Bride ransom. Full description of the wedding ceremony

One of the most interesting actions at the wedding is the ransom of the bride. However, the attitude of the bride and groom to the ransom is different. Most often, the bride persuades the groom to him, and he violently fights back. If the couple has already decided to hold a ransom, the bride will carefully think over the scenario, and the groom will consider that he will “carry it through” to the last.

Consent to the ransom of the bride

No need to argue to the point of hoarseness - to be or not to be the ransom of the bride. If this is such a problem for your fiancé, try to find out the reasons for this resistance first.

Reasons for refusing to buy the bride and their elimination:

• The groom believes that the ransom of the bride is child's play and only for people to laugh at. Explain to him that the whole wedding will be one big theatrical act in which the bride and groom are the main characters. Often, a wedding requires a lot of emotional stress from the bride and groom. The ransom provides an opportunity to relax a little and fool around.
• Fear of public attention. Unfortunately, even if the bride has lived in this yard and house since childhood, the whole neighborhood will come running to see her. The unnoticed groom will not be allowed to take the bride out of the house by the neighbors. So it’s better to plan a ransom in advance than to get out of a spontaneous one.
• Fear of being wrong. Remind the groom that this part of the wedding is a joke. In addition, you can prepare in advance.
• Dislike of the monetary aspect of bride price. Agree to waive monetary penalties by replacing them with something else
• If the groom does not want to perform certain tasks, just remove them from the script. At one wedding, while preparing a ransom for the bride, I asked the groom: “What are you going to do - ring your heel at the door or kiss the ceiling?” He answered very witty: “I don’t want my fiancee to sew up my pants after the ransom, so I’d better kiss the ceiling!” I took into account his wishes.

We decided together that there will be no ransom - this is your right. Replace the ransom with something else. For example, one familiar groom with friends drove up to the bride's house in Mexican ponchos and huge hats, and sang a serenade under the balcony of his beloved. She threw him a rose from the window, and he went up to the apartment, where he changed into a prepared suit. The meeting of the bride and groom can be very beautifully beaten, the main thing is to approach wisely.

Bride ransom: equipment

Prepare the groom for the bride price in advance. Let them know what you will need to bring with you, otherwise the groom and his friends will look very stupid without having the necessary props.

Advice for brides: Do not come up with impossible tasks for the groom, such as drinking 3 liters of water to get the key, giving your friend a drink of vodka from a shoe so that he cannot get to the registry office, etc. Also, do not demand voluminous and unnecessary things (a huge bouquet for each friends, a five-kilogram head of cheese, etc.).

Having compiled the script for the ransom of the bride, do not forget to mark what needs to be prepared for the test of the groom, think over everything again and pass the list to the groom. Many are more practical - they prepare everything themselves and pass it on at the last moment through someone to the groom. Remember: this is not betrayal, but help. You want that after the ransom, when the groom gets to you, he still looked like a prince.

Advice for grooms: If the bride has provided a list of equipment for ransom, there is no need to discuss it and think: “Why would they need a liter of milk? I can treat everyone with milk later, at a banquet! I wrote - it means I need it! If there is no list of necessary things, the groom must prepare the necessary arsenal himself.

Groom's outfit at the bride price:

• money (fake, real, Soviet, funny with cartoons, more coins);
• alcohol - come in handy if a special test is planned: grandmothers on benches, and talkative neighbors;
• sweets and various sweets, even bagels on a string will go into business;
• memorize a couple of songs and poems about love, ditties will also come in handy;
• remember all the important dates in the life of the bride and her parents;
• look into the dictionary of synonyms - you will need a lot of affectionate and gentle words.

Time for a bride price

The optimal time for redemption is 20-40 minutes. If less, then he may not be remembered at all, and if longer, then everyone can get bored.

Advice for brides: Calculate the time so that before the redemption you are already completely ready to leave. Especially you need to pay attention to this if you do your hair in a hairdresser.

Advice for grooms: They said to come at that much time - come without delay! I know the groom's trick - to arrive 20 minutes before departure to the registry office, so that they let them through to the bride without trials. Cheat, but offend the bridesmaids, and the bride herself - they were preparing! The same is true and vice versa - do not come an hour before the redemption. While the bride is not dressed, they will not let you in anyway. It is best to inform the bride about this when leaving and arrive on time.

Read more coming soon...

