Those words that we did not say each. Mark Levy those words that we did not say to each other

18.04.2021 -

Current page: 1 (total book has 17 pages) [accessible reading excerpt: 4 pages]

Mark Levy
Those words that we did not say to each other

There are two ways to look at life: as if there can be no miracle in the world, or as if everything in the world is a miracle.

Albert Einstein

Dedicated to Pauline and Louis

1

“Well, how do you find me?”

- Turn around, let me look at you one more time from behind.

“Stanley, you’ve been staring at me from all sides for half an hour now, I don’t have the strength to hang around on this podium anymore!”

- I would shorten it: hiding legs like yours is just blasphemy!

- Stanley!

“You wanted to hear my opinion, right? Come on, turn around to face me one more time! Yeah, that's what I thought: the cutout, front and back, is exactly the same; at least if you plant a stain, you take it and turn the dress over, and no one will notice anything!

– Stanley!!!

- And anyway, what kind of fiction is this - buying a wedding dress on sale, u-u-horror! Then why not through the Internet?! You wanted to know my opinion - you heard it.

“Sorry, I can't afford anything better with my computer graphics salary.

- Artists, you are my princess, not graphics, but artists! God, how I hate this machine jargon of the twenty-first century!

- What to do, Stanley, I work on a computer and felt-tip pens!

- My best friend draws and then brings her adorable little animals to life, so remember: with or without a computer, you are an artist, not a computer graphics; and in general, what kind of business - do you definitely need to argue on every occasion?

So are we shortening or leaving it as it is?

- Five centimeters, no less! And then, it is necessary to remove in the shoulders and narrow in the waist.

- In general, everything is clear to me: you hated this dress.

- I don't say that!

You don't talk, but you think.

- I beg you, let me take part of the expenses for myself, and let's look at Anna Meyer! Well, listen to me for once in your life!

- What for? To buy a dress for ten thousand dollars? Yes, you're just crazy! You'd think you've got that kind of money and it's all just a wedding, Stanley.

– yours wedding.

“I know,” Julia sighed.

- And your father, with his - that wealth, could well ...

“The last time I caught a glimpse of my father was when I was standing at a traffic light and he passed me on Fifth Avenue… and that was six months ago. So let's close this topic!

And Julia, shrugging her shoulders, descended from the dais. Stanley took her hand and hugged her.

“My dear, any dress in the world would suit you, I just want it to be perfect. Why not offer your future husband to give it to you?

“Because Adam's parents are already paying for the wedding ceremony, and I would feel much better if his family stopped talking about him marrying Cinderella.

Stanley danced across the trading floor. The shop assistants and saleswomen, who were chatting enthusiastically at the counter next to the cash register, did not pay any attention to him. He removed a tight white satin dress from the rack by the display case and returned to it.

- Well, try on this, just don’t try to object!

“Stanley, this is a thirty-sixth size, I will never fit into it!”

- Do what you are told!

Julia rolled her eyes and dutifully made her way to the dressing room where Stanley had directed her.

“Stanley, this is size thirty-six!” she repeated, hiding in the booth.

A few minutes later the curtain was pulled open, with a jerk, as decisively as it had just been drawn.

- Well, finally I see something similar to Julia's wedding dress! Stanley exclaimed. “Walk down the runway one more time.”

“Do you have a winch to drag me there?” I have to lift my leg...

- It suits you like a miracle!

“Perhaps, but if I swallow even one cookie, it will burst at the seams.

“It is not proper for a bride to eat on her wedding day!” Don't worry, loosen the tuck on your chest a little bit and you'll look like a queen! .. Listen, will we ever be honored by at least one salesman in this damn store?

“I think it’s me who should be nervous right now, not you!”

- I'm not nervous, I'm just amazed that four days before the wedding ceremony, it's me who has to drag you around the shops to buy a dress!

- I have been working up to my neck lately! And please, don't let Adam know about today, I swore to him a month ago that everything was ready.

Stanley picked up a pin cushion someone had left on the arm of a chair and knelt down in front of Julia.

- Your future husband does not understand how lucky he is: you are just a miracle.

