How to deal with emotions psychology. How to learn to restrain emotions - advice from a psychologist, practical recommendations

Many people complain that they cannot collect their "nerves in a box", restrain themselves in order to maintain balance and not ignite a brewing conflict, get rid of feelings of nervousness and anxiety, or "recover themselves" after an emotional upheaval, stress. There are more than enough circumstances in life that provoke a surge of emotions: exams, job interviews, conclusion of important deals, showdown with superiors or a loved one ... But you never know the things in life that can unbalance us. An unbalanced person can explode and say too much, cry, commit an act that he will later regret - and thereby spoil not only the impression of himself, but also close some opportunities for himself.

There are two ways to overcome emotional crises. The first is to contain emotions, not the best, because by suppressing emotions in ourselves, we risk accumulating a critical mass of negativity inside - and a real emotional explosion will occur. Second, learn to control yourself. and control your emotions. This way is more productive.

Look after yourself

It is important to understand for yourself how an emotional breakdown manifests itself in you. One person breaks down into aggression, the second suddenly begins to cry, the third is speechless. You should carefully study your own reactions and build the situation in such a way as to protect yourself in the eyes of others. Therefore, when you feel that emotions are starting to get out of control, make sure that the consequences of an emotional outburst do not affect your career, do not ruin your public speaking, do not make you feel ashamed or embarrassed in front of witnesses of your weakness.

Deal with fatigue

Control over emotions weakens when a person is tired. You should not accumulate fatigue, fight it. Allow yourself to relax, change the environment, treat yourself to something pleasant. Camping, partying with trusted friends, or shopping for some nice shopping will help shift your energy to positive things and reduce the risk of an emotional breakdown with negative consequences. Physical work helps a lot, just do not forget that physical work should bring pleasure. During a break or vacation, work on strengthening the nervous system. To do this, you may have to do meditation, yoga, sports exercises. Walks will not interfere, during which you can, for example, collect pebbles or take photographs. Don't forget that creativity heals. Think of forgotten hobbies, read a book that you have long put aside for reading. Sit by the water, get rid of obsessive thoughts, listen to the birds singing or just watch in the aquarium.

Breathe deep

If you feel that stress is rolling over you, stop, take a comfortable position, relax, take deep and slow breaths, try to get rid of the rush. No need to be afraid to be late - remember that your peace of mind is the key to efficiency in any work. Analyze your own emotions: try to understand what exactly unsettles you, what is the trigger for emotions. You should not skimp on the time if you want to dedicate it to "putting things in order" inside. Clear thoughts are a guarantee that emotions will not overwhelm you unexpectedly. Favorite music will help bring emotions and thoughts into a state of harmony. You should not listen to something new in critical situations. Familiar calm music will work well, it will relieve stress and return emotions to their usual course.

Don't be afraid to see a psychotherapist

If you manage to control your emotions worse and worse, and the suppression of emotions has a depressing effect on your mood, besides, you are confused and cannot calm down on your own, and adrenaline "flashes" inside plunge you into a state of melancholy or fear - you should think about visiting a psychologist, psychotherapist. A professional in his field will help you understand the intricacies of causes and effects, remember forgotten nervous shocks and difficult impressions in order to experience them consciously and part with them. By the way, a reliable friend or girlfriend can play the role of a psychotherapist. You can, of course, rely on your loved one in these matters, but this is fraught with consequences. Close, loving people are impressionable, and if you “load” such a person, relationships can suffer, and feelings of awkwardness and guilt can push you away from the one who involuntarily became a “vest” for you. However, if there is unconditional trust and spiritual intimacy between you and a loved one, then you can even give vent to tears. By crying, you will free your psyche from unnecessary emotions.

Incredible Facts

Feeling emotions is normal, the problem is that often we do not know at all what to do with them.

Therefore, in most cases, we resort to familiar methods. For men, the most common outlets are video games, alcohol and smoking. Women deal with their emotions through food or shopping.

It's good if it happens from time to time. However, most often we use such unhealthy methods regularly. In the end, our relationships, work and health suffer.

How can you learn to manage your emotions effectively?

There are a few rules to remember.

How to learn to control your emotions

1. You don't choose your emotions because they originate in a part of the brain that we have no control over.

2. Emotions defy moral rules. They are neither good nor bad, right or wrong. It's just emotions.

3. You are in charge of your emotions.

4. You can suppress emotions, but you cannot get rid of them.

5. Emotions can lead you astray or lead you down the right path. Everything depends on your actions.

6. The more you ignore them, the stronger they become.

7. The only way to deal with emotions is to allow yourself to feel them..

8. Emotions fuel your thoughts. You can use your thoughts to control your emotions.

9. You need to understand your emotions and what they want to tell you so you can deal with stress. In other words, you need to digest your emotions.