The tradition of bride price has ancient roots. In the modern world, this is more of a comic ceremony, but once in Russia it was a serious event, without which not a single wedding would have taken place.

What is it?

The task of the ransom of the bride is to thank the father-in-law and mother-in-law. Their daughter left the house and went to live with her husband forever, so he was obliged to “pay” her parents. The wealthier the man was, the more were the "farms". It was also a reliability test. If a person was serious and could already support a family, then it was not difficult for him to “buy out” the bride.

Today, the "ransom" of the bride is understood as holding certain competitions. His task is mainly to cheer up the guests before going to the registry office. And also to relax the bride and groom, as this day is especially exciting for them.

Many couples do not know whether to hold a buyout. It seems to some that this procedure is a relic of the past, a vulgarity and a farce. Some brides find that it takes time to prepare: manicure, hair, makeup, dress, and so on. In fact, only a couple decides how to conduct a wedding. But look at the ransom as a good and fun pastime. Whether it's boring or not is up to you. So instead of real money, you can use souvenir or coins.

In general, the ransom of the bride takes place according to the standard scheme. The future wife sits at home surrounded by her friends with her parents. The groom comes with his friends. At this time, the bridesmaids close the entrance to the bride's house and force the future husband to perform various tasks: pass contests, sing songs, guess riddles. But for each successfully completed task, the groom must pay: alcohol, money, food, sweets, and so on.

If the future spouse is not particularly successful in his work, then the girlfriends take the bride out, covered with a shawl or veil. As a rule, under it is usually another woman or even a man. Don't take it seriously, it's more of a joke.

Traditions

There are a number of traditions. So it is believed that if the groom can steal the bride's shoe, then he can give his future wife without ransom. The parents of a girl or her friend may offer to buy a "braid of the bride." According to legend, it is in her that the beauty of a woman is preserved and therefore she is very valuable.

As soon as the ransom is made, the groom is obliged to hand over the bouquet to the bride and she must carry it through the entire wedding ceremony, and then throw it into the crowd of girlfriends. In turn, the bride pins a flower or boutonniere on her husband's jacket.

Signs

There are signs associated with the ransom of the bride. So if the groom, crossing the threshold of his beloved’s apartment, stumbles, then one of those present will also soon get married. The shoes of the bride are also important. They should be without fasteners, then the woman's childbirth will be easy. In turn, a closed toe and heel lead to prosperity in the family. It is important that the bride's shoes are not new. This will help avoid blisters and also lead to a long and happy marriage. For the same purpose, the groom can kiss his bride only once, at the moment of presenting the bouquet. The next one is only at the end of the ceremony at the registry office.

There are many signs. So, for example, during the ransom, the bride should cry at least a little, so she will be happy in marriage. If the groom used a handkerchief during the "tests", then it must be thrown away. Otherwise, the future wife in marriage will constantly cry.

It is up to the spouses to decide whether to carry out the ransom of the bride. It is important not to think that this is a farce and a relic of the past. You can come up with a unique scenario, interesting contests and stock up on humorous poems. Then your wedding will be remembered for a long time.

Traditionally, the wedding begins with the ransom of the bride. It is held before the groom meets the bride on the day of the celebration. This ceremony is one of the unchanging traditions that accompany the wedding. It has deep roots. In ancient times, in order to take away a girl who was the first assistant in the house, one had to give something in return.

The groom tried to cover the inconvenience that would arise due to the girl leaving the house, giving valuables, cattle and other gifts in return. In our time, this rite takes place symbolically, and its task is not to bargain for money, but to give fervor, fun to the event. Let us consider in more detail how to redeem the bride, what the groom and witnesses should do, so that everyone is satisfied and the procedure does not drag on.

Often witnesses are involved in organizing the ransom of the bride. But the main part still falls on the bridesmaid.

Some couples turn to the toastmaster for help, who can develop a script for competitions and other nuances. The ransom rite consists of a series of contests and tasks for the groom and the witness.

All questions relate to the hero of the occasion. If the groom cannot answer any of them, then he must pay a certain amount or present champagne, sweets, etc.

In some cases, the redemption process can be divided into several stages:

1. Even on the road, distant relatives and neighbors can meet the groom and demand to pay for the opportunity to travel and name the bride.
2. In the yard of the groom, close friends of the young are waiting.
3. Immediately before entering the bride's room, the tests are arranged by the witness and girlfriends.
4. The task of the groom with a witness is not to deprive anyone and make some kind of payment.