“Stop picking on Adam. And in general, what do you blame him for?

“Because he looks like your father…”

- Don't talk nonsense. Adam has nothing to do with my father; besides, he can't stand it.

“Adam is your father?” Bravo, that's a point in his favor!

“No, it's my father who hates Adam.

“Oh, your parent hates everything that comes near you. If you had a dog, he would bite her.

- But no: if I had a dog, she would have bitten my father herself, - Julia laughed.

“And I say your father would have bitten a dog!”

Stanley got up and stepped back a few paces, admiring his work. Shaking his head, he let out a heavy sigh.

- What else? Julia was worried.

"It's flawless...or not, you're flawless!" Let me fit you a belt, and then you can take me to dinner.

“Any restaurant of your choice, Stan Lee, honey!”

“The sun is so hot that the nearest café terrace will do for me—provided it’s in the shade and you stop twitching, or I’ll never finish this dress…almost flawless.”

Why almost?

“Because it's on sale, my dear!

A saleswoman passing by asked if they needed help. With a majestic wave of his hand, Stanley rejected her offer.

Do you think he will come?

- Who? Julia asked.

"Your father, you idiot!"

“Stop talking about my father. I told you I haven't heard from him in months.

Well, that doesn't mean anything...

- He will not come!

“Did you let him know about yourself?”

“Listen, I refused to let my father’s personal secretary into my life a long time ago, because dad is either away or in a meeting, and he has no time to personally talk with his daughter.

“But did you at least send him the wedding notice?”

- Will you finish soon?

- Now! You and him are like an old married couple: he is jealous. However, all fathers are jealous of their daughters! Nothing, he'll get over it.

“Look, this is the first time I've heard you defend him. If we are like an old married couple, it is one that got divorced many years ago.

"I Will Survive" sounded in Julia's bag 1
"I will live" ( English).

Stanley looked questioningly at his friend.

- Can I give you a cell phone?

- It must be Adam or from the studio ...

“Just don’t move, or you’ll ruin all my work.” Now I will bring it.

Stanley reached into Julia's bottomless bag, pulled out her cell phone, and handed it to her. Gloria Gaynor fell silent at once.

“It’s too late, they’ve already switched off,” Julia whispered, glancing at the number that appeared.

- So who is it - Adam or from work?

“Neither,” said Julia sullenly.

Stanley looked at her inquisitively.

- Well, shall we play a guessing game?

“They called from my father's office.

So give him a call!

- Well, I do not! Let him call.

But he just did exactly that, didn't he?

- No, it was his secretary who did it, but I know his number.

“Listen, you've been waiting for this call since the very minute you dropped the wedding notice in the mailbox, so drop these childish insults. Four days before marriage, it is not recommended to fall into stress, otherwise you will get a huge sore on your lip or a purple boil on your neck. If you don't want that, dial his number right now.

- What for? For Wallace to tell me that my father is genuinely upset because that is the day he has to go abroad and, alas, will not be able to cancel the trip he planned many months ago? Or, for example, that he has a matter of extreme importance planned exactly for that day? Or God knows what other explanation.

“What if your father said that he would be happy to come to his daughter’s wedding and called, just wanting to make sure that she would seat him in the place of honor at the wedding table?”

- My father does not care about honor; if he did show up, he'd choose a seat closer to the locker room - assuming, of course, that there was a reasonably pretty young woman nearby.

- All right, Julia, forget about your hatred and call ... But, however, do as you know, only I warn you: instead of enjoying the wedding ceremony, you will look through your eyes, looking for whether he came or not.

“That’s good, it will distract me from thinking about snacks, because I won’t be able to swallow a crumb, otherwise the dress you chose for me will burst at the seams.

- Well, honey, you got me! – caustically said Stanley and headed for the exit. "Let's have lunch some other time when you're in a better mood."

Julia stumbled and almost fell as she hurried down the podium. She caught up with Stanley and hugged him tightly.

“Well, I’m sorry, Stanley, I didn’t mean to offend you, I’m just very upset.

