life circumstances can spoil the character of any of us. How often one can observe the transformation of a cheerful, sunny person into a gloomy, harmful object that is constantly dissatisfied with something.

It should be noted that it is impossible to say with exact certainty what became the true reason for the appearance of pettiness in character: either the child had a predisposition to pickiness, or life made such a person.

Small people: how to recognize them?

Which of us girls does not dream of a prince on a white horse?

What is our disappointment when, instead of a noble prince, there is a picky man nearby! If at the beginning of an acquaintance your chosen one chooses a cheaper bouquet at a flower kiosk, and shudders at a restaurant when ordering a full meal instead of a cup of coffee, most likely you are faced with a petty man.

Endure it all your life or end the relationship, you decide. But before you make your choice, we offer you to get acquainted with the obvious signs of a petty man.

Here are some of them:

1. Your chosen one does not visit paid clinics, considering it a waste of money (at the same time, he can be a wealthy person);
2. He gets annoyed when you ask him for money for some women's things (cosmetics, handbags, jewelry, etc.);
3. Touchy and vindictive;
4. Gives preference to public transport;
5. Demanding towards you;
6. Likes to lecture on the topic "How to Live";
7. Constantly reminds you of the return of the money that he lent you (usually a small amount);
8. Doesn't make grand gestures (filling the bathtub with champagne or strewn your bed with flowers is not for him).

It is worth noting that the pettiness of a man lies not only in counting every penny and unwillingness to do romantic deeds. Due to the increased attention to trifles, a petty person does not notice the important and serious. A carefully ironed shirt is much more important to him than the reason for your bad mood.

In addition, a picky person is very irritable and quick-tempered. It is easy for others to piss him off. Petty men, at any opportunity, will remind friends and loved ones that they live completely wrong.

Often such tediousness leads to an unwillingness to communicate with a person who is too economical, both materially and emotionally.

If we talk about women, then pettiness in them, oddly enough, occurs as often as in men. Of course, the representatives of the stronger sex are not delighted with this unpleasant character trait. Petty ladies are prone to greed and selfishness, they will not miss the opportunity to stir up a scandal over a trifle.

But men also look for such qualities as the beauty of the soul, patience and understanding in their chosen ones.

How to overcome pettiness in character

Do not underestimate such a personality trait as pettiness. It can lead to a break in relations, cause misunderstanding and mutual resentment between people.

To prevent this from happening, it is important to help a petty person get rid of internal bile in time in the following ways:

• Straight Talk;
• Attentive attitude.

Sincere communication between people is available to everyone. If people could talk openly with each other, then many problems could be avoided. If one of the family members shows pettiness, it is worth pointing out this to him and trying to find a solution to the problem together. If we are talking about a serious internal conflict of the individual, in addition to family support, you will need the help of a psychologist.

And remember: the effectiveness of ways to eliminate pettiness in character will directly depend on what the petty person chooses for himself: groundless dissatisfaction with the world around him or love for life.

Not always in our environment there are only kind and decent people. As a rule, fate teaches many lessons in the form of a meeting with envious and mercantile personalities. A petty person is exactly the one who pays attention to completely unnecessary things, ignoring the most important thing. In most cases, pettiness manifests itself in many from different angles.

Let's talk about this in more detail and find out how to turn communication with such people into a pleasant pastime.

First side

A petty person is an individual who pays attention to all trifling things. He cannot determine the essence of a particular problem and gets hung up on absolutely unnecessary things. Thus, such a person brings harm to himself much more than to others. He is so busy with various details that he never gets to the main problem.

It is very unpleasant when the boss acts as such a picky person. He makes you redo the work again and again, finding fault and looking for minor flaws. In family relationships, a petty person is also a real disaster. It is unlikely that the second half will like to constantly hear about their minor shortcomings.

What does linguistics say about this?