The main task of all participants in the ransom ceremony is not to delay the process. Otherwise, you may be late for registration.

How to behave to girlfriends

The task of the bridesmaids is to turn the traditional groom’s bride price into a fun, well-organized event. It is better not to use poems at this stage of the celebration; make a speech in prose with appropriate funny jokes. To do this, follow certain rules:

1. You should not force the groom and the witness to perform not very pleasant tasks. For example, eat a pood of salt or drink water with lemon. Competitions must be neutral and realistically feasible. Otherwise, you risk spoiling the mood of the groom at the beginning of the wedding.
2. It should be remembered that the event is calculated for only 15-30 minutes at most.
3. Try to calculate the time so that a certain period of time remains between the ransom and the trip to the registry office.
4. Tasks are chosen so that when they are completed by the groom, the guests can see what is happening, and the photographer can take beautiful photos.
5. When using pictures in contests, their angle should be large.
6. When using rhyming jokes and jokes, they must be read expressively and without hesitation.
7. In the event that the number of guests at the wedding is impressive, you should not invite everyone to the ransom. There will be enough witnesses, girlfriends, friends, close relatives.
8. It is necessary to prepare for the ceremony in advance. Place posters and other attributes.
9. Properly distribute responsibilities so that no one gets bored.

What to do and say to mother, sister, brother of the bride

For the parents of the bride, there are many trials on the wedding day. It is in their house that the ransom of the bride takes place and the house is full of guests. Worries begin with the bride's attire. Her mother and friends can help her.

Then the parents meet the guests after the ransom, escort them to the room where the buffet table is organized. Serving it is the task of the mother of the bride, who is helped by the bridesmaids. Treating guests with champagne is the task of witnesses. Traditionally, parents do not take part in the ransom ceremony.

But if the bride has younger sisters or brothers, then they can actively bargain for her with the groom. Girlfriends provide for this in the script. The main task of parents after the completion of the ransom before going to the registry office is the blessing of the young. Before the beginning of the ceremony, guests are asked to go outside, where they form a kind of living corridor.

After the bride and groom are blessed, they go outside, and the girl's mother showers the newlyweds with wheat seeds, coins and sweets for their rich, full and sweet future life.

What to say to the matchmaker from the side of the groom

In ancient times, matchmaking began with certain words: “You have goods, we have a merchant,” and so on. The young people involved in the ransom should not include them in the script.

But if the task is to conduct a ceremony in the old Russian style, then this role is performed by the matchmaker on the part of the groom. It is she who begins the redemption process.

The bottom line is to present the purpose of their arrival and praise the merits of the groom.

How to behave to the groom and his friends

The ransom scenario is worked out in advance, and the bridesmaids must think over the behavior of the groom in advance. In any case, it must be prepared if the groom needs to say any words during the bidding process.

Basically, various tests are prepared for the groom, and he, in turn, performs them and answers questions in monosyllables. You can deal with this without much difficulty. The beginning of the auction is started by the organizers, the matchmaker from the groom's side can participate.

When asked by girlfriends why the groom came to them, the young man can simply answer in monosyllables “For the bride!”. It is difficult for the groom to prepare for the ransom directly, since he often does not know the scenario in advance. The witness can only partially acquaint him with individual moments. Therefore, the young man has to improvise on the go.

And since basically all questions relate to the bride, it is necessary to ask her in advance some moments from her childhood, shoe size, favorite lipstick color, and so on.

Let's present a list of the main areas that the groom may encounter at the ransom:

1. Prove your love. Here you can prepare a romantic story about the love of the newlyweds to make your girlfriends feel emotional.
2. Present your strengths. Usually this is the answer to the question of what the groom is ready to provide the bride in the future.. Here you have to praise yourself, and try not to laugh. To facilitate the task, this can be done by a witness.
3. How the groom will spend time with the bride during their marriage. In this regard, the groom proves that the bride will not be bored with him. And you can prove it by performing any song or dance.
4. Important dates. Here you have to prepare seriously, as they will ask not only about the day they met, but also about the first day of the first kiss, the first trip to the cinema, and so on. Usually men do not pay attention to such trifles.
5. The bride is the best and unique. In this direction, you need to collect a list of affectionate and tender words about your beloved.

Since the groom arrives not alone, but with a retinue of friends and close relatives, it is necessary to think in advance what to say to them.

