Interesting skits on March 8 for high school students. Sample questions for the “Men Expert” competition

Martha is intended specifically for modern high school students, and is written in their slang, so when you stage it, you do not need to replace the “wrong” words with the correct ones. Before the start of the holiday, attach signs (leaflets) with numbers to the chairs and seats in the hall where spectators will sit. This will be useful for the lottery.

2 presenters come out. They are dressed as usual (not festively).

Presenter 1 (reads in the form of a turnip):
Hello Stas,
Do you want me to tell you a story?
About how in the modern world,
We have forgotten about previous values!

Presenter 2 (as well as presenter 1 raps):
Diman, I don’t understand you,
But I pay close attention
What kind of values ​​are these?
Which ones have you forgotten?

Presenter 1:
Look closely, Stas,
And delve into the circumstances!

The presenters leave.

2 guys come out. Which go towards each other. Both have phones and are doing something. They walk without raising their eyes and collide with each other.

1 guy:
Watch where you're going! (raises his head) Oh, Mich, what are you doing? Healthy.

2nd guy:
Hey, Kolyan!

They stand next to each other and put their phones in their pockets. They stand silently for a minute, looking around.

1 guy:
How are you doing?

2 presenter:
There’s something I don’t understand, Diman
Maybe I'm missing something?

1 presenter:
Stas, are you completely blind?
There is no communication between them!

2 presenter:
So what's the big deal?
Why is there no conversation between them?

1 presenter:
Okay, don't interrupt,
Keep watching!

2nd guy:
By the way, I completed Diablo (here you can name any popular computer game) to end!

1 guy:
Come on? And what's there at the end?

2 guy opens his mouth to start telling how the girl comes out. And both guys fall silent. A girl passes by.

1 guy:
Hello Lenka!

The girl looks at the guys with a dissatisfied look, “grunts” and leaves.

2nd guy:
What is she?

1 guy:
Yes, I was offended.

2nd guy:
For what?

1 guy:
Who the hell knows! You won't understand these girls!

2nd guy:
You may have offended her.

1 guy:
Yes, when? I haven’t gone outside for a week now, I’m always on the computer.

2nd guy:
Likewise.

The guys freeze again. The presenters come out again. Presenter 2 is typing something on the phone.

1 presenter:
Do you understand now?
Do you delve into anything at all?

2 presenter (looking up from the phone):
Sorry Diman, just a minute,
I'm tweeting something right now!

1 presenter slaps himself on the head. And he leaves.

2 presenter:
I'm done. Hey Diman,
Continue your novel!

1 presenter:
Well, in general, you are Stas!
Not a novel, but a story!

The presenters leave, the guys “come to life”

1 guy:
Listen, Mich, it seems to me that there is someone else here! Don't you think so?

2nd guy:
Yeah, it seems!

The guys look around.

2nd guy:
So, why was Lenka offended after all?

1 guy:
I tell you “I don’t know”! I need to ask Katyukha in contact!

2nd guy:
Let's.

1 guy takes out his phone and types something on it. Then a sound is heard (like notifications in contact), the guy reads:
Look at the calendar.

2nd guy:
What?

1 guy:
Look at the calendar, I wrote. Where can I get a calendar?

2nd guy:
So look on your phone!

1 guy:
Exactly!

1 guy looks at the phone, 2 guy also looks at his phone.

The guys freeze again, the 2nd presenter runs out.

2 presenter:
Diman! Diman!
Well, what's there?
What did you find in the calendar?
Why did they say
"Damn!"?

1 presenter:
And look for yourself,
And then tell me!

Here you can take out a “telephone calendar” drawn on whatman paper; there should be the month of March and the number 8 highlighted in red.

2 presenter:
Damn!
I'm in trouble!!
How could I forget?
It was necessary to score during the holidays!

Here the guys suddenly “come to life”

1 guy:
Who are you anyway?

2nd guy:
And how did you end up here?

1 presenter:
We came from afar
To help you correct your mistakes!

1 guy:
Why are you saying this in poetry? Is it normal that you can’t say?

2nd guy:
And in general, we don’t need helpers! We can handle it ourselves! (pushes the 1st guy in the side with his elbow)

1 presenter:
Oh well!

The guys leave.

2 presenter:
Listen, Diman, why are you and I, and it’s true that we either read rap or chat in poetry! Here we go again!

1 presenter:
Yes, I don’t even know, Stas!

The 3rd presenter (girl) comes out.

3rd presenter:
You guys can’t do anything without us! She asked to start a holiday in honor of the international women's day- March 8th, what about you?

2 presenter:
What are we?

3rd presenter:
Not “WHAT”, but what! What kind of slang do you have anyway? We have a women's holiday here, you understand?! And you: “Diman”, “get into it”! how should they even understand you!!

1 presenter:
Don't get angry Light.

3rd presenter:
Boiling?!! Here we go again!! You'll ruin the whole holiday!!!

The girl presenter runs away.

1 presenter:
Need to do something.

2 presenter:
It is necessary, but what?

Both emcees walk back and forth across the stage, deep in thought.

1 presenter:
Invented!

2 presenter:
What?

1 presenter whispers something in the ear of the 2nd presenter, then they both simultaneously nod their heads and leave.

Solemn music is playing. The presenters appear in suits.

1 presenter:
Beautiful, sweet girls!
Our smart girls are beautiful!

2 presenter:
Today we congratulate you,
We wish you good study!

1 presenter:
Be the most beautiful
Or better yet, the happiest!

Here you can make flower petals from colorful foil or buy petals or confetti, and at the end of the phrase, both presenters throw petals into the hall.

1 presenter:
And for you now,
We'll sing a romance.

A romance is being performed.

2 presenter:
And now congratulations listen,
From our director the best!

Congratulation director. If the director is a woman, then at the end of her speech, the presenters also congratulate the director and give her a gift.

1 presenter:
You are our dear classmates,
And we haven’t forgotten your gifts!

2 presenter:
We'll just hand them to you in class,
In the meantime, let's watch the dance!

A dance is being performed.

1 presenter:
Now let's go with you
We will play interesting games.

You can hold competitions here. At the end of the competitions, the leading girl comes out.

Female presenter:
We have also prepared the following entertainment for you! It's a "lucky number" lottery! and a festive disco!

Next is the “Lucky Number” lottery. First, 8 are taken out of the bag or drum one by one. numbers (the main thing is that the numbers 8 was not there), and those who sit on chairs with these numbers are awarded prizes. And then the one who sits in the seat with the number 8 receives a separate prize.
Then all the girls and women are given flowers (one rose is possible, if there are not enough funds, then only female teachers are allowed).
In the end everything characters go on stage and say together:

"TV for Ladies"

Three people enter the hall (1,2 presenters and a young man - HE)
1 Ved.- Disgrace! It's impossible to work with you!

2 Ved.- Nothing is ready again! Where are the reports, photographs, poems, congratulations?!
HE: Yes, I think I was preparing….
1 Ved.- Only once a year you are tasked with preparing congratulations for women. And you?
HE: Well, I…
2 Ved.- Where is everyone? Where are the poems, humor, songs? Where?
(HE is silent, looking guiltily at the floor)
1 Ved.- Where is your professionalism? Where are your abilities? And even on this day we have to do everything ourselves! Go away, and don’t let my eyes see you!
HE: Me personally?
1 Ved.- Yes you!
HE: Fine! (leaves)
1 Ved.- Well, I thought that at least on this day I would sit at home in front of the TV and accept congratulations. 2 Ved.- Let's do that! (addressing the audience) Hello, dear guests! Outside is young March, and the entire beautiful half of humanity is awaiting the approach of the first spring holiday - a holiday of tenderness, beauty and warmth. On this wonderful day, all grandmothers, mothers, girls, girls expect congratulations, flowers and gifts from men. And we invite you to go through the television channels and find out what awaits us on this festive evening.