According to the explanatory dictionaries of Ushakov, Dahl and Ozhegov, a petty person is an individual who pays too much attention to trifles (little things). It can be said that they always exaggerate the significance of all things and problems. Quarrels, squabbles and provocations are one of the favorite activities that a petty person is passionate about. Synonyms for this expression can be chosen as follows: penny, pedantic, slanderous.

Money loves an account - the motto of petty people

Of course, it cannot be denied that saving and proper management of financial resources is very important in our time. However, it was not for nothing that the ancient Greeks said that the measure, one way or another, should be in everything.

It is about this that a penny person never thinks about it. He counts everything and always. Many of them even keep track of what, when and to whom they gave. You should not borrow money from such a person, because he will remember everything, and then every time he will look at you with contempt.

What are the traits of petty people

It is impossible to deny the fact that each character trait cannot manifest itself in two people in exactly the same way, but nevertheless, a petty person is a characteristic that includes certain behaviors in society. Such people are prone to quarrels and scandals. They look for flaws in everyone and find them with success. And it’s good if such a person is secretive by nature, and you will never know what his opinion about you really is. The other side of the coin, which occurs most often, is the meanness of such people.

They express their petty opinion about you not to you personally, but to someone else: neighbors, relatives, acquaintances. In other words, such people are very fond of gossiping about other people's insignificant shortcomings. Among other carriers of this character trait, you can also meet those who say everything personally to your face. Of course, it’s not particularly pleasant when they constantly look for flaws in you and tell you about them to your face. For this reason, it can be said that a picky petty person, as a rule, is not very tactful and polite.

The opposite of pettiness

What is the antonym for this word? Undoubtedly - this is "absent-mindedness". This trait is characterized by complete indifference to various trifles. Pettiness, like distraction, is a negative character trait that needs to be changed in oneself.

You need to look for a middle ground where a person will not miss important things, but at the same time will not pay too much attention to trifles. For others, communication with this type of people is quite difficult, which often causes conflicts both in the family and at work.

An interesting comparison in his writings leads Pierre Buast. He is the most petty person, and how it looks from the outside. P. Buast said that such people are like snails - they crawl along the road, stop, bumping into obstacles, inspect them, but do not move any further.

In fact, if you do not waste time on trifles and concentrate on a common problem, you can do much more. Without focusing on trifles, you can live life to the fullest and not waste time on things that no one needs. It is precisely because petty people do not find time to be happy that they very often grumble and grumble over trifles. Most likely, they never thought that the time they spend on finding flaws can be used more rationally and for their own benefit.

In order for petty people not to annoy you, you need to learn one tricky trick: do not pay attention to them and get hung up on the problems that worry them. Of course, sometimes, in order to avoid conflict, a minor flaw that the pedant noticed is easier to eliminate. However, you should not do this all the time, because you risk becoming the same picky and petty person.

Pettiness is perhaps the worst characteristic that women can give to some men. Indeed, in the representatives of the stronger sex, completely different qualities are attracted - the generosity of the soul, grand gestures and beautiful deeds. You can hardly expect them from a petty person. In addition, such a man is usually stingy not only with gifts, but also with manifestations of feelings.

However, pettiness is often characteristic of women to no lesser extent. And this quality is also not very popular with men, because such ladies find fault with trifles, are distinguished by greed and selfishness. But the representatives of the stronger sex are also looking for something completely different in women - understanding, patience, the beauty of the soul. Do not underestimate pettiness: it can worsen and even destroy relationships, cause mutual resentment and misunderstanding between people.

Character traits of a petty person

You can be petty not only in everyday life, but also in relationships with loved ones, close people. This is when gifts, signs of attention, manifestations of sympathy, tenderness, etc. are subject to control, strict accounting, mentally entered into the register and issued in a strict dosage and on schedule. Roses - only on March 8, mopping - on Sunday, sex on Thursdays, meatballs on Fridays, etc.

Also, pettiness is manifested in envy. To prove his worth, such a person looks for minor flaws in another and inflates them to enormous proportions. Envy can also develop into vindictiveness.