Firstly, they can actively participate in the auction, but not allow themselves too much.

Secondly, to help the groom, suggest the right words, ideas for completing the task. The main assistant of the groom at the wedding is a witness. He can actively answer questions and even replace him in the performance of any competitions.

Usually the groom is lost from excitement, so the witness must always be ready to come to the rescue of a friend. And if the girlfriends play too much and demand an exorbitant price for the ransom, then the witness can actively bargain and bring down the price.

The ransom ceremony will be a great success if it is performed in any style or timed to coincide with a specific theme.

How to meet the groom - what to put on the table

As already mentioned, after the ransom is completed, the bride's parents invite guests to a buffet table.

This tradition is connected mainly with the fact that there is still a long process ahead, consisting of marriage and a photo shoot.

Sandwiches and small canapes are placed on the table so that they fit entirely in the mouth. Since the photographer is working all the time and a set table can get into the photo lens, it is necessary to think over the technique of decorating dishes in advance, remove unnecessary interior items.

A large amount of alcohol on the buffet table is inappropriate. It is enough to organize champagne, which will cheer up a little and liberate the guests.

Here is another version of the scenario for the ransom of the bride:

The rite of redemption of the bride is a traditional wedding procedure, but, nevertheless, not all newlyweds consider it appropriate. This is explained by the fact that not all guests behave adequately during competitions and auctions, sometimes forcing the groom to perform unrealistic things. It is believed that the ransom can be replaced, for example, with a beautiful meeting of the bride and groom. In your opinion, is it worth paying tribute to traditions or still introducing new creative ideas into the wedding scenario?

You need to go out beautifully!

A happy groom can carry his future wife in his arms. Young people can go out together, holding hands tightly. According to an old Russian custom, a mother can tie the hands of the young with a handkerchief and lead them out of the door. You can offer the groom to pick up one corner of the scarf, the bride - the other, and for the remaining two, the bride's parents take the young people out of the threshold. You can spread a fur coat at the threshold as a symbol of well-being and prosperity in the future family. You can organize a lively corridor from among the guests and escort the young to the car with applause.

Wedding sieve, or sprinkling for good luck

The mother of the bride at the entrance to the house should put a wedding sieve, so that on the way back after the ransom of the bride, before seeing off the newlyweds to the registry office, do not forget to strew the road with coins, sweets, hops, rose petals for the young.

You can buy a sieve ready-made along with its contents, or you can decorate it yourself with tulle, organza, ribbons, flowers, beads, stickers, beads, etc.

It will look nice if each coin is wrapped in colored foil. A semblance of motley money confetti is created. You can tie each coin in a knot of tulle or organza, tied with a colorful floral ribbon. Do not forget to twist the ends of the tape into chips using the sharp edge of the scissors. Wedding confetti, which is purchased separately, will be an original accompaniment to wedding coins. Hops can be replaced with rose petals (live or artificial), small flowers. You can add grain, wheat - it depends on local traditions.

Sweets can be fancy too. It is only necessary to show your imagination. For example: each candy is wrapped in corrugated paper and tied with colored ribbons on both sides, nuts are wrapped in foil, candied fruit - in gift wrapping paper and tied in a bundle with a ribbon.

Hops can be used fresh or dry. If you decide to prepare the hops in advance, then it is recommended to dry in a dark, warm, dry and well-ventilated area. Then the hop cones retain their juicy green color, fragrant smell and do not disintegrate.

Duties of a matchmaker

During the ransom, the matchmaker does not stand empty-handed. Her task is to accept everything that is offered for the bride. A large wallet looks fun, which can be sewn in advance or adapted for this purpose a suitable leather briefcase, a suitcase on which “WALLET” is written in large letters. It is possible to adapt a cart on wheels for this purpose, counting on a huge ransom. You can just take a basket or a colorfully prepared bag with the inscription "For big money." A large piggy bank made from a cardboard box with the inscription “Good money” is also a good fit.

During the ransom, the matchmaker, together with the host and guests, arranges tests for the groom.

Her task is to take a large ransom from the groom's retinue in order to take a place next to the bride.

After the ransom, before going to the registry office, matchmakers should not forget bags with treats: alcoholic and sweet drinks, light snacks, wedding cones and sweets. Don't forget to put disposable cups, a few plates and napkins.

Test program

As soon as the bride's relatives hear car signals, all the guests, led by the matchmakers and the ransom leader, must meet them.