1 Ved.- Do you know that already in Ancient Rome there was a women’s day, which was celebrated freely born women married. They worshiped the guardian of the hearth - the goddess Vesta. Even slaves rested on this day and received gifts! 2 Ved. – Indeed, the history of the world’s most tender holiday is deeply political. The initiator of the International Women's Day was Clara Zetkin. 1 Ved. - Wait! Why tell us if we can get acquainted with the history of the holiday on the Culture channel.

(presentation “Women of the world is the world!” is included))

(readers come out: 2 young men; with candles, 1 young man and 3 girls)

1 young man– The very first historical event associated with women’s attempt to declare their rights was the protest march of New York textile workers on March 8, 1857. Low wages and poor working conditions have pushed women around the world to stand up for their rights. Already in 1909 The Socialist Party of America has designated the last Sunday in February as National Women's Day. In 1910 On the second International conference Socialist women in Copenhagen Clara Zetkin took the initiative to annually celebrate International Women's Day. Since 1911 For the first time, International Women's Day is celebrated in Austria, Germany, Denmark and Switzerland. 2 young man– March 8, 1914 International Women's Day was celebrated in St. Petersburg for the first time. The police banned all rallies, but young women workers with live red carnations pinned on their chests went out to demonstrate. March 8, 1917 during February Revolution the women demanded: “Bread for poor children! Down with the war." World wars made the world forget about holidays, but the role of women in the fight for peace and for their rights was significant.

(come out with candles: a boy and 3 girls) Young man with a candle“She slowly climbed the cold steps to the top of Mamayev Kurgan. In one hand there was a bouquet of wildflowers, in the other - a staff, the knock of which echoed loudly in the morning silence. At a distance, a flock of tourists chirped carefreely, and against their background, her hunched figure in a black plush jacket looked especially mournful, as if she was carrying an unbearable burden. -Three of mine are sleeping here. “A husband and two sons,” she said dully to those standing nearby. “I kept waiting, thinking they were about to return.” Didn't return. Everyone died and was buried on the mound... The tears of mothers burned the hearts of the soldiers leaving for the front. Mother of a soldier: she walked through the howl of sirens, the explosions of bombs and shells. 1 maiden with a candle- My dear mother! It's hard to write the last lines. Involuntarily everything comes back to memory, and the most wonderful memories cause inexpressible pain. Lately I constantly have to tell myself: “Take courage, don’t give in to despair.” Mommy, be courageous, and I will also try with all my might to be like that. Your Anna." Anna Mlaznikova, 29 years old, shot in Prague on May 12, 1944. 2 girls with a candle- Dear Mimma! Your mother leaves forever with thoughts of you, my dear, endlessly beloved daughter. Be good, learn and obey. You shouldn't cry or be ashamed for me. Paola Gorelli, 28 years old, shot in Italy on November 1, 1944." 3 girls with a candle -“They are our mothers and sisters: You would not be able to study today, or play freely, and maybe even be born, if during the fascist terror these women had not protected their fragile, gentle body, like a steel shield, you and your future..." These words of the German writer Anna Segers are engraved on a simple stone installed at the entrance to the Ravensbrück concentration camp, where 92 thousand women and children from 20 countries of the world died. (read the poem line by line, extinguishing the candles) 1 maiden with a candle May your day be sunny and beautiful.
And your path will be strewn with roses,
And every evening - starry, clean, clear.
Oh, Woman, always be happy!
2 girls with a candle When playing with primordial force,
Mother Nature created this world,
Oh, Woman, she put it in you
All your beauty and grace.
3 girls with a candle There is a gust of thunder in you, a dawn of radiance,
The splendor of mountains and river holes,
Delight for the eyes, charm for the soul,
Through You the world and man are eternal.
1 young man Nature is in you, all your art
Captured to say: “Praise!”
And then for you, in a fit of feeling
She created a man in love.
2 young man- Not their outfits
And not a Roman profile -
We are captivated by the female soul.
And her youth and motherhood,
And gray hair when the time has come.
Young man with a candle And we men.
We bow low.
To all the women of my native country.
No wonder on the soldiers’ obelisks
The memory of the faces of mothers is minted. (presentation closes, everyone leaves, 1 presenter enters)

1 Ved.- And we continue. (pause)

Today, when the whole country is preparing to celebrate the bright holiday of spring, our grandmothers, mothers, sisters and friends are in a hurry to congratulate the Rossiya channel and the organizers of the Become a Star project.

(project organizers included) 1 organizer - Dear TV viewers! In search of talent, we visited two thousand five hundred and sixty-four Russian schools in fifty cities, one hundred and fifty villages, forty mountain villages, four tundras and one desert.
(He falls silent, looks expectantly at the 2nd organizer, he remains silent until the 1st pushes him).

2 organizer – (came to my senses) Oh, sorry. I can't hear well. And no wonder! We listened to 97 thousand project participants who sang, howled, squeaked and screamed for 75 hours. 1 organizer- But our efforts were not in vain! We were able to find the best of the best! 2nd organizer – So, the winner of the “Be a Star” project ...(speaker's name) (song plays) (1 presenter comes out)

1 – Channel One receives many letters, the authors of which ask to repeat particularly memorable episodes of their favorite programs. We will be happy to fulfill your wish. I think our TV viewers will enjoy another meeting with Maxim Galkin and the program “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” (Maxim Galkin and a participant in the game sit down at the table.)
Maksim: So, I present to you new member our game. Hortensia Oklakhomova, Moscow resident, designer. Are you familiar with the rules of our game?
Participant: Yes.
Maksim: Then let's not waste time. First question: How does the Russian proverb end: “Measure seven times…”: Sew once, tear off once, bite once, cut once.
Participant: So...Let's think logically. What can you measure?
Maksim: Really, what?
Participant: Well, for example, something tasty. Then the answer is take one bite.
Maksim: Are you giving an answer?
Participant: Yes.
Maksim: Is this your final answer?
Participant: What's wrong?
Maksim: I don't know. I wouldn't limit myself to just one bite.
Participant: Then I take the computer's hint.
Maksim: Let the computer remove two incorrect answers... So, the answers left are “Cut once” and “Bite once”. Which one do you think is correct?
Participant: Cut once. All. This is my final answer. I remembered - my grandmother was a surgeon and always said that before operations she remembered this proverb.
Maksim: Well, your answer has been accepted. But whether this is correct or not, you will find out after advertising on Channel One. (advertising “Novopassit - 3 people)

Teacher. - Guys, tell me if you succeeded last week do good deeds?
Student. - I succeeded. Even two.

Teacher. - Tell me which ones.
Student. - On Saturday I went to visit my aunt and she was delighted!
Teacher. - Well done! What about the second act?
Student. - On Sunday I left my aunt, and she was even more happy. Advertiser. – (jumping out from behind the scenes) Novopassit will calm you and your nerves.

Maksim- Let's continue the game. The Russian proverb says: “Measure twice, cut once”, that’s right! Let's move on to the next question. How many letters are in the word “more”: two, three, four, five.
Participant: What difficult questions are you asking, Maxim. So, let's think logically. Well, not two, that's for sure. And not five. That leaves two answers.
Maksim: Iron logic.
Participant: But to answer correctly, you need to know how to spell this word. How is it written?
Maksim: Well, I won’t ask what you had in Russian at school. Maybe we can use the help of the audience?
Participant: Yes, let's ask for the hall.
Maksim: In the meantime, the audience in the hall is answering the question - commercial break.

(advertising "Ariel"» - 3 persons) Daughter. You guys don't interfere with us.
I do laundry with my mom together.
To make the dress cleaner
And the scarf was whiter,
I scrub without sparing soap,
I work, sparing no effort.
The Panama hat has become clean.
“Come on, mom, look!”
Mom smiles at me.
Mother. Strongly, daughter, not three.
I'm afraid that after washing
I'll have to mend the holes. Advertiser. – Better than soap Ariel – even removes gel!