A person who is distinguished by pettiness is often touchy and vindictive. He accumulates bad memories of failure to help, inattention, criticism, cruel joke, lack of recognition of merit, etc.

Pettiness is the opposite side of such a quality as absent-mindedness. Both of these extremes can lead to various everyday problems. For example, a petty person can very carefully control the order in his house, completely oblivious to the subtle psychological problems of other family members. Homework done by a child is more important for him than having serious complexes. However, this does not mean that such a person is evil by nature. He's just too short-sighted.

Various little things steal psychological sensitivity and time from a petty person. He notices an extra mote and counts every penny, but does not see sadness in the eyes of loved ones. He tries to control and rationalize everything, dismissing spontaneous decisions, the strongest impulses of the soul, inspiration, everything sublime and beautiful, as a whim devoid of utility.

Therefore, it is especially useful for petty people to relax, as well as to do something unusual. Dream more, look your loved ones in the eyes more often, listen to your feelings, soul. And then pettiness can transform into caring and frugality - positive qualities that can strengthen any family.

Pettiness is manifested in resentment. In the accumulation of offensive words, bad memories of inattention, failure to provide assistance, criticism, non-recognition of merit, a cruel joke, etc. how many problems can be avoided if we get rid of the habit of being offended.

When they fight for a penny "out of principle", the price of this principle is a penny. Alexander Kruglov. Aphorisms, thoughts, essays

There are people who think that if they are perfect in every detail, then the overall portrait as a whole will also be perfect. It is, of course, so. If it does not acquire hypertrophied features. Does not grow from a fly to an elephant. And it does not turn a person into a petty, vengeful, greedy egoist, concerned only with his own righteousness. Such people with triple perseverance exaggerate every detail in any area of ​​\u200b\u200blife. They are meticulous and pedantic, scrupulous and boring, they attach importance to such trifles that can and should be ignored. You must have met such people. Yes, and you yourself can sometimes turn into a petty person, especially when it comes to some extremely important things for you.

The manifestation of pettiness is greed. So a petty passenger, in order not to pay the fare, can hand a large bill to the driver of the minibus. And the petty driver give him change in pennies. A petty pizza delivery man will add to the cost of his way to the fifth floor on foot if the house does not have an elevator. A petty employer will impose a fine on an employee who is three minutes late. A petty seller always does not give the buyer little change. There are many such examples. We encounter them at every turn. And we understand that manifestations of pettiness do not arouse sympathy in us. And often provokes a response surge of anger. This happened, for example, with Apple, which received an original lesson for petty claims from Samsung. A California federal court upheld some of Apple's claims against Samsung and ordered them to pay the latter $1.05 billion. Samsung complied with the court order. Right down to the last cent. More than thirty trucks filled to the brim with nickels delivered compensation to the headquarters of Apple, exposing it to the ridicule of the whole world.

Yes, we would prefer to buy a product, for the delivery of which we do not have to pay extra. The one that costs not 99.99, but 90.00 rubles. More than once we will come to a cafe or restaurant where tips are not extorted, but there are good-quality tablecloths, napkins, cutlery, expensive toilet paper, etc. And we will put twice as much there, just because the owner and staff do not exchange for trifles. The miser pays twice, as you know. And it's not just about money.

You can be stingy, that is, petty in love. When signs of attention, gifts, manifestations of mutual sympathy, tenderness, participation, etc. are subject to strict accounting, control, are entered into a mental register and are issued strictly on schedule. Flowers - only on March 8, mopping - once a year, sex on Thursdays, cutlets on Fridays, and on Saturday, because the cutlets are burnt and the head hurts, a walk or a kiss at night is canceled.

Pettiness is manifested in envy. When, in order to prove their own importance, they look for the most insignificant flaws in a person who is envied and inflate them like a balloon. Vindictiveness grows out of envy, slander, gossip, and intrigue occur, which often dress up as a completely positive struggle for justice and parity.