Before the first satin ribbon tied in a bow, the host addresses the groom's retinue:

The bride entrusted us
Right here in this place
Meet dear guests!
Come on, matchmaker, pour us a drink!

Refers to the matchmaker from the side of the groom.

And you, matchmaker, why are you quiet? Show us who the groom is!

The matchmaker points to the groom. He may not do it right away. For fun, you can point first to a friend, then to other young guys. And, finally, on the culprit of the wedding.

The groom is allowed to untie the first ribbon and go to the next one.

Before the second tape: We need such a groom. He will be a good husband!

Accompanying must praise the groom.

He knows everything, he knows everything! What happens in pockets?

The groom must answer.

Show us, finally, What are you going down the aisle with!

The groom must show the contents of his pockets. For fun, you can show the contents in the pockets of a friend.

Yes! There is something in the pockets! Father-in-law would appreciate this!

The groom is allowed to untie the ribbon.

Before the third tape: But now, I'll put it simply, Surprise your mother-in-law! Show us, my friend, how your kettle cooks!

In advance, you need to prepare items that are found in everyday life. Color the box. Put any items in it. Hammer, clothespin, spool of thread, thimble, screw, bolt, nut, dishwashing sponge, brush, canning machine, watering can, etc.

The groom with his eyes closed, by touch, must guess what he took out of the box.

Your mother-in-law will be happy.
A smart son-in-law - why not a reward ?!

The groom is allowed to untie the ribbon again and go to the next one.

Before the fourth tape:

Now show us
How can you make money.
Here's a piece of wood for you.
Look for coins in your pockets.
But buy this hammer from us.

The groom buys a hammer.

Now you have to use a hammer to drive coins into a wooden block with an edge.

The groom does the job.

Well! Your hands are growing out of the right place.

Unties the tape and goes to the next one.

Before the fifth tape:

And now ... (name the groom)
Show me your legs!
Yes, dance to us from the heart!
Feel free to stomp our feet! And now, my friend, another!
Ay yes ukraine, ah yes grip! You will be married soon!
To get to his wife now, You need to try very hard.
Don't be silent here now, Shout the name of your dear!
Now shout, don't melt...
(say the bride's name) I love you!

Unties the fifth ribbon and moves on to the sixth.

Before the sixth tape:

Do you love your (bride's name)?

The groom answers.

Will you buy a present for her?

The groom agrees.

Matchmakers offer the groom to buy a balloon with the inscription "I love you" for the bride as a gift.

The purchased ball is a pass to the next tape. The groom unties the sixth ribbon and moves on to the seventh.

At the seventh tape:

Now show me how strong your feelings are. Tie the wedding ribbon on the balloon as tightly as you like.

The tape is also offered to buy.

I see the feelings are hot!
You tied up from the heart!
As you get to the bride, you will give her a gift!
Will it be like this?
Why are you silent?

The groom agrees and unties the seventh ribbon.

Now the groom needs to get into the house or apartment. To open the door, he is again challenged:

And now, our dear fiance, we will test your passion!

Here are the colored caps. Guess under which of them the key is hidden. Guess it - go ahead, pay for the mistake!

The groom tries to guess. As soon as the cherished key is found, the door is opened for the guests. But it is not possible to get into the bride's room immediately again.

There are more tasks to complete. For example, put coins into the bride's treasured piggy bank, treat the smallest guests with sweets or give toys, tie handkerchiefs to grandmothers. Finally, the groom is allowed to go to the table where the bride is sitting. Here auctions are arranged by sisters, brothers, nephews, a witness. As soon as they receive the ransom and are satisfied, the boyfriend gives up his place to the groom. The groom goes to his seat. He hands the bride a bouquet, kisses his beloved and opens champagne to treat all the guests. A witness hands a bouquet to a friend. The mother of the bride is presented with a bouquet by the father of the groom, and the mother of the groom is presented with a bouquet by the father of the bride. After that, the young accept the first congratulations.

You can invite guests to the buffet table, which is set in advance.

Before leaving for the registry office, parents bless their children.

Finally, the bride's parents take the young people out of the house, strewn the road to the car with the contents of the wedding sieve.

After registration, the groom's parents will have to meet the newlyweds at the doorstep of their house with bread and salt.

After the wedding walk, a festive feast begins.