Maksim. - So, how many letters are in the word “more”: 49 percent of the audience believe that there are three letters in the word “more”, 49 - “Four”, and one percent each believe that there are two letters and five letters in this word.
Participant: I choose the answer "three". Three letters.
Maksim: But why three?
Participant: I think that it is lucky number. After all, at school I got a C in Russian language. Maksim. - We’ll find out if you’re right or wrong after the advertisement on First.

(advertising "Smecta" - 3 people)Girl. - Where is the apple, Andryusha?
Boy. - I ate an apple a long time ago.
Girl. - You didn't wash it, it seems?
Boy. - I peeled the skin off of it.
Girl. - Well done you have become!
Boy. - I've been like this for a long time.
Girl. - Where to clean things up?
Boy. - Oh, cleaning?.. I ate it too. Advertiser.- "Smecta" - ate it and order!

Maksim: And you are right! The word “more” has three letters. Next question: “Who is the author of the books about Harry Potter”: Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin, JK Rowling, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, the Brothers Grimm. Have you read books about Harry Potter?
Participant: Of course I read it. I just forgot the author. I want to call a friend. Andrey Zaumny. He read all the Harry Potter books.
Maksim: Okay, let's call a friend.
Andrey: Hello!
Maksim: Hello Andrei! Are you worried about the game “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?” and me, Maxim Galkin! ( pretends that Andrey is greeting him). You can help your friend Hortense Oklahoma win a million. You are ready? (addressing Andrey by phone) Please, Hortensia!
Participant: Andrey, who wrote the Harry Potter books? ( pretends that Andrey is telling her) Joanne Rowling! You are sure?
Maksim: Your Answer!
Participant: I agree with Andrey. Although, for some reason, I am more familiar with the name “Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin”. And this one, Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, is also a famous writer. He also wrote about this one, “The Chirping Fly.” But I trust my friends more than myself. Since Andrei says Joan, that means Joan.
Maksim: The answer is accepted, but we will find out whether it is correct after the advertisement.

(advertising "Marathon Runner")Boy. - I can't even find words,
How can you, mom?
Carrying weights in wallets
Ten kilograms?
I see it's almost light again
You're from the supermarket... Mother.- So what to do? Any advice?
Boy. - Go twice, mom! Advertiser. Ointment "Marathon Man" - takes care of you and your legs.

1 Ved.- We stopped at a small fragment of the program “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”, but we are sure that each of you remembers how Hortensia Oklakhomova, thanks to her deep knowledge, was able to win a million. ( 2 presenter enters with a pack of congratulatory telegrams)2 Ved. – Look, our beloved grandmothers, mothers, teachers, girls, girls wished to congratulate the most famous men peace, yes, but the trouble is, I just can’t make out who the telegram is from. 1 Ved. – And you ask our TV viewers to help us. (2 Ved. descends into the hall) I’m reading the telegram, and whoever can guess who it’s from, raise your hand. ( 2 Ved. asks in the hall and rewards) TELEGRAMS: = CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL HOSTESSES AND COOKIES! GOOD CULINARY SUCCESS TO YOU! …………WINNIE THE POOH = LET THEY CALL YOU “FISH”, “BUNNIES”! HELLO AND CONGRATULATIONS FROM….UNKNOWN = PREFER TRANSPORT ON FOOT, GO TO THE FOREST! HELLO...Goblin = I HOPE EVERYONE MEETS THIS SOON! HELLO MUSICAL PEOPLE! YOUR….KIRKOROV = LET MEN LOOK AT YOU TENDINGLY! HELLO AND NEW SONG FROM….BASKOVA = EAT MORE FRUITS, VEGETABLES AND BE HEALTHY, YOUR….KASHCHEY = DON'T BE AFRAID TO START YOUR LIFE AGAIN Occasionally! GREETINGS TO YOU FROM MOSFILM AND...RYAZANOV =TODAY YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS A PICTURE! I GIVE YOU THE KEYS TO HAPPINESS! …..Pinocchio =LET EVERYONE BE FOUND BY IVAN TSAREVICH! SMILES AND SONGS TO YOU! ….MAKAREVICH

1 Ved. – And now, I will ask our girls to stick to the screens, and you, dear boys, draw your conclusions from what you see. So, the children's channel "Bibigon" and the fairy tale "The Frog Princess". (literary composition “The Frog Princess”: Speaker, Tsar, 1st son, 2nd son, 3rd son.)Speaker:(2 Leaders can take over the words)

Once upon a time in Rus',
Once upon a time there lived a wise sovereign.
He ruled the country strictly
And my own family.
And the family has three adult sons
There is a reason to be worried.
How peacefully will you live?
When is it time to get your children married?

The first son is the eldest Vasily,
Glorious for his heroic strength!( shows muscles)
The middle son is the dashing Stepan ( jumps on the spot)
Well, the youngest is Ivan. ( twists at his temple)
One day, in the morning,
To the king's chambers
Three sons appeared
And they bowed to the waist.

1st son: How did you rest, father? 2nd son: And what dreams did you have? Tsar: Dear sons,
I dream about bad dreams.
To get rid of sadness and melancholy,
I need to marry you.
I'll give everyone an arrow
Try your luck. 1st son: Opposite to go to father,
It's not appropriate for a young man. All three sons: We will carry out your order
This very moment and this very hour. Speaker:

And two arrows fell
To rich yards.
And the noblewoman and the merchant's wife,
They picked up the arrows smartly.
Well, and the youngest son
He was a bad shooter.

And the green frog
Became a girlfriend to the youngest. ( pause) Just before the wedding
Listen to the king's decree.

Tsar: So that by tomorrow morning. Everything was woven onto the carpet. Speaker: And Ivan the Young went
I'm not myself because of the disorder. Ivan (3rd son): In the morning I will appear to my father,
How will I show myself?
A frog cannot weave a carpet,
Father will be angry. Speaker: That same night from the frog
The girl became a beauty
I started working quickly
And she finished it soon.
The carpet was ready by morning,
Ivan went with him to the king.
Well, the king is already waiting
And he accepts gifts. Tsar(accepting gifts): Elder's son carpet
Let them take it to the barnyard.
Middle son's carpet
Put it down for now
To my farthest peace,
So as not to see in front of you. Speaker: The prince came up
I put the rug on the table,
And the king and the royal court
I was amazed.
And then the father said: Tsar: Let them hang you in the throne room.
And now, sons,
Let the wives bake bread. Speaker:

Ivanushka became sad,
He hung his head sadly.
After all, a frog, even if you scream,
It won't reach the oven.
But in the morning in the hut,
The aroma was everywhere.
There was a pie on the table
Baked exactly on time.

Well, for breakfast, in the morning
Three sons at the throne
Ready to offer bread.
Eldest son's pie
The king sent him over the threshold. ( waves to the side)
Middle son's pie
I couldn't take a bite. ( bites and grabs teeth)

Tsar: Well, the younger one is great! Speaker: The Tsar Father himself said so. Tsar: Wasn't afraid to take the frog
You swamp frog
And now it's for you
He will repay the good in full.
And life won't be difficult
With Vasilisa the Wise. ( comes up to them and takes them by the hands)
And with a hardworking wife,
Kind, wise and beautiful
You will live for many years
You will not know bitter troubles. Speaker: We congratulate Ivan. And we’re finishing the fairy tale. A fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it. A lesson to good fellows.

Tsar: goodbye, leaving,
Telling you "goodbye"
I want to issue a decree
May it always be on the eighth of March
Countless times
People often say:
"Darlings, we appreciate you."
And let these words
With the taste of affection and warmth,
Your heart is warmed
And they rise on wings
Into a cloud of inspiration
People are surprised by everything.
So many more times
We repeated from the heart:
"Darlings, we appreciate you."