10. Every emotion carries an important message. This message helps you understand yourself better, even if you try to hide it. Do yourself a favor and accept whatever emotions you have by feeling them.

11. How your parents reacted to your emotions determines how you feel about your emotions now. As you have matured, your emotions have matured along with you. They developed, became deeper and more influential.

How to manage emotions

Your emotions have long been trying to come to the surface. They do not disappear, but go deep into the roots, and these roots make sense.

If you want to get to know your emotions better, start acknowledging them to avoid misunderstandings with others.

There are a few simple steps on how to learn to deal with your emotions.

1. What emotion are you experiencing

The first thing you need to do is determine how you feel. Psychologists distinguish 4 basic emotions: anxiety, sadness, anger, joy.

When you are anxious, thoughts come to you: " What if I don't find a job?", "What if I'm lonely?", "What if I fail the exam?". You worry about the future and what might go wrong. Physically, you may feel an increased heartbeat, muscle tension, jaw clenching.

When you are sad, you have negative thoughts about the past. You feel tired and heavy, you may cry and have difficulty concentrating.

Anger is expressed in thoughts focused on how someone encroached on your values. The physical symptoms are similar to those of anxiety: heart palpitations, a feeling of tightness in the chest.

When you rejoice, thoughts are focused on your accomplishments. For example, you got a desired job, bought an apartment, or received a compliment. Physically, you feel light and calm, smile and laugh.

2. Determine the message of your emotions

Ask yourself a question to understand why you have this or that emotion:

Anxiety: What am I afraid of?

Sadness: What have I lost?

Anger: What values ​​of mine have been hurt by the other person?

Happiness: What did I get?

Emotion management

Once you have identified an emotion and its message, you need to take action. Ask yourself if there is anything that can solve the situation. If possible, do so.

For example, if you are sad and cannot find a job, you can turn to friends and acquaintances for help.

If there is nothing you can do, think about how you can deal with the emotion. Meditate, talk to a friend, write down your thoughts on paper, get physically active, seek professional help. Choose what's right for you.

In everyday life between people, due to the difference in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to the excessive emotionality of a person and the lack of self-control. emotions? How to "take over" your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

What is self-control for?

Restraint and self-control is something that many people lack. This comes with time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions, and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that it is necessary and find agreement with your own "I".

Control over emotions does not allow aggravation of the conflict situation, allows you to find with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary for building relationships with people, whether business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The impact of negative emotions on life

Disruptions and scandals, in which negative energy is released, adversely affect not only the people around, but also the instigator of conflict situations. your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder the normal development of the individual and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate / communicate / live with a person who does not control himself and, at every opportunity, starts a large-scale scandal. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then soon he will leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give vent to negative emotions. The child will feel every word spoken by the parent in the heat of anger, and subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

Negative emotions also have a big impact on business and work activities. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, therefore self-control plays an important role here: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure, they are required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue, where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to restrain emotions in the workplace? Do not respond to the provocations of employees, try to start a casual conversation, agree with the authorities in everything, even if the tasks set are difficult to accomplish.

Suppression of emotions

Constantly holding yourself back within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity in itself, and therefore, the risk of developing psychological diseases increases. It is necessary to “splash out” the negative from time to time somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people do not suffer. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to the inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negative quickly disappears.

For the release of negative energy, wrestling, boxing, hand-to-hand combat are suitable. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relieved and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it should be borne in mind that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to keep your emotions in check:

• Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do it, but, of course, not in the truest sense of the word. At that moment, when you become uncomfortable from communicating with him, do mentally with this person whatever you want.
• Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the leaf and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prevention

How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives such an answer to this question: in order to control one's feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words, emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and optimal way to control emotions. It does not require additional training of a person and the intervention of a specialist. Preventive measures allow you to protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns for a long time.

The main thing that helps to get the better of your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence and adjust all this for himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventive rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debt

Complete all planned tasks in a short time, do not leave work unfinished - this can cause a delay in deadlines, while provoking negative emotions. Also, "tails" can be reproached, point out your incompetence.