At today's weddings, the ransom of the bride is a comic action, part of the script, which, if desired, can be completely abandoned. However, in the Slavic tradition, a potential groom who was not ready to pay a ransom for his betrothed should not have counted on the consent of the bride herself, and even more so of her relatives. And the point here is not at all the greed of the future mother-in-law and father-in-law, but the fact that the ransom from time immemorial had a special symbolism.

In ancient chronicles, the term "veno" is mentioned, which was endowed with several meanings at once: this is the ransom paid to the community, and the so-called table money (those that the groom literally put on the table to the bride's father, asking for her hands), and the girl's dowry. In a word, commodity-money relations in those days were complex, confusing, and it was not so easy to figure out who owed what and to whom.

The fact, however, remains a fact: a wedding ransom in Russia has been an integral part of the entire ceremony since ancient times. Later, however, this procedure lost its seriousness and acquired game features: a matchmaker or friends began to be involved in the ransom, and he himself became symbolic in many respects. True, with the mercantile component of the ransom receding into the background, it turned into a real test of the groom for stress resistance, resourcefulness and ingenuity.

The bride had to be bought everywhere. The first obstacle met the future husband at the entrance to the bride's house, and if he was from another village, then even earlier - at the entrance to the village, where kind villagers were impatiently waiting for the protagonist of the day, having prepared many trials for him (as a rule, these were riddles mixed with demands to sing and dance). The second obstacle is in the bride's house: the bridesmaids who helped the girl get ready for the wedding had to be generously presented.

The matter did not end there: the bride had to be found among several young ladies, covered with identical scarves. It was not so easy to get to the church: the road to the wedding train was blocked with ribbons, and more often with a log, which the future husband had to saw, demonstrating his strength. You also had to pay for the opportunity to invite your young wife to the first dance, for a place next to her at the festive table, for the wedding night. Moreover, not only the bride herself, but also some of her, let's say, components, for example, a braid or a wreath as symbols of girlhood, were subject to a "fee".

If the Slavic suitors had to suffer mainly morally, then the inhabitants of Islamic countries paid (and often still pay) kalym - a completely material ransom, which is considered both a gift from the groom to the future wife (the so-called mahr), and compensation to her family for the loss of a worker. In a word, grooms at all times from the very beginning of family life had a hard time.

Modern traditions

Today, the ransom of the bride is a ceremony that is valuable not so much for the opportunity to receive some material payment from the groom (which is usually symbolic), but for its very existence, observance of traditions and the fact that it is one of the most fun episodes of the holiday. From time immemorial, the main participant in the rite was not even the groom himself, but a friend (the prototype of a modern witness): it was he who gave the ransom, helped the groom to pass the trials with honor. In fact, this tradition has survived to this day. Just like a hundred years ago, so today, redemption is impossible without the active help of both the witness and the groom’s friends, who must be prepared for the fact that they will have to be “on the hook” throughout the entire event, because the future husband may lose his eloquence from excitement.

Well, the main part of the work on preparing and conducting the ransom falls on the shoulders of the witness and bridesmaids, who come up with and conduct tests for the groom at the stage of "approach" to the beloved's house. Among the obstacles there can be quite harmless ones - for example, he must recognize the chosen one from children's photographs, come up with affectionate epithets for her (for example, by the number of steps in a flight of stairs), choose a key to her room (options - an imprint of her lips) from several proposed and other similar . Tests can also be a test of the ingenuity and ingenuity of the future husband - for example, in three glasses he must put something that rings, splashes and rustles, or composes a "identikit" of his chosen one from images of individual parts of her face.

The listed competitions are the most standard, used on almost every holiday. Of course, they are not mandatory, and imagination and creativity are only welcome. For example, a variant of the "guessing game" may be the recognition by the groom of a silk ribbon, the length of which corresponds to the height of the bride or the volume of her waist. Well, the path to the house of the betrothed can be turned into a mini-quest, when the groom overcomes the route, at the end of which his beloved is waiting for him.

However, there are options for real thrill-seekers. For example, the groom may be asked to storm the bride's balcony (in the event that she lives on the first floor or in her own house) or become a "prince on a white horse" by reaching her house in a non-standard wedding vehicle (say, a bicycle, scooter or roller skates). However, the appearance of a real white horse (of course, with the main character sitting on it) is also a very unexpected idea, which will certainly be met with a storm of enthusiasm.