Pettiness is manifested in resentment. In the accumulation of offensive words, bad memories of inattention, failure to provide assistance, criticism, non-recognition of merit, a cruel joke, etc. how many problems can be avoided if we get rid of the habit of being offended. Remember: “People of small minds are sensitive to small grievances; people of great intelligence notice everything and are not offended by anything. Written by Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Of course, life consists of trifles, but if it is only trifles, then it becomes a dirty stream in which selfishness, greed, envy seethe and there is no place for generosity, generosity and compliance.

There is beautiful parable about two, at first glance, light and transparent streams, in one of which there was a muddy muddy bottom, and in the other, pebbles lay at the bottom. A man approached the streams. Both of them beckoned him to drink pure water. The man took a stick and began to muddy the waters. Grains of sand, leaves and debris rose from the bottom of the muddy stream. The water has become dirty.

A man played with a stick in a stream with stones, and the water, as it was transparent, remained. He drank from the second stream and, full of strength, went on, remembering with a kind word the fresh water of a clear stream.

In the same way, a person outwardly seems kind and sympathetic, like a clear stream. But try to at least inadvertently offend such a person and you will see how self-conceit, pettiness and pride and old grievances will emerge from the bottom of the soul, like mud and garbage in a forest stream. And the other person keeps only the main thing in his soul, not getting hung up on trifles and dirt. And his soul remains pure.

If we remember the little things, then only the good ones!

I really liked this poem Anastasia Zagodina found on the internet:

What are we spending our lives on? For petty quarrels
To stupid words, empty talk,
To the vanity of insults, to anger again and again.
What are we doing with our lives...
And it would be necessary to love.

We burn life to the ground, everything into an empty something -
For boring things, unnecessary worries ...
For the sake of society, we invent masks ...
What are we spending our lives on?
And it should be petting.

We spray life into gloomy boredom,
On "image" and "prestige", unnecessary science,
For lies and boasting, for gratuitous service.
What are we spending our lives on?
And it would be necessary to friendship.

We're in a hurry to get somewhere, we're getting something.
We are looking for something, but we lose more;
We are hoarding gold, rags and silver...
What are we spending our lives on?
And it would be necessary to good.

We worry, we shout, we suffer over trifles;
We choose funny little things with seriousness.
But no matter how much you guess, you will choose the wrong one.
What are we doing with our lives...
And it would be necessary to dream.

Vlasenko Irina

There are people in the world who are hard to please. Moreover, their discontent is a constant personality trait, and they always cling to spouses, colleagues, neighbors. And one of the latter exclaims in their hearts: “Uuuu! petty person!" This is the one who pesters others. But is the problem of human obsession so simple?

What exactly is "petty"? The definition of this concept is difficult to give straight away, because everyone understands something of their own by “petty”. A case that seems like a small thing to an outside observer is not so at all for those who are on the front lines.

The wife does not brush crumbs off the table. A trifle? No, when viewed from her husband's point of view. For spouses, on the basis of a dirty table, they even flare up. It's up to the psychologist. And it turned out that the husband is a visual. People of this type trust primarily their eyes. Example: a person is read aloud, and he cannot really understand the meaning of what he heard, he needs to see the text - he is visual. My wife is kinesthetic. She communicates with the world mainly through feelings, experiences, bodily sensations. And it turns out: these crumbs on the table “scratched” the eyes of the husband, but for the wife it was a trifle. The psychologist, quickly understanding what was the matter, said to the girl: “Now imagine that these crumbs are not on the kitchen table, but in your nightgown.” Problem solved.

Such a long prelude is needed in order to show: "pettiness" is not always equal to "harmfulness", sometimes it is hidden behind offensive obsession. A petty person is one who constantly finds fault with others. And people who suffer the attacks of the "harm" believe: there is no reason to worry.