1 Ved. When for a moment with one breath
There will be a whiff of spring in the air,
TO Great woman with recognition
The globe will freeze in bow.
Spring will open its buds loudly,
Will disturb the best dreams,
And with a slight grace the girl
Will receive the first flowers.
2 Ved. And again about the girls. Girls are future wives, mothers, grandmothers, but what would happen to the whole world if they were suddenly gone. We suggest watching a fantasy on this topic on the TNT youth channel.

(scene “Horse than them...”: Vasya Kistochkin, Petya Girin, Lena the headman, extra girls, Genie Violet,Girl with a paddle, Snow Woman, Vasya’s mother) Petka Girin . - Hello, Kistochkin!
Vasya Kistochkin (thoughtfully, continuing to draw). - Hello, Girya!
Petka Girin . - What about the dome? By the way, I have a last name.(Thinks.) And there is even a name.
Vasya Kistochkin . - Forgive me, Petya, I’m completely lost here...
Petka Girin . What are you writing a poster for? (reads slowly) Um, Jo.
Vasya Kistochkin (Attaches the letter “D”. It turns out the inscription: “HURRAY! MZD!”). - Now that's order!
Petka Girin . - So what did you get? Male, female and children's? Or grandpa's? (Kistochkin does not have time to answer; headman Lena Gvozdeva enters).
Lena Gvozdeva. - Kistochkin! I ask you as the class leader: is the poster finally ready?
Vasya Kistochkin . - Of course I'm ready. Here he is…
Lena Gvozdeva (horrified). - What kind of disgrace is this?! What should you have written?
Vasya Kistochkin . - Poster for the holiday... Here it is.
Lena Gvozdeva . - And what is written on it?
Vasya Kistochkin . - On it, Gvozdeva, it is written: “Hurray! International Women's Day!"
Lena Gvozdeva . - Well, you know, Kistochkin! You should have written this poster a week ago. Stretched out to last day and “created” this disgrace...
Vasya Kistochkin . - Yes, you see, I played football yesterday. The neighbor's yard called us. I couldn't refuse. Tell her, Petka!
Petka Girin. - Well!
Lena Gvozdeva . - And what kind of boys?! They can’t even write a poster or put two words together! And who needs you: hooligans, losers, pushers?!
Vasya and Petka (in unison). - Who needs you, girls?! Crybabies, imagineers, sneaks?!
Lena Gvozdeva . - Oh, are we sneakers?! I’ll go to the classroom and tell her everything! Girls, come here and look at the poster Kistochkin drew for us! (Girls run in, crowd around the poster, groaning and gasping indignantly, hubbub, noise, squealing and squealing.) Vasya Kistochkin . - Shut up! You could draw your own posters!(He touches a jar of paint on the table and it falls.) Well, I dropped the paint on the floor! It's all because of you, nasty girls! May you all fail!(The lights go out. There is a roar in the darkness, flashes of lightning. A thunderous voice: “I listen and obey!” Light. The girls disappeared. Genie Violet appeared.)
Vasya Kistochkin. - Who are you?
Genie Violet . - I am the genie Violet, from a jar of blue paint. You freed me and now I am your servant. Order.
Petka Girin . - Where did these go... What are they? Well, those whose braids are being pulled... And what are these holes in the floor?
Genie Violet. - By order of my master, these same obnoxious girls fell into these holes.
Vasya Kistochkin . - What have you done?! Return them immediately! Today is a holiday at school - the Eighth of March! MJD! International Women's Day! If the girls don’t come to the party, they’ll kick me out of school!
Genie Violet. - There is no way to return them. I can't cast spells back. And it's not my fault. You wished, I fulfilled.
Vasya Kistochkin . - Oh, thanks! How can I get them back now?
Genie Violet . - Why do you need these obnoxious girls? Tricksters, crooks, sneaks... It’s better without them!
Petka Girin . - Well, yes! Who should I copy problems from? Who to tease? Who should I drag by the braids? No, violet, you finish these things, but I’ll give it to you! Go, cherche la femme... That is, girls.
Genie Violet. – You can't beat genies! They are ancient monuments!
Petka Girin . - So it would stand as a monument in its antiquity. Why did you come here?
Vasya Kistochkin . - Shut up, Petka! And you, Violet, quickly tell me what to do now. Who can help?
Genie Violet . – I can only return the girls if any other girl asks me to do so.
Petka Girin . - Yes, I’ll immediately call one of the girls from the yard...
Genie Violet . - You won't call. All the girls disappeared. And from the yard, and from the city, and generally from the whole planet.
Petka Girin . - Is that all?
Vasya Kistochkin . - What about mothers?
Genie Violet . - In general, all the girls: schoolgirls, preschoolers, mothers, grandmothers, and all, all, all...
Vasya Kistochkin . - But mothers are adults, and grandmothers are old!
Genie Violet . - They're too old for you. But at heart they are all the same girls: they love outfits, goodies and long conversations...
Vasya Kistochkin . - That's it, Violet, go and bring any girl or woman here.
Genie Violet. - Where can I find them? They all failed!
Petka Girin. - Look wherever you want! And how I will hurt on your memorial plaque! It’s been told to you in Russian - it’s worse than them, so go ahead and be worse.
Genie Violet . - Okay, okay, I'm leaving now. But I can’t leave my master for too long.
Vasya Kistochkin . - So much the better, you'll be back sooner.
Genie Violet . - Why - quickly! They all failed! It’s always like this, they’ll wish for anything, then return everything to its place... (Leaves.)
Vasya Kistochkin. - Will he really not find it?!
PetkaGirin. - Just let him try! I'll ruin his entire profile!(Steps are heard behind the doors. Vasya and Petka look at each other in fear and hide under the table. The door opens, Genie Violet comes in and looks around.)
Genie Violet . - Hey, where are you? Master! I brought a woman... (The boys crawl out from under the table.)
Genie Violet. - Well, come on in! Don't be afraid, no one will hurt you! (The statue of a Girl with an Oar comes thundering down from its pedestal.)
Genie Violet . - So, she was standing in the yard, and I invited her. No other women were found... Try, maybe he will agree to ask me to return the women.
Girl with a paddle . - I really need to ask someone. And why do you need these wretched women? Always with bags, with worries. It's my fault! Do you want to go on a boat ride? I’ll arrange it in a moment!
Vasya Kistochkin . - you to us better than women help bring back our mothers and girls.
Petka Girin . - Of course, any fool can ride a boat. And who will go shopping and cook dinners? And what are the boats like now - the snow has not all melted yet!
Girl with a paddle . - Why are you calling me a fool? Like I'll hit the dome with an oar! For me too, they found a slave Isaura - go shopping for them, cook dinners... No, since you only need mothers and girls for this, I will not help return them. Let them take a break from you slackers. I'll go for a swim...
Petka Girin . - Wait a minute, concrete woman!
Girl with a paddle . - Am I the concrete one?! Yes, I love you... (He hits Petka on the head with an oar, Petka falls. The girl with the oar leaves, singing: “Whoever is cheerful laughs, whoever wants will achieve it...”. Vasya and Genie are busy around Petka.)
Petka Girin (woke up, shakes his head). - Where is the one with the oar?
Genie Violet . - Gone, gone...
Petka Girin . - And that's good. And thank you, genie.
Genie Violet . - For what? I haven't done anything yet.
Petka Girin . - You've already done so much! And thank you for not bringing the collective farmer with a sickle. Well, what are you worth? Go ahead and brush them further...
Genie Violet . - Where can I find them for you?(He leaves. After a while he returns. He leads the Snow Woman, she carries a bucket in her hand.)
Genie Violet . - Here, I brought you a snowy woman - round and tender. There were no other females on the street.
Snow woman . – Hello to you. Can I put a bucket in the corner? It’s hot to stand in such a helmet in the spring. Oh, yes, you have tuts and a refrigerator! Can I have some ice and keep my head in the freezer? I'm a little bit, otherwise I'm melting.(Puts the bucket into the freezer). Vasya Kistochkin . – Dear Snow Woman! Help us bring back girls and mothers!
Snow woman - Why do you need them?
Vasya Kistochkin . - Well, how is this - why? Wash, cook...
Snow woman . - Just think, cook! Yes, I will feed you ice cream every day! And washing is nonsense. Why wash? The dirt dries up, I jumped and it fell off...
Petka Girin . - Who should I copy lessons from?
Vasya Kistochkin . - And who will cook the soup and cutlets?
Snow woman . – Is it hot to cook?! Oh no! I’ll immediately melt at the stove, my place is near the refrigerator. And you need to do your homework yourself, and not copy it!
Vasya Kistochkin . - Will you love us like mothers?
Petka Girin . - Are you going to spoil us?
Snow woman . - Here's something else we came up with! I really need it! I love it when I am loved and pampered. And I also love the cold. I’ll live here next to your refrigerator...
Petka Girin. - Well, tell you what, if you don’t immediately ask this purple guy to bring back everyone he made fail, you’ll lose weight in no time! Ask, or I'll turn on the heater and turn off the refrigerator!
Snow woman. - Okay, okay, I’ll turn the heater off right away? I beg you, am I sorry, or what? Hey, blue one! Oh, sorry! Dear Genie Violet, please bring back everyone you made fail... (The lights go out. In the darkness there is a roar, flashes of lightning. Thunderous voice: “I listen and obey!” Light. Failed Girls and Mothers appeared.)
Lena Gvozdeva . - What's going on here?! Vasya's mom. - Where did we go and then ended up here?! Petka, admit it, these are your things?!
Petka Girin (scared). - No! This is this genie!
Vasya's mom . - Oh, boys, why did you paint your uncle?
Vasya Kistochkin. - This is not an uncle, this is a genie! It was he who made you all fail!
Genie Violet . - Yes, it's me - Genie Violet. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I was fulfilling the wishes of my new owner.Vasya Kistochkin. – Forgive us.I should have asked for flowers, for the mothers and girls. And balloons. They still have a holiday today, the Eighth of March. How would we live without our ladies?
Petka Girin . - This is for sure: no copying of lessons, no eating cutlets, no pulling someone’s braid. Yearning!
1 Ved. – There are a lot of heartfelt words to be found. Grateful men could(addresses Petya and Vasya ) And today we want to say the same, eternal(all participants in the scene in chorus ) "THANK YOU"!!! - And finally, dear guests, please accept our musical congratulations in honor of the Great Women's Day.(musical congratulations performed in the program sound Pinnacle studio , at the end of which all participants of the program appear on stage: in the foreground are 4 young men reading the final congratulations in verse) 1 reader: Today is the day, we praise women,
May trouble, resentment, evil not touch you,
We praise grandmothers, there is no one better, kinder,
They will help you with everything and always know how to do everything.Reader 2: We praise our mothers, thank you!
Beloved, loving, not knowing peace,
Tireless, they have so much to do,
Long-tolerant, not strict about pranks.Reader 3: We praise girls, they are not more beautiful,
You can borrow an eraser and a notebook from them,
Whisper the correct answer into the test,
They will tell you how to solve the problem.
Reader 4: We praise all women, thank you,
For beauty, for kindness and tenderness.
Do you remember - we love you very much,
And we will try to live up to expectations.