Do you want the ransom to be not so much fun as romantic and touching? Let the groom take the bride not from his father's house, but from some specific place that means a lot to both of them: for example, from a park where they like to walk or where their first date took place. Well, instead of contests, let him, in the presence of guests, once again offer the girl a hand and a heart.

By the way, in our time, marked by the stamp of emancipation, the “backward ransom” is gaining popularity: “macho qualities” are demonstrated by the bride, who in this way, probably, asserts herself as the head of the family and future breadwinner. This topic (who is the boss in the house), of course, is original, but, frankly, quite delicate, it can become humiliating for the groom and incomprehensible to the guests. Therefore, in the case of such a scenario, all the details must be thought out with special care and attention so that all those present (including the older generation, supporters of patriarchal traditions) understand that this is just a joke, but not a demonstration of a change in gender roles.

Thematic ransom

If the whole wedding is dedicated to a certain theme, then the ransom, of course, should be non-standard. As an example, let's name the possible elements of some such scenarios:
- Wedding in the Russian style: the arrival of the groom to the bride's house on a troika with bells (in winter - on a sleigh); "live music" performed by an accordionist; decorating the entrance with towels; folk costumes of bridesmaids; divination on chamomile; tests to test the "heroic strength" of the groom.
- Gangster wedding. The theme of the ransom is the release of the bride from the hands of the mafia; as contests - card games (this, of course, is not about preference or poker, but, for example, about completing tasks depending on the suit or value of the card pulled out of the deck), guessing the cipher of the safe; as payment - dollars (printed out on a printer).
- Pirate wedding. The theme of the ransom is the search for a treasure or a sea pearl; contests with the use of a rope, a pirate hat, a "black mark", an old map as props; ransom - gold coins (toy or chocolate medals in gold foil).
- Wedding in the style of "Alice in Wonderland". The theme of the ransom is a game of chess, the passage of the groom through black and white cells; as competitions - tests offered by the March Hare and the Hatter, the battle of the groom (White Knight) with the Black Knight; as payment - chess pieces made of black and white chocolate.
- Knight's wedding. The theme of the ransom is a jousting tournament for the hand and heart of a beautiful princess. As competitions - a demonstration of artistic and poetic talents, a declaration of love, archery (or darts), playing musical instruments (including toys), performing a serenade.

How much is the bride

Most often, the groom gives money to restless bridesmaids and relatives of the bride (unless otherwise provided by the scenario) - the amount is generally small, symbolic, in small bills and coins. Who gets them is a question that should be discussed with the young in advance. Perhaps the "cash desk" will be taken away by the girlfriends, who, in fact, are torturing the groom for this. However, it is possible that the money will return to the young; bridesmaids will receive not a material reward, but something more valuable - pleasure, the joy of the bride, the good mood of all those present.

In addition, the amount of the ransom is discussed "on the shore" so as not to put the groom in an awkward position due to a lack of money in his pockets. Of course, you should always keep in mind the possibility of impromptu, so the future husband can be announced not a specific figure, but a range (from minimum to maximum).

Money may not be real, but made specifically for the holiday; it is not difficult to buy wedding souvenir banknotes today. In addition, the bridesmaids can give the young a pleasant surprise by ordering the production of nominal money - for example, issued by the "Bank of Family Happiness", which will be indicated by the inscriptions on them, and decorated with portraits of the groom.

Another common option is "liquid currency" (champagne, wine or stronger drinks), coupled with a light snack - sweets, cakes, cookies, fruits. In this case, the answer to the question of who gets these goodies is probably obvious - they are taken by those who conduct the ceremony in order to remember its most interesting and successful moments after the wedding in a warm company.

Helpful Hints

Do not forget that the ransom of the bride is a comic procedure that cheers up the guests and sets the tone for the holiday. In order for it to please both the young themselves and everyone who is present at their wedding, we recommend that you remember some subtleties.