About petty people, or how they become unbearable

Way two:

Bad temper from early childhood. Long gone are the days when children were considered heavenly angels, after Z. Freud it is already difficult to think so. And the matter is not only in, which wakes up early, but is not realized by the child until adolescence in its true quality. In the context of the topic, something else is important: in childhood, the foundation of personality is laid (up to 5 years). And sometimes it happens that by this age a person has already been spoiled by parents or the environment (nurses, grandmothers, grandfathers). The child in the future will grow up into a person who blames his parents for all his failures or find fault with them over trifles, reproaching that they wrote not the best for his fate.
Life has turned a joyful First way of transformation into a dissatisfied with everything and everything is difficult to prove in practice. Because it is impossible to say with great certainty whether a child is predisposed to petty insults, or whether a person has become so during his life. On the other hand, millions of gloomy people live on earth, who used to exude inner light, and now sad existence has turned them into petty and harmful subjects. The entire human race is at risk. Life can spoil the character of everyone. When a person hears about petty people, he usually grimaces and shakes his head, and in the future joins the ranks of disgruntled fussy people. Life is not deprived of a sense of humor.

"Cracking, petty person" - is that a sentence?

Whether we are talking about a serious mental disorder or a “slight indisposition” in the form of a bad character, whatever one may say, but. Because he cannot see his shortcomings (exception: psychologists and psychiatrists, but this rule also does not always work).

It is said a little higher: under adverse conditions, everyone can become a picky, petty person, so we will focus only on remarkable cases of harmfulness:

Little boss. Work is 80% of a person's time. It is regrettable, but in order to live, people need to work. Therefore, it is doubly unpleasant when the boss pesters on minor issues. The age-old Russian question: "what to do?" The function of a leader is to encourage subordinates. The boss is afraid that otherwise the employees will not perform their duties. However, with the boss is not such a trifling thing. In this case, unfortunately, there is only one way out - to change jobs. As a rule, it is impossible to have a heart-to-heart talk with the manager and ask him, as a relative or friend: “what is bothering you?”.
Petty husband. If the spouse suddenly abruptly changed his character and finds fault with trifles, then something is wrong in the Danish kingdom. In this case, unlike problems at work, you can call the dissatisfied party to a frank conversation and ask what's wrong. The relationship between husband and wife usually changes a lot when. The reasons are known: the husband is not given as much attention as before, he gets angry and takes out the accumulated aggression not directly, but indirectly - in everyday life. A man, if he is sane, understands that he is behaving immaturely, but that they cannot be dealt with at the moment of their occurrence.
Constantly clinging parents. In a situation of hidden or obvious conflict with parents, you should also not believe your eyes. Parents may be offended by their grown child for not living up to their expectations. In some cases, pettiness arises as a result of a clash of opposing ideas about the structure of life: the mother wants the child (no matter how old he is) to put the towel in place, and the child forgets, which makes the mother very nervous. Do not rush and say: “Empty! Is that a problem?!"

A picky petty person is not a sentence. But only if the person himself suffers from his temper directly or indirectly. I don't want to remind you, but evil people live in the world and they like to torture others. If a person recognizes a mental sadist in his parents, sexual partner or boss, then there is only one way out - to run and not look back from his ancestors, bedmate and boss.

A petty person - what is it? Someone who needs sympathy

The world is not without evil people. You can't argue here. But in most cases, the grumbling of the neighbor is based on psychological problems. The task of those who are not indifferent: to help a person get rid of the inner bile and let the light into himself. How to do it?

Straight Talk. People don't trust words. Too much noise around. But sincere communication between people is a luxury that is still available to everyone. If people could talk to each other without hiding behind masks, then many problems in the family or at work would not arise. But they are afraid. main human emotion.
Attentive attitude to the "petty person". If a parent or spouse is rapidly “harmful”, then they can be pulled up and pointed out to them in an undesirable transformation.

How effective the mentioned methods will be depends, not least of all, on the will of the potential "grouch", that he will choose light or darkness.

People often ask the question, what is a petty person? According to the dictionary, this is someone who finds fault with trifles. But in addition to the linguistic reality behind this phrase, there is also a psychological problem. Perhaps "pettiness" is a sign of a serious one that a person is experiencing, it is an SOS signal for loved ones.