This scenario for March 8 is intended specifically for modern high school students, and is written in their slang, so when you stage it, you do not need to replace the “wrong” words with the correct ones. Before the start of the holiday, attach signs (leaflets) with numbers to the chairs and seats in the hall where spectators will sit. This will be useful for the lottery.

2 presenters come out. They are dressed as usual (not festively).

Presenter 1 (reads in the form of a turnip):
Hello Stas,
Do you want me to tell you a story?
About how in the modern world,
We have forgotten about previous values!

Presenter 2 (as well as presenter 1 raps):
Diman, I don’t understand you,
But I pay close attention
What kind of values ​​are these?
Which ones have you forgotten?

Presenter 1:
Look closely, Stas,
And delve into the circumstances!

The presenters leave.

2 guys come out. Which go towards each other. Both have phones and are doing something. They walk without raising their eyes and collide with each other.

1 guy:
Watch where you're going! (raises his head) Oh, Mich, what are you doing? Healthy.

2nd guy:
Hey, Kolyan!

They stand next to each other and put their phones in their pockets. They stand silently for a minute, looking around.

1 guy:
How are you doing?

2 presenter:
There’s something I don’t understand, Diman
Maybe I'm missing something?

1 presenter:
Stas, are you completely blind?
There is no communication between them!

2 presenter:
So what's the big deal?
Why is there no conversation between them?

1 presenter:
Okay, don't interrupt,
Keep watching!

2nd guy:
By the way, I completed Diablo (here you can name any popular computer game) to the end!

1 guy:
Come on? And what's there at the end?

2 guy opens his mouth to start telling how the girl comes out. And both guys fall silent. A girl passes by.

1 guy:
Hello Lenka!

The girl looks at the guys with a dissatisfied look, “grunts” and leaves.

2nd guy:
What is she?

1 guy:
Yes, I was offended.

2nd guy:
For what?

1 guy:
Who the hell knows! You won't understand these girls!

2nd guy:
You may have offended her.

1 guy:
Yes, when? I haven’t gone outside for a week now, I’m always on the computer.

2nd guy:
Likewise.

The guys freeze again. The presenters come out again. Presenter 2 is typing something on the phone.

1 presenter:
Do you understand now?
Do you delve into anything at all?

2 presenter (looking up from the phone):
Sorry Diman, just a minute,
I'm tweeting something right now!

1 presenter slaps himself on the head. And he leaves.

2 presenter:
I'm done. Hey Diman,
Continue your novel!

1 presenter:
Well, in general, you are Stas!
Not a novel, but a story!

The presenters leave, the guys “come to life”

1 guy:
Listen, Mich, it seems to me that there is someone else here! Don't you think so?

2nd guy:
Yeah, it seems!

The guys look around.

2nd guy:
So, why was Lenka offended after all?

1 guy:
I tell you “I don’t know”! I need to ask Katyukha in contact!

2nd guy:
Let's.

1 guy takes out his phone and types something on it. Then a sound is heard (like notifications in contact), the guy reads:
Look at the calendar.

2nd guy:
What?

1 guy:
Look at the calendar, I wrote. Where can I get a calendar?

2nd guy:
So look on your phone!

1 guy:
Exactly!

1 guy looks at the phone, 2 guy also looks at his phone.

The guys freeze again, the 2nd presenter runs out.

2 presenter:
Diman! Diman!
Well, what's there?
What did you find in the calendar?
Why did they say
"Damn!"?

1 presenter:
And look for yourself,
And then tell me!

Here you can take out a “telephone calendar” drawn on whatman paper; there should be the month of March and the number 8 highlighted in red.

2 presenter:
Damn!
I'm in trouble!!
How could I forget?
It was necessary to score during the holidays!

Here the guys suddenly “come to life”

1 guy:
Who are you anyway?

2nd guy:
And how did you end up here?

1 presenter:
We came from afar
To help you correct your mistakes!

1 guy:
Why are you saying this in poetry? Is it normal that you can’t say?

2nd guy:
And in general, we don’t need helpers! We can handle it ourselves! (pushes the 1st guy in the side with his elbow)

1 presenter:
Oh well!

The guys leave.

2 presenter:
Listen, Diman, why are you and I, and it’s true that we either read rap or chat in poetry! Here we go again!

1 presenter:
Yes, I don’t even know, Stas!

The 3rd presenter (girl) comes out.