For those who organize and conduct the ransom (bride's side):
- Traditionally, the ransom of the bride is prepared by the witness, but if for some reason (for example, due to natural modesty) she is not ready to perform the ceremony, there is nothing wrong with entrusting it to another girlfriend.
- There is no need to delay the ceremony, because the main celebration is yet to come. 15-20 minutes is probably the optimal duration.
- If you are using a ready-made ransom script written in verse, it is better to paraphrase it into prose. It may not be so original, but the witness will not have to memorize a long text or read it from a piece of paper (which looks more than unnatural).
- When thinking through the scenario, remember that the groom is the main character of the event, but not the only one. Don't forget about the rest of the people present; pay attention to them, offering one way or another to take part in competitions.
- Obstacles for the groom may be different; the main thing is that they do not put him in an awkward position: for example, if he cannot sing, exclude tests that involve performing a serenade. Moreover, it is better to discuss the competitions in advance (of course, only in general terms, so as not to lose the charm of improvisation), if not with the groom himself, but with his friends, in order to give him the opportunity to show his best qualities with the help of a well-thought-out scenario.
- The spoiled mood of the future husband is not the only unpleasant consequence of a poorly thought out and organized ransom. Tasks should not be dangerous for both health and for the suit, shoes, hairstyle and general appearance of the groom.
- Warn the groom and the witness in advance what kind of ransom is expected according to the scenario - money, sweets, wine, flowers, some thematic game "payment units" (which we wrote about above) and so on.
- Whatever the plot is chosen, it is worth thinking about the variety of competitions: intellectual tasks should alternate with physical ones so that the guests do not get bored.
- If you need a "handout" for the contests (for example, numbers and letters made of paper, pictures, etc.), make it large enough so that everyone present can see the props without effort.

For those who are directly involved in the ransom (groom's side):
- Think of the ceremony not as an ordeal, but as a game and an opportunity to relax and have fun before the wedding ceremony.
- Try to smile more - it always has and sets you in a positive mood, even if not all tasks can be completed with dignity.
- Responsible for assistance during the ransom procedure, "appoint" not so much the closest, but the most cheerful and witty friend who can come to the rescue in case of any hitch.
- Prepare for the ceremony in advance: remember important dates (including the birthdays of future relatives), try drinking salty and sweet water.
- If the scenario involves a cash ransom, it is worth changing the banknotes to smaller ones in advance; if "natural" - prepare wine, sweets, fruits.

For those who believe in omens

You can believe in omens or not, follow them or ignore them; be that as it may, it is at least interesting to know the numerous folk signs that accompany every important event in a person’s life. For example, it is believed that if the bride, after the ransom, slightly pulls the tablecloth spread on the table, then soon her sister will get married. Another wedding in the family (however, this time it is not known exactly whose it is) will be in the event that the groom, crossing the threshold of the bride's house, stumbles.

The bride should also pay attention to the shoes that she will wear during the ceremony. Shoes with a closed toe and heel promise prosperity to a young family, and the absence of fasteners guarantees an easy birth. Moreover, for the ransom period, you need to put coins (preferably copper) in the shoes; this is again considered an omen of a wealthy life. The groom is also advised to think over the details of his appearance. So, if during the ransom process he has a handkerchief with him, then it is strictly forbidden to take it to the registration ceremony so that the life of a young family is not filled with tears.

The moment when the groom, having passed all the tests, gets the right to see the bride is also considered special. From this moment until the very registration of marriage, no one should adjust the clothes for young people, especially strangers. Moreover, leaving the house with the bride, the groom should not look back, so that after marriage there would be no desire to return to a free single life. Well, parents and bridesmaids are forbidden to wash the threshold of the house after the young people went to the registry office - so that the bride does not return here again. But secretly from others (if it is, of course, possible) it is not forbidden to eat one chocolate bar for two - this delicacy serves as a guarantee of a sweet life.

This issue is discussed in more detail in the article "Wedding signs and superstitions - should they be given importance?"

Buyback alternative

The ransom of the bride is an action, although traditional and generally accepted, but not at all obligatory. If the couple wants to be original; if the very fact of making a certain payment for the bride (albeit in a comic form) seems unacceptable; if there is not enough space in the apartment, and the entrance can hardly be called festive and elegant, it is quite possible to refuse the ransom, replacing it with pleasant and romantic ceremonies.

For example, the groom can meet the bride at the door of her house, laying out a path of rose petals. Or, by sending a letter with a messenger, make an appointment with your beloved in a romantic place, from where the couple will go to register the marriage. Climbing up to the bride's window on the boom of a fire engine is a rather extreme decision, but the effect will be unforgettable (in large cities, such equipment with the necessary equipment is rented).

Be that as it may, a wedding is a holiday primarily for the bride and groom. And if the ransom does not fit into their concept of an ideal holiday, or if it does not correspond to the theme of the celebration, feel free to refuse it or turn on your imagination, coming up with beautiful, romantic surprises for your chosen ones.