- What - a call from your father or a dress that I so unsuccessfully chose and tailored to you? By the way, pay attention: not a single seam burst when you were so awkwardly descending from the podium.

“Your dress is gorgeous, and you are my best friend, and without you I would never have dared to walk down the aisle in my life.

Stanley looked at Julia carefully, took a silk handkerchief from his pocket and wiped her wet eyes.

“Do you really want to walk down the aisle arm in arm with a crazy friend, or maybe you have an insidious plan to make me pretend to be your motherfucking dad?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, you don’t have enough wrinkles to look believable in this role.

- Balda, I'm giving you a compliment, hinting at how young you are.

“Stanley, I want you to lead me to my fiancé!” You and no one else!

He smiled and said softly, pointing to his cell phone:

- Call your father! And I'll go and give some orders to this idiot saleswoman - she, in my opinion, does not know how to deal with customers; I will explain to her that the dress should be ready the day after tomorrow, and then we will finally go to dinner. Come on, Julia, call quickly, I'm starving!

Stanley turned around and went to the checkout. On the way, he stole a glance at Julia and saw that she, after hesitating, did dial the number. He seized the moment and discreetly took out his own checkbook, paid for the dress, for the fit, and paid extra for the urgency: it should be ready in two days. Slipping the receipts into his pocket, he returned to Julia just as she turned off her cell phone.

- Well, will he come? he asked impatiently.

Julia shook her head.

“And what pretext did he put forward this time in his defense?”

Julia took a deep breath and glared at Stanley.

- He died!

For a minute the friends looked at each other in silence.

- Well, yes, the pretext, I must say, is impeccable, you won’t undermine! Stanley finally muttered.

“Listen, are you crazy?

“Sorry, it came out so easily… I don’t know what came over me.” I feel very sorry for you, dear.

“But I don’t feel anything, Stanley, absolutely nothing - not the slightest pain in my heart, I don’t even want to cry.

– Don't worry, everything will come later, you haven't really got it yet.

- Oh no, it's over.

“Could you call Adam?”

“Not now, later.

Stanley looked worriedly at his girlfriend.

“Would you like to tell the groom that your father died today?”

– He died last night in Paris; the body will be delivered by plane, the funeral is in four days,” Julia said in a barely audible voice.

Stanley quickly counted, curling his fingers.

That is, this Saturday! he exclaimed, widening his eyes.

“That's right, just on my wedding day,” Julia whispered.

Stanley immediately went to the checkout, canceled the purchase and took Julia outside.

- Come on I I'll invite you to dinner!

* * *

In recent years, old warehouses have given way to luxury shops and boutiques of trendy couturiers. Prestigious hotels and shopping centers sprang up here like mushrooms. The former factory narrow-gauge railway turned into a green boulevard that stretched all the way to Tenth Street. The first floor of the old factory, which had already ceased to exist, was occupied by the bioproducts market, production companies and advertising agencies settled on the other floors, and at the very top there was a studio where Julia worked. The banks of the Hudson, also landscaped, have now become a long promenade for cyclists, joggers and lovebirds who have chosen the Manhattan benches - just like in Woody Allen's films. From Thursday evening, residents of neighboring New Jersey filled the block, they crossed the river to wander along the embankment and have fun in the many trendy bars and restaurants.

When the friends finally settled in on the outdoor terrace of Pastis, Stanley ordered two cappuccinos.

“I should have called Adam a long time ago,” Julia said guiltily.

“If only to announce the death of my father, then certainly. But if you also want to tell him that you have to postpone the wedding, that you need to warn the priest, the restaurateur, the guests, and most importantly, his parents, then all this can wait a bit. Look how wonderful the weather is - let Adam live in peace for another hour before you ruin his day. And besides, you are in mourning, and mourning excuses everything, so take advantage of it!

- How can I tell him?

“My dear, he must understand that it is quite difficult to bury a father and get married on the same day; but even if you yourself consider it possible, I will tell you right away: to others this idea will seem completely unacceptable. Oh my god, how could this happen?!

“Believe me, Stanley, the Lord God has absolutely nothing to do with it: my father chose this date - and only he alone!”