3rd presenter:
You guys can’t do anything without us! I asked to start the holiday in honor of International Women's Day - March 8, what do you mean?

2 presenter:
What are we?

3rd presenter:
Not “WHAT”, but what! What kind of slang do you have anyway? We have a women's holiday here, you understand?! And you: “Diman”, “get into it”! how should they even understand you!!

1 presenter:
Don't get angry Light.

3rd presenter:
Boiling?!! Here we go again!! You'll ruin the whole holiday!!!

The girl presenter runs away.

1 presenter:
Need to do something.

2 presenter:
It is necessary, but what?

Both emcees walk back and forth across the stage, deep in thought.

1 presenter:
Invented!

2 presenter:
What?

1 presenter whispers something in the ear of the 2nd presenter, then they both simultaneously nod their heads and leave.

Solemn music is playing. The presenters appear in suits.

1 presenter:
Beautiful, sweet girls!
Our smart girls are beautiful!

2 presenter:
Today we congratulate you,
We wish you good study!

1 presenter:
Be the most beautiful
Or better yet, the happiest!

Here you can make flower petals from colorful foil or buy petals or confetti, and at the end of the phrase, both presenters throw petals into the hall.

1 presenter:
And for you now,
We'll sing a romance.

A romance is being performed.

2 presenter:
And now we listen to congratulations,
From our director the best!

Congratulations from the director. If the director is a woman, then at the end of her speech, the presenters also congratulate the director and give her a gift.

1 presenter:
You are our dear classmates,
And we haven’t forgotten your gifts!

2 presenter:
We'll just hand them to you in class,
In the meantime, let's watch the dance!

A dance is being performed.

1 presenter:
Now let's go with you
We will play interesting games.

You can hold competitions here. At the end of the competitions, the leading girl comes out.

Female presenter:
We have also prepared the following entertainment for you! It's a "lucky number" lottery! and a festive disco!

Next is the “Lucky Number” lottery. First, 8 numbers are taken in turn from a bag or drum (the main thing is that the number 8 is not there), and those who sit on chairs with these numbers are awarded prizes. And then the one who sits in place number 8 receives a separate prize.
Then all the girls and women are given flowers (one rose is possible, if there are not enough funds, then only female teachers are allowed).
At the end, all the characters go on stage and say together:

Key tags:

Exit 11th grade (music)
Spring is coming.
And don't let it be hot
But with her, like a summer shadow, -
International Women's Day,
Comes to us on March 8th!

We would like in spring days
Take all troubles away from you,
Sunny Mood Cup
Present to lovely women.

So that your eyes are filled with joy,
Bright freshness for many years,
And may life be a merry rainbow
It blazed all over the world.

Give you spring flowers,
The smell of the forest and the sounds of music,
So that the soul comes to life, thaws
And I didn’t know the worries of separation

Peace, happiness, love, prosperity
And more good luck to the house
Congratulations, our dears.
Happy holiday, Women's Day!!!

Ved. Each of you, dear ladies, with all your soul wants to take a break from the worries that have fallen on us. Today we invite you to take a trip on our high-speed train “Women’s Dream” from the “Vesennyaya” station to the “Ocharovaniye” station (There is an image of the train on the screen).
Train driver: Dear passengers! There are 5 minutes left before the departure of the train following the route “Uspenskaya Gymnasium No. 2 – Women’s Dream”. I ask everyone to take their seats and prepare for departure (train departure).
To make your trip unforgettable and fun, our guides are always nearby. Here they come, welcome (music).
Guide 1: We sincerely welcome and congratulate the most beautiful half of humanity - our women and girls on their wonderful holiday - March 8th!
Guide 2: Are you congratulating me too?
Guide 1: Of course, because I already complimented you in the vestibule and expressed my admiration!
Guide 2: Yes, I remember. You called my hairstyle "explosion in a pasta factory." Wow that's a compliment!
Guide 1: Well, I noticed her! And... I admired it!
Guide 2: You know, to be honest, I would like to be noticed and given more flattering compliments not only on March 8th!
Guide 1: Well, I'm still waiting for you New Year I said you were in a new dress, the one you couldn’t fit into before! I told you about this, remember?
Guide 2: Yes, this is never forgotten. Try today to notice charm, charm, beauty and express your admiration more elegantly so as not to offend our ladies.
Conductor 2: Attention, a small announcement: artists are traveling on our train, now of international level - the Skvorushka Song Theater
Conductor 1: Before the holiday, on our instructions, spies monitored the women working in our gymnasium, but we had to find out which contingent would travel on our train (music from the film “The Pink Panther”).
Conductor 2: Why? Has a crime been committed?
Guide 1: Not yet, but perhaps it will be. Today they talk all day about the culprits...
Guide 2: The perpetrators of the crime?
Guide 1: No, hero of the occasion! A verbal portrait was compiled:
appearance is amazing
smile is radiant,
gait is graceful,
eyes are shining,
the mood is festive.
Guide 2: What about clothes?
Guide 1: Dressed up.
Guide 2: Are there any special signs?
Guide 1: Yes: forever young, every year on March 8th they accept congratulations.
Guide 2: I found it! Here they are all – the heroes of the occasion.
Guide 1: Is everyone to blame?
Guide 2: That's it! What will we sentence them to?
Conductor 1: Of course, for the holiday and relaxation on our “Women’s Dream” train!
Explorer 1:
At school, there are wonderful women:
Ladies, ladies, senors, feminas.
Don't take this as flattery
Gentlemen-men love you.
To prove it to you
We compared your image to flowers.
We ask you to accept with all your heart
Our gift is in the name of Athena!
PRESENTATION.
Oh women, we praise you, shy ones,
And to the extent of good, and not to the extent of evil,
Sometimes faithful, and sometimes fickle,
Half-magical and half-earthly!
10th grade skit (men's report)
Guide 1: Well, Lera, did you look at our route?
Conductor 2: Yeah, an exciting journey through the wish stations awaits us.
Guide 1: And what kind of dream, I wonder, can a woman have?
Guide 2: Well, which one? Of course, one of the most important women’s desires is to raise worthy people, and also so that they are not only smart, but also able to express their thoughts in sincere words, the way students (grades 3-4) do.
TRAIN
Train driver: Dear passengers! Our train arrives at the Akapelnaya station. The train stop is only 10 minutes, which students from the 5th and 6th grades of the class will spend with you (grades 5, 6).