In financial terms, try to avoid delays in payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from reaching your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity, helplessness in the face of the circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and forces, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the other hand, is a hindrance to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Create a comfortable workplace for yourself, equip your home according to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should be comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to competently make plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have a little more time and resources for the implementation of the tasks set than you need. This will avoid the negative associated with the constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and workflow

Avoid contact with unpleasant people who waste your personal time. In particular, with individuals who are called "energy vampires" - they take not only time, but also your strength. If possible, try not to intersect with overly temperamental people, as any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to control your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your place of work. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of peace of mind.

Border marking

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line beyond which no one, even the closest person, should cross. Make a set of rules that restrict people from interacting with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who oppose the settings should not be in your environment. To communicate with outsiders, develop a special system that will avoid violation of your boundaries and the formation of conflict situations.

Physical activity and introspection

Playing sports will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Give sports from 30 minutes to 1 hour a day, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you did the right thing in this or that situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether there was enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people that cause negativity. own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop the ability to switch from negative to positive emotions, try to see the positive side in any situation. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with relatives and strangers? Be positive, and this will help you defeat your own temper.

A well-chosen goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. Choose only realistic, achievable goals.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit in talking to them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious, you need to urgently change to switch to individuals who carry positive emotions. Of course, it is unrealistic to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the workspace.

In addition to changing the environment, expanding the circle of friends will help to achieve the development of self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.

The inability to control our emotions, sometimes, not in the best way affects our relationships with other people. If you want to avoid problems in many areas of life due to the inability to suppress your anger, jealousy and other negative feelings, then we recommend that you use some simple tips.

Managing your own emotions - good or bad

It should be understood that the control of emotions does not mean a ban on emotions in general. We are talking about the upbringing of an internal culture, which, as a rule, characterizes precisely decent and self-confident people. Please note that there is nothing wrong with freely displaying your spontaneous positive emotions, but this should in no way prevent you from suppressing negative manifestations of feelings in special situations.

As you already understood, control of emotions can be called control, first of all, involuntary emotions, which in turn can be called one of the most important components of a person’s self-control. It is also important to understand that control in no way equals prohibition.

If you learn to control your emotions well at the right time, then, of course, this will only play into your hands. When a person is truly mature, he will not complain about the lack of self-control - he diligently develops it. And in general, complaints are the behavior inherent in children and "adult children" who do not want to grow up.

As a result, we can conclude that for a comfortable life in society, control of emotions is still needed. However, for a neurotic and unrestrained person, this will not be easy - in this case, such a task can do more harm than good. Such a person will be even more annoyed, and as a result, the situation may turn out to be worse than it was originally. At the same time, it is important to emphasize that the total inability to restrain oneself refers to mental disorders, no matter how serious it may sound. Perhaps it makes sense to consult a specialist. If you learn to manage your emotions, then there will be no need to control them.

Remember that the spontaneous nature of emotions interferes with our achievement of long-term goals - with our mood swings, we can complicate our own life at the most inopportune moment. It is very difficult to come to the realization of one's true purpose for a person who regularly succumbs to an emotional outburst.

How to learn to control your emotions and manage them

We often get emotional at the wrong time. Not always one of our reactions is an adequate response in a given situation. Probably, you yourself have noticed that in moments of emotional outburst, often, we think much worse than in a calm state. Sometimes, you just need to move away from the situation, but internal impulses simply do not allow it. And yet, a person who has managed to make himself a developed personality understands how useful it is to be able to manage your emotions. Also, for sure, many people understand that an educated person differs from an ill-mannered person in that he is able to control himself, even when it is rather difficult. In general, self-control is very important. What techniques can you use to cultivate self-restraint?

"Hold" your face

This advice is very simple, but has a tremendous effect. Even if a negative emotion has already arisen for you, do not let it show on your face! If you manage to do this, the intensity of emotions will obviously become less.

With some effort, for sure, you will be able to develop the skill of “calm presence” in yourself. As you know, the Indians are famous for the fact that they often skillfully control their emotions - not a single muscle flinches on their face when they are angry, disappointed or surprised. Perhaps, in such a reaction, the true inner strength of a person is manifested. Conclusion: no matter what storms overcome you inside, outwardly you should not demonstrate it.

Breath

In peak situations, it is important to monitor your breathing - when its rhythm changes, the emotional state also undergoes a change. Just calmly inhale and exhale, and your condition will gradually return to normal.

It is highly undesirable to demonstrate your negative emotions in the workplace - this is fraught not only with problems in the team, but, sometimes, with a banal dismissal. However, it is important to note that not only the subordinate, but also the leadership should restrain oneself!