“Well, I don’t think he chose to die last night in Paris for the sole purpose of interfering with your wedding, although I admit that he showed quite refined taste in choosing such a place for his death!”

“You don’t know him, he can do anything to make me cry!”

- Okay, drink your cappuccino, enjoy the hot sun, and then we will call your future spouse!

2

The wheels of an Air France Boeing 747 screeched down the runway at Kennedy Airport. Standing against the glazed wall of the arrivals hall, Julia watched the long mahogany coffin float down the conveyor to the hearse. The airport police officer came to the waiting room for her. Julia, her father's secretary, her fiancé, and her best friend got into a minicar that took them to the plane. An official from the US Customs Service was waiting for her at the gangway to hand over a package containing business papers, a watch, and the deceased's passport.

Julia leafed through her passport. Numerous visas spoke eloquently about the last months of Anthony Walsh's life: St. Petersburg, Berlin, Hong Kong, Bombay, Saigon, Sydney ... How many cities she had never been, how many countries she so wanted to see with him!

As the four men fussed around the coffin, Julia thought of her father's distant travels in those years when she, still quite a bully girl, fought for any reason at recess in the schoolyard.

How many nights she spent without sleep, waiting for her father to return, how many times in the morning, on the way to school, she jumped on the pavement tiles, playing imaginary hopscotch and guessing that if she didn’t go astray now, he would certainly come today. And sometimes her fervent prayer at night actually worked a miracle: the bedroom door opened, and in a bright strip of light, the shadow of Anthony Walsh appeared. He would sit at her feet and put a small package on the blanket that should have been opened in the morning. These gifts illuminated all of Julia's childhood: from each trip, her father brought his daughter some funny little thing that told her at least a little about where he had been. A doll from Mexico, an ink brush from China, a wooden figurine from Hungary, a bracelet from Guatemala – these were real treasures for the girl.

And then her mother showed the first symptoms of a mental disorder. Julia remembered how confused she once was at the cinema, at the Sunday screening, when her mother suddenly asked in the middle of the film why the lights had been turned off. Her mind was declining catastrophically, memory lapses, at first insignificant, became more and more serious: she began to confuse the kitchen with the music salon, and this gave rise to heart-rending cries: “Where did the piano disappear to?” At first she was surprised at the loss of things, then she began to forget the names of those who lived next to her. The real horror was the day when she exclaimed at the sight of Julia: “Where did this pretty girl come from in my house?” And the endless emptiness of that December, when the ambulance came for her mother: she set fire to her dressing gown and calmly watched it burn, very pleased that she learned how to make fire by lighting a cigarette, and she never smoked.

This is how Julia's mother was; a few years later, she died in a New Jersey clinic, never recognizing her own daughter. Mourning coincided with Julia's adolescence, when she spent endless evenings poring over her lessons under the supervision of her father's personal secretary - he himself still traveled around the world, only these trips became more and more frequent, more and more long. Then there was college, university and leaving the university, to finally surrender to her only passion - animating her characters, she first drew them with felt-tip pens, and then revived them on a computer screen. Animals with almost human features, faithful companions and accomplices ... It took one stroke of her pencil to make them smile at her, one click of the mouse to dry their tears.

“Miss Walsh, is this your father's ID?”

The customs officer's voice brought Julia back to reality. Instead of answering, she gave a short nod. The clerk signed and stamped the photograph of Anthony Walsh. This last stamp in the passport with many visas no longer spoke of anything - only the disappearance of its owner.

The coffin was placed in a long black hearse. Stanley sat down next to the driver, Adam opened the door for Julia and gently helped her into the car. Anthony Walsh's personal secretary perched on a bench at the back, near the coffin with the body of the owner. The car left the airfield, taxied onto Highway 678 and headed north.

Silence reigned in the car. Wallace kept his eyes on the coffin that hid the remains of his former employer. Stanley studied his hands stubbornly, Adam looked at Julia, Julia contemplated the gray landscape of the New York suburbs.

- Which road will you take? she asked the driver as the Long Island junction appeared ahead.

“By Whitestone Bridge, ma'am,” he replied.