Guide 2: What an angelic voice.
Guide 1: And the song is wonderful, I’ll sing it now...
Conductor 2: Come on, and then you yourself will go look for all the passengers.
Guide 1: I definitely can’t sing like that, I’d rather read a poem.
I'll just meet your smile
Or I’ll catch your joyful glance, -
It is not for you that I sing a song of love,
And your beauty is indescribable.
Guide 2: That’s not too bad, let’s move on, dreamer...
TRAIN
Train driver: Dear passengers, our train has arrived at the Fortuna station, the stopping time is 10 minutes.
Ved. Hold your luck by the tail,
The calculation is extremely simple -
Who constantly believes in miracles,
Good luck always awaits him.
SKETCH “The Apprentice”
Teacher. Only today and only now, the biggest prize is your certificate - take a risk and taste luck! The conditions for certification are as follows. You have 3 tips: – 50*50; – call a friend; - help from otherworldly forces. If you answer all the questions correctly, you will receive a grade of 5 and your certificate.
- Well, do you want your certificate?
Student. Yeah!
Teacher. What will you play with?
Student. (thinks) Oh, for sneakers.
Teacher. Put the sneaker here and answer the 1st question on literature. It's simple, I ask a question, you guess! Poem-novel " Dead Souls"wrote?
A) Kazitsky Nikita, when Lera and Denis were not at school.
B) Gogol-mogol.
B) Tsigel - tsigel ay - lyu - lyu.
D) Gogol.
Student. I think Kazitsky.
Teacher. Are you sure?
Student. No, I’m not sure, but maybe the help of otherworldly forces (music: Bringing).
Teacher. It seems to me that if you answer “G” you won’t be wrong. So is this your option?
Student. (scared) G-g-g...
Teacher. That's right, your winnings amounted to 2b. Try again?
Student. Hmm... hmm, of course it's that simple!
Teacher. And so, place your bet (second sneaker). Hmm... sneakers again, well that's accepted! Next question on English language What does “a cat” mean in English?
A) Katya.
B) Cat.
B) Katya's son.
D) Yours, mine don’t understand.
Student. If there was “A”, and I know Katya and she doesn’t have a son, then according to probability theory it means “G”. Yes exactly!
Teacher. Is this your last decision?
Student. What's the wrong answer?
Teacher. Not really. Correct again, another 1b. You are just some lucky guy!
Student. Lucky? Yes, luck is my middle name! Let's do it again.
Teacher. And so, place your bet.
Student. A! I play for everything (takes out a diary).
Teacher. Accepted, and your 3rd question is about history. The name of Alexander the Great's horse was:
A) Gaius Julius Caesar.
B) Pony.
B) Bucephalus.
D) Didn't catch up.
Student. I haven’t caught up, maybe 50*50?
Teacher. Okay, I'll remove "G" and "B". There are 2 options left: “A” and “B”.
Student. "IN".
Teacher. This is a great answer! I like this guy, he replied again! You get another 1b.
Student. 4...4!
Teacher. Yeah, it seems the time has come to play a super game and get your A and your certificate.
Student. Yes! The time has come, let's...
Teacher. And so the bet is 5.
Student. Yes! 5, but I only have 4.
Teacher. Hmm...let me think...Okay! 4-year and summer work.
Student. Summer work?
Teacher. Your certificate!
Student. I agree on the deal.
Teacher. And you last question mathematics. In front of you is a blank sheet of A4 format. Please square the number. And so you have 1 minute, time has passed. Are you ready to answer? Your time is up.
Student. Yes, I'm ready. Here is my answer (shows sheet). Guys, today is not your day!
Teacher. (wipes his forehead) You received your A and your certificate. Happy travels to you!
(music ARIA “I am free”).
Conductor 1: our station is called “fortuna” - luck, and who does luck love?
Guide 2. Those who are lucky, those who know how to calculate moves.
Guide 1. To the one who is not afraid to turn his face to her, and passes the exam every day.
Guide 2: Today we have the opportunity to verify your luck.
Conductor 1: Today we will take the exam at your place. The conditions are very simple: a statement is given in which the answer to a famous Russian proverb is hidden. You need to guess the proverb.
Explorer 2
1. “The binary nature of the statements of an individual who has lost social activity"(Grandma said in two)
2. “Optimization of the dynamics of the operation of a draft vehicle, coupled with the elimination of an initially destructive transport unit” (A woman with a cart is easier for a mare)
3. “Weakly expressed relevance of the use of keyboard instruments among people of clergy rank” (Why the butt needs an accordion)
4. " Non-standard methods treatment of scoliosis by providing funeral services" (The hunchbacked grave will correct)
5. " Positive Impact low IQ to increase the set of tasks in the process of implementation labor activity(Work loves fools)
6. “Anthropomorphic approach to creating a marriage cell” (To whom the mare is a bride)
7. “The syndrome of refusal to legitimize, based on the lack of possibilities for quick identification of the individual” (I am not me, and the horse is not mine)
8. “Neutrality of the taste characteristics of cruciferous plants in relation to vegetable crops of central Russia” (Horseradish is not sweeter than radish)
9. “Antithesis properties of mentally disabled subjects in the context of the implementation of state regulations” (No law is written for fools)
Ved. No one will ever be able to give a complete and accurate answer to such questions “Why?”: Why is it a mystery in a woman? Why are there duels over a woman? Why are poems about a woman? Love - for a woman? Suffering because of women? Feats for the sake of women? What kind of miracle is this woman? I think today we will lift the curtain of mystery and 7th and 8th grade will help us with this.
TRAIN
Train driver: We have approached the “Woman – Mystery” station, stop 10 minutes.
TRAIN
Train driver: Station “Tantsevalnaya”, and you are greeted by the combined dance ensemble of the 11th grade “We are few, but we are in vests” with their composition “In the rhythm of the Waltz” (train from “Romashkovo”). And the baton of congratulations is picked up by 10th grade students.
DANCE 10th grade “You tricked me”
Train driver: Dear ladies! A wise saying that no matter what a person does, lunch should be on schedule. Imagine that on our train one entrepreneur, who is an active admirer of Makarenko’s pedagogy, opened a restaurant with an unusual name - “Carrot and Stick”. This restaurant served only signature dishes. Try to guess what they are made of and make a recipe for dishes that are on the restaurant menu: (3 teams).
– salad “First Lesson” (pantomime)
– soup “Change” (song)
– hot dish “Pedagogical advice” (verse)
Guide 1. In spring, feelings come to life, the blood gets excited and you want to listen to poems about love.
Oh, Women! I love you without memory
And I can’t admit, I can’t resist,
When you knock me down with a smile,
And I am ready to love you and suffer.

Spring came. Let's forget about winter...
It suddenly became clear to me:
Why do men live on earth?
So that it would be pleasant for our women!
A sketch about an anonymous letter and happy love.
Nikita. Eh, Lera, Lerachka, Valeria
Lera. Nikita, do you love me?
Nikita. Yes... That is, no, of course not. No. It’s just that real boys always agree first and think later.
Lera. Come on, it was you who gave me the postcard, right?
Nikita. How did you know... that is, where did you get the idea?
Lera. Your handwriting was there
Nikita. Damn, I wrote it in print.
Lera. Well, he admitted it. That means he wrote.
Nikita. Not really! I wrote another letter in print. And you have handwriting there, which means the letters are in capitals.
Lera. Nikita, there are block letters, but it’s your handwriting.
Nikita. How can block letters have handwriting?
Lera. I wanted to ask you, how do you manage to write like that?
Nikita. Yes, why did you even think it was me? How many people still write in block letters?
Lera. Well, why are there four mistakes in the letter, in one word?
Nikita. I don’t know, ask the person who wrote it. And in what word by the way.
Lera. In the word “Love”!
Nikita. How could I have made such a mistake?!
Lera. So, I admitted, you wrote.
Nikita. No, I'm talking about that other letter. There I remembered, I also made four mistakes.
Lera. Nikita, we don’t have many people at school who can make 4 mistakes in the word love. And at the same time, they are interested in something else besides the computer, and in this case...Me!
Nikita. Yah you! Not a single sane piece of evidence.
Lera. And paper. On back side letters are your test!
Nikita. Well... maybe someone snatched the leaflet from me?
Lera. Nikita, often you see that someone rips out of your notebook for tests a leaf without you.
Nikita. I never see it. This is happening without me.
Lera. I can prove that no one did this without you.
Nikita. Well, maybe this happened with me, I don’t remember everything.
Lera. Okay, what about your fingerprints?
Nikita. How could you compare them without special equipment?
Lera. No one else in the school has such big ones.
Nikita. How did you even see them?
Lera. There were big fingerprints in the borscht. There were huge traces of borscht!
Nikita. You never know who eats borscht at our school?
Lera. Few. And of them only you and the cook survive.
Nikita. Listen, exactly. Everything falls into place. Someone tore a piece of paper out of my notebook, forged my handwriting, gave it to me to touch while I was eating borscht and that’s it!
Lera. Nikita, that's enough. You've signed up!
Nikita. Are there not enough Nikitas at our school?
Lera. First name, last name and patronymic.
Nikita. So, they were definitely framed!
Lera. And he put up his own painting!
Nikita. Ooooh!
Lera. Nikita, I love you too!
Nikita. Yes???? Why was I putting on a show here? I would have said so right away!
Conductor 2. 9th grade gives you his congratulations (9th grade speech).
Conductor 1: Citizen-passengers, our high-speed train “Women’s Dream” is approaching the final station “Charm”.
TRAIN
Explorer 2:
The wisest, respected and vulnerable - Elena Vladimirovna, Irina Anatolyevna, Natalya Valerievna, Raisa Andreevna, Marina Grigorievna, Tatyana Borisovna, Svetlana Dmitrievna.
The most reliable are Natalya Georgievna, Inessa Anatolyevna, Victoria Aleksandrovna, Natalya Vladimirovna.
The most charming and gentle - Natalya Alexandrovna, Olga Nikolaevna, Yulia Anatolyevna, Yulia Viktorovna, Irina Anatolyevna
The most resourceful are Natalya Pavlovna Tarasenko, Galina Viktorovna Borovoy.
The most smiling - Yulia Viktorovna, Yulia Alexandrovna, Daria Alexandrovna, Svetlana Alexandrovna Lomakina,
The most hardworking are Olga Nikolaevna Zaitseva, Natalya Vladimirovna Krupskaya, Lyudmila Leonidovna Lysokon.
The most sociable are Nina Albertovna Gabrelyan, Nadezhda Alekseevna Shevchenko, Lyudmila Nikolaevna Koshevaya.
The youngest are Inna Vladimirovna, Elena Sergeevna, Ekaterina Alexandrovna.
All the best beautiful women Our team wishes you a happy spring, good summer, calm autumn, warm winter, happy life.
FINAL SONG.