When you are the boss, you need to learn to control yourself emotionally

People who find themselves in leadership positions often cease to adequately evaluate colleagues over time, demanding more from them than they are able or able to give. As a result, an employee who does not live up to expectations falls under emotional fire. Think about it, perhaps in your team there is a similar situation, and you simply demand more from people than they are obliged to do. If this is not the case at all, and you understand that the employee has not coped with his immediate duties, then it is much more effective to reprimand him in a cold and strict tone than to go on shouting.

Ways to deal with emotions when you are a subordinate

The most important thing is not to try on the image of the victim. Sometimes, an employee who is offended by the manager almost “relishes” the painful phrases that he voices. A person does not analyze the spoken words, does not think what caused them - he simply accumulates hatred for the boss. Of course, it is not easy to be neutral towards a person who radiates negativity in your direction, but it is also important to remember that hatred destroys a person, so you should not cherish it. Perhaps, in some similar situation, you are not able to give a worthy rebuff, but you are certainly capable of ignoring. When you realize that the situation has become a peak, just turn off your consciousness. You don't have to prove anything to your opponent. Wait until he speaks out, and only then calmly tell him what you wanted. Do not worry that this will not be timely - this will not cancel the desired effect.

How to become emotionally stable in any situation

Learn to deal with negative emotions and not succumb to them

If you develop the following skills in yourself, then it will be much easier for you to learn how to manage your emotions.

• Attention management. You should pay attention to important, positive things, and try not to focus on the negative.
• Control of facial expressions. In particularly difficult situations, it is advisable to save face and not show that you are overcome by any negative emotions.
• Developed imagination. It helps, if necessary, to distract from unpleasant situations, and “switch” to something else.
• Breath. When you learn to control your breathing, it will be easier for you to calm yourself.

As you already understood, not everyone is able to manage their own emotional state. And in general, not all emotions can be controlled. And yet, each of us can approach the ideal in this sense, if we really want to set ourselves such a task. You can come to this on your own or trust specialists in specialized centers. In the second case, it is important that your mentors have high qualifications, and the centers have a good reputation. To decide on the choice of such an institution, you can read the reviews on the Web.

Remember that our thoughts play a huge role in our lives. When we pay attention to the positive aspects, then inside we seem to “start” a positive state. If we focus more on the negative aspects, then we attract more negativity into our lives. Of course, this does not mean at all that you need to ignore life's problems, but learn to treat them constructively: not to be a victim of circumstances, but to look for ways to solve difficulties.

If negative thoughts overwhelm you, try to forcibly switch them, direct them in a positive direction - start thinking about something good, or make some plans that cheer you up. You can simply visualize beautiful pictures in your thoughts - landscapes, loved ones in a festive setting, and so on.

In moments when you are trying to get your emotions under control, you should think about how you benefit from being in a negative state. Often, a person does not realize that fear, anger or resentment is not a natural or natural state at all. In fact, this is our personal choice, and subconsciously we decided that it is beneficial to us in the current situation and solves some of our problems. Until you understand why you chose to experience this state, it will be difficult for you to get rid of it.

Do not suppress or hide your emotions - it is important to be able to control them

As we have already noted, do not forbid yourself to express emotions. We are talking about something completely different - emotions need to be kept under control! Do not give vent to too negative manifestations of feelings, and allow yourself to demonstrate a positive mood. Let's find out what a person who is not able to control negative emotions can lose.

1) Positive state

A person who has been overcome by negative feelings is hardly capable of thinking positively. Having succumbed to the influence of anger, anger, or something like that, he is unlikely to be able to “tune in” to another wave in the near future.

2) Calmness

Sometimes, this is even more important than being positive. A person who is in a calm state is always able to think more soberly than one who is subject to overwhelming emotions.

3) Relationships

Unfortunately, many relationships, which include love, friendship, business, are collapsing due to the fact that someone failed to restrain the flow of negativity in time. Often such behavior undermines trust, kills feelings, which in the end often leads to a break in relations.

4) Reputation

A person who allows himself the frequent manifestation of negative emotions is unlikely to have a reputation as a respected and adequate person. When you don’t know what to expect from the interlocutor or you assume that he may suddenly flare up or something like that, you try to limit communication with him. Gradually, an opinion is formed about a person that does not paint him at all.

5) Control over life

Those who are not able to control their emotions cannot fully control their lives. By succumbing to a sudden impulse, a person can lose a lot or face other unpleasant consequences of his impulse. As a result, the life of such a person develops less successfully than it could.

In general, the list of losses does not end there, but it is already clear from the points listed above that the lack of control over emotions can sometimes lead to an unpleasant outcome.