“Could you drive across the Brooklyn Bridge?”

The driver immediately turned on the turn signal and changed lanes.

“But this way we have to make a huge detour,” Adam whispered, “he was driving along the shortest route.

“The day is ruined anyway, so why don’t we make it happy?”

- Whom? Adam asked.

- My father. Let's give him one last walk down Wall Street and Tribeca and Soho and Central Park too.

“I agree, the day is ruined anyway, so if you want to please your father…” Adam repeated. “But then it is necessary to warn the priest that we will be late.”

Adam, do you like dogs? Stanley asked.

“Yes…well, yes…only they don’t like me.” Why did you ask?

“Yeah, just curious,” Stanley replied vaguely, lowering the window on his side.

The van crossed Manhattan Island from south to north, and an hour later turned onto 233rd Street.

The barrier went up at the main gate of Woodlawn Cemetery. The van entered the narrow lane, rounded the central flower bed, passed a series of family crypts, climbed up the escarpment above the lake, and stopped in front of a site where a freshly dug grave was ready to receive its future inhabitant.

The priest was already waiting for them. The coffin was placed on the goats. Adam went to the priest to discuss the final details of the ceremony. Stanley put his arm around Julia's shoulders.

- What are you thinking about? he asked her.

- What can I think about at the moment when I bury my father, whom I have not spoken to for many years ?! You always ask awfully strange questions, my dear Stanley.

- No, this time I ask quite seriously: what are you thinking about right now? After all, this minute is very important, you will remember it, it will forever become a part of your life, believe me!

- I was thinking about my mother. I wonder if she will recognize him there, in heaven, or will she wander among the clouds, restless, forgetting everything in the world.

So you already believe in God?

– No, but it is better to be prepared for pleasant surprises.

“Then, Julia, dear, I want to confess something to you, just swear that you will not laugh at me: the older I get, the more I believe in a good god.”

Julia replied with a barely perceptible sad grin:

“Actually, if we talk about my father, I’m not at all sure that the existence of God will be good news for him.

“The priest wants to know if everything is ready and if we can start,” Adam said as he approached.

“There will be only four of us,” Julia replied, beckoning her father's secretary over. - This is the bitter fate of all great travelers and lonely filibusters. Relatives and friends are replaced by acquaintances scattered all over the world ... And acquaintances rarely come from afar to attend the funeral - this is not the moment when you can do someone a favor or mercy. Man is born alone and dies alone.

“Those words were spoken by the Buddha, and your father, my dear, was a zealous Irish Catholic,” Adam protested.

“Doberman… You should have a huge Doberman, Adam!” Stanley said with a sigh.

“God, why are you so impatient to impose a dog on me?!

“Nothing, forget what I said.

The priest approached Julia and lamented that today he had to perform this mournful ceremony, instead of performing a wedding ceremony.

“Couldn’t you kill two birds with one stone?” Julia asked him. “I don't care about the guests. And for your patron, the main thing is good intentions, isn't it?

“Miss Walsh, come to your senses!”

“Yes, I assure you, it makes no sense at all: at least then my father would be able to attend my marriage.

- Julia! Adam reprimanded her severely in turn.

“All right, so everyone present considers my proposal unsuccessful,” she concluded.

- Would you like to say a few words? the priest asked.

“Of course I would like to ...” Julia answered, looking at the coffin. “And maybe you, Wallace? she suggested to her father's private secretary. “Ultimately, you were his most loyal friend.

“I don’t think I’m capable of it, miss,” replied the secretary, “besides, your father and I are used to understanding each other without words. Although ... one word, with your permission, I could say, but not to him, but to you. Despite all the shortcomings that you attribute to him, know that he was a man sometimes tough, often with incomprehensible, even strange quirks, but undoubtedly kind; Also, he loved you.

"Well, well... if I counted correctly, it's not one word, but many more," Stanley muttered, coughing meaningfully: he saw that Julia's eyes were clouded with tears.

The priest read the prayer and closed the breviary. The coffin with the body of Anthony Walsh slowly lowered into the grave. Julia handed her father's secretary a rose, but he returned the flower to her with a smile:

“You first, miss.

The petals scattered as they fell on the wooden lid, followed by three more roses into the grave, and the four who had seen Anthony Walsh on their last journey headed back to the gate. At the far end of the alley, the hearse had already given way to two limousines. Adam took his fiancee by the hand and led her to the car. Julia raised her eyes to the sky.

“Not a single cloud, blue, blue, blue, just blue, and not too hot, not too cold, and not the slightest breath of wind - well, just the perfect day for a wedding!”

“Don't worry, dear, there will be other fine days,” Adam assured her.

“So warm like this one?” Julia exclaimed, spreading her arms wide. - With such an azure sky? With such lush green foliage? With ducks like that on the lake? No, it looks like we'll have to wait until next spring!

“Autumn can be just as beautiful, you can believe me… Since when do you like ducks?”

- They love me! Have you noticed how many of them have just gathered on the pond, next to the grave of your father?

"No, I didn't," Adam replied, a little unnerved by this sudden burst of excitement from his fiancee.

- There were dozens of them ... yes, dozens of ducks, with beautiful ties around their necks; they landed on the water in that very place and sailed away immediately after the ceremony was over. They were mallard ducks, they wanted to attend MY wedding, but instead came to support me at my father's funeral.

“Julia, I hate to argue with you today, but I don't think a mallard has a tie around his neck.

- How do you know! Are you drawing ducks, not me? So, remember: if I say that these mallards have put on a festive outfit, then you must believe me! Julia screamed.

“All right, love, I agree, these mallards, all as one, were in tuxedos, and now let's go home.

Stanley and a private secretary were waiting for them outside the cars. Adam was leading Julia to the car, but she suddenly stopped in front of one of the gravestones on the spacious lawn and read the name and years of life of the one that rested under the stone.

– Did you know her? Adam asked.

This is my grandmother's grave. From now on, all my relatives lie in this cemetery. I am the last of the Walshes. Of course, except for a few hundred uncles, aunts, cousins and cousins, unknown to me, living between Ireland, Brooklyn and Chicago. Adam, excuse me for this recent antics, I really got carried away.

“Oh, nothing, dear; we were supposed to get married, but misfortune happened. You have buried your father and, quite naturally, are heartbroken.

They walked down the alley. Both "Lincolns" were already very close.

“You're right,” Adam said, looking up at the sky in his turn, “the weather is really great today, your father even managed to spoil us in his hour of death.

Julia stopped abruptly and yanked her hand out of Adam's.

- Do not look at me so! Adam pleaded. “You yourself said the same thing at least twenty times after you learned of his death.

- Yes, she did, but I have the right to it - I, not you! Get in that car with Stanley, and I'll take the other one.

- Julia! I am very sorry…

“You may not be sorry, I want to spend this evening alone and sort through the things of my father, who managed to shit on us until his death, as you put it.

“Oh my God, but these are not my words, but yours!” Adam called as he watched Julia get into the car.

- And the last thing, Adam: I want mallard ducks around me on our wedding day, dozens of ducks, do you hear? she added before slamming the door.

The Lincoln disappeared through the cemetery gates. Frustrated, Adam went to the second car and sat in the back, to the right of the personal secretary.

“No, fox terriers are better: they are small, but they bite very painfully,” Stanley concluded, settling himself in front, next to the driver, whom he signaled to drive off.

Toutes ces choses qu "on ne s" est pas dites

www.marclevy.info

LLC Publishing Group Azbuka-Atticus, 2014

Inostranka ® Publishing House

***

Marc Levy is a popular French writer, his books have been translated into 45 languages and sold in huge numbers. His very first novel "Between Heaven and Earth" struck with an extraordinary plot and the power of feelings that can work wonders. And it is no coincidence that the film adaptation rights were immediately acquired by the master of American cinema - Steven Spielberg, and the film was directed by one of the fashionable directors of Hollywood - Mark Waters.

***

There are two ways to look at life:

as if there could be no miracle in the world,

or as if everything in the world is a complete miracle.

Albert Einstein

Dedicated to Pauline and Louis

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