Of course, when there are children in the family, the nervous situation in the family may not develop in the best way for their subsequent psychological development. In the presence of children, it is especially important to control your emotions!

Techniques for coping with over-emotionality

identification technique. It can help in some peak situations when you need to control yourself. In such cases, it is useful to imagine yourself not as yourself, but as someone else. You can try on the image of some hero or person that you want to be like in such moments. Accordingly, you should react and act in the same way as the person with whom you identify yourself would do. The method is quite suitable for creative people with a developed imagination.

Self-hypnosis technique. You may well use a simplified self-hypnosis technique. At the right moment, you should say certain attitudes to yourself: “I own myself”, “I am invulnerable and calm”, “Nothing will drive me crazy”, and the like.

Parenting Books on Managing Emotions

If you understand that your family members do not always manage to cope with the intensity of any emotions, then, of course, it makes sense to read the literature that teaches you to cope with the manifestation of negativity.

What books are worth paying special attention to? You may like the methodology that Richard Fitfield offers in his book “Managing Emotions. Creation of harmonious relations. Also a lot of useful information can be gleaned in the book "The New Positive Psychology: A Scientific View of Happiness and the Meaning of Life" (Seligman Martin E.P.). For many parents, the work of Capponi W. and Novak T. “Your own psychologist” or Rainwater J. “It is in your power to help in managing emotions can help. How to become your own psychotherapist.

Emotion management does not need to be presented as a particularly difficult task, however, it should not be ignored either. It is often difficult to achieve the set goal for people who have already missed the moment of the emergence of emotions, did not warn her and the actions of the interlocutors who created these emotions.

It is easy for an experienced specialist to understand whether a person is able to control his emotions by studying his “body language”. If a person is imperturbable, his body is relaxed and collected - he is probably able to master his condition at the right moment. If a person's movements are chaotic, his gaze is uncertain or wandering, then, apparently, it is not easy for him to cope with possible negative reactions. Also, a specialist can give a very disappointing assessment to a person whose body is very tense, clamped, or as if “trembling”. What is meant by the last definition? "Rattle" is characterized by uncontrolled tension running through the body - it can be twitching of the fingers, lips, muscles near the eyes, and so on. These symptoms can be learned to be controlled by practicing "calm presence" which is specifically mentioned in this article.

There is another important condition for managing emotions - you should learn to relax yourself in various conditions and situations. Always make sure that the body is in a calm state - such a skill will provide you with wonderful results.

Some believe that in a love relationship it is not necessary to restrain their emotions, believing that a loved one should accept them "as they are." It is worth noting that for the time being this may happen, but one day a flurry of negative emotions can still kill the feelings of even the most loving partner. At the same time, this happens completely involuntarily - it’s just that a person once realizes that he is tired of unreasonable jealousy, irascibility, aggression, resentment, or other impartial emotions of a lover.

When this critical moment comes, it becomes difficult to correct the situation, and sometimes even impossible. Of course, in order not to lead to such an outcome, it is better to initially value your relationship, and not allow spontaneous negative emotions to destroy the trust and harmony that have developed in a couple. Remember that one thoughtless word can echo in all your subsequent relationships with your loved one.

Don Juan on the control of emotions (Carlos Castaneda "Controlled Stupidity")

The last point will tell you about stalking - a special technique that helps to track down your emotions and feelings in order to keep them under control. In Castaneda's writings, don Juan says that stalking can be called "controlled stupidity." If you have studied English, then you probably know that the word "stalking" comes from the verb "to stalk", which means "to secretly pursue, using various tricks and tricks", and usually refers to hunting. A hunter is called a stalker. Don Juan Matus taught Castaneda how to hunt, first offering to study the habits of wild animals.

The author of the book is convinced that one should not forget about the stalker's method in everyday life. It is obvious that the actions of the stalker, as a rule, are based on observations, and not at all on what he thinks. Often we are unable to distinguish between our ideas and reality, confusing observation with judgment. Meanwhile, when a hunter watches, there is no place in his thoughts for reflection, condemnation, internal dialogue - he simply watches what is happening.

Carlos Castaneda points out our attention to the fact that, at times, we not only do not control our negative emotions, but also indulge them. Many people know what it means to be offended by someone, angry or suffering for many years, without doing anything that could eliminate this condition.

Don Juan calls this self-indulgence, weakness, and self-pity a waste of energy that brings only fatigue and deprives us of many accomplishments. Of course, there is no doubt that a person who indulges in such weaknesses becomes weak himself.