Presenter: It smelled like March and spring, but winter holds on tightly,
The number eight is not simple - a holiday comes to our homes.
March 8 is a solemn day, a day of joy and beauty.
All over the world he gives women his smiles and flowers.
Drops are dripping loudly near our window,
The birds sang cheerfully - spring has now come to us!

Vedas 1: This beloved holiday goes back to traditions Ancient Rome 1st century BC It was believed that the goddess Juno, the wife of the great Jupiter, was endowed with great power and had enormous capabilities. She had many names, Juno-Calendar, Juno-Coin... She gave people good weather, harvest, good luck in business, she opened every month of the year.

Ved2: But most of all, the Roman women worshiped Juno-Lucia (“the bright one”), the patron of women. She was revered in every home; gifts were brought to her upon marriage and at the birth of a child.

Ved1: The most joyful holiday for the female half of Rome was March 1, dedicated to this goddess. The whole city was transformed, festively dressed women walked with wreaths of flowers in their hands to the Temple of Juno Lucia. They prayed, brought gifts of flowers, and asked their patroness for happiness in the family.

Ved2: The first International Women's Day on March 8 was established in Copenhagen in 1910. Among the initiators wasClara Zetkin. More than a hundred women from 17 countries took part in the conference.

Ved1: March 8 began to be considered the day of international solidarity of working women in the struggle for their rights. I wrote about this eventAlexandra Kollontai, who created one of the first books about International Women's Day.

Ved2: The holiday was first celebrated in 1911 in Germany, Austria, Switzerland and Denmark on March 19.
In Russia, International Women's Day was first celebrated in 1913 in St. Petersburg. And in 1976, International Women's Day was officially recognized by the UN.
Today, March 8 in Russia is a holiday of spring and light, a tribute to the traditional role of a woman as a wife, mother, and friend.

Ved1: Maybe there is a larger date
And probably not alone.
Only on the day of March 8
Spring opens.

Denial of effort
The heat of creativity in the blood
Turns time
To peace, friendship and love.

That's why we lift her up
Affirming being,
Golden number "8"
Like your dignity.

(Musical number)
Ved1: Mom! The most beautiful word on Earth is mom! This is the first word which a person pronounces, and it sounds equally tender in all languages ​​of the world. Mom has the kindest and most affectionate hands, she can do everything.
Ved2: At Mom's the most faithful and sensitive heart - love never fades in it, it does not remain indifferent to anything.
And no matter how old you are - 5 or 50 - you always need your mother, her affection, her gaze. And the greater your love for your mother, the happier and brighter your life!

The 1st presenter appears on the stage - a boy in home clothes, all wrapped in threads, scissors peeking out of his pocket. He has a bunch of scraps in his hands.
- I am for my beloved mother
I wanted to sew a beautiful apron,
Me for my mom
I cut out the dress quickly -
I thought once - and everything is ready!
What's so complicated about this?
It's not clear what happened...
Nothing succeeded!
Nothing to surprise mommy -
Am I going to give this to her?
I thought my mother would be happy
Well, what came out was a bunch of rubbish... (shows shredded material)

The 2nd presenter (a high school student) appears on the stage with a saucepan and a whisk in his hand, covered in flour, with a chef’s hat on.
— Baking a cake is a simple matter,
You just need to take it boldly.
Seven eggs, a little flour,
Three tablespoons of pepper...
Or no, not like that at all!
It turns out to be a mess.
I'm completely confused -
Why put pepper there?
Three hours of torment in the kitchen,
Spilled the cream, burned all my hands,
The result is a burnt crust.
And it doesn't look like a cake.
(to the 1st presenter): - It looks like we’ll have to come up with other gifts, but that’s okay, let’s not be discouraged! After all, real men do not give in to difficulties! (leave)

The presenters appear, dressed in suits, with ties, with flowers in their hands.
Presenter2: - We weekdays let's put everything aside
And we will kneel before our mother,
Thanks to her for what life gave,
She protected us tirelessly and laziness.

Presenter 1: “I can’t express my gratitude to the grandmothers in words.”
For their care, kindness and affection,
For pies with potatoes and mushrooms
And for reading a bedtime story.

Presenter2: - We congratulate you on this day of spring
All our mothers and grandmothers. We wish
Health, happiness, we need you so much,
We can’t imagine how to live without you.

Presenter 1: - Yes, we are not strong in cooking,
And sewing, as it turned out, was a little more difficult.
But we will give you this song,
And we know for sure that we can do this.

(musical number)

Ved1: International Women's Day is a difficult holiday! And it’s not easy because it’s not at all easy to choose the one and only one. best gift for our mothers, grandmothers and sisters. Everything should be special on this day.

Performance by children from the junior level:

1. How courteous our dad is,

So he surprised us all day,

He called his mother charming,

He served her coffee in bed.

Around granny, mother's mother,

In the morning I carefully circled

And he called her Ivanovna,

And he was in a hurry to help in everything.

He looked after everyone politely

And he sang a romance with a guitar,

Showed tricks with a handkerchief

And he danced the waltz with me.

How sweet the house smells of roses,

I won't go to sleep any longer.

What a pity that the day is cheerful and pink

For dad only once a year!

1. Mom has a day off today -

Dad and I decided to give

She's the only one in the kitchen

They were not allowed to enter.

We had a lot to do

Worries and hassles:

Our soup ran away, the pie burned,

And we didn't eat all day!

1. On this day a miracle happened,

Mom doesn’t even have words:

All the dishes have been washed,

The parquet shines like a mirror.

Oh yes Sasha, oh Sasha!

You won't believe your eyes:

He worked hard

I did everything around the house myself!

Miracles! - said mom.

I don't go for bread...

Only once a year!

Musical number

Ved1: Oh, how many smart, kind, wise,
Beautiful women sit here,
And how many wonderful discoveries
We still have to deal with them.

Vedas 2: There are many talents in our school:
Singers, dancers and readers
And for beloved teachers
There will be many kind words.

Students read congratulations to teachers.

Maybe we just got used to it,

But you can’t help but see this:

Teachers usually

Tired eyes in the evening.

We know what it is -

Children are a restless swarm,

You won’t find peace here with just one,

Not like with a whole crowd.

This one is funny, and this one looks askance,

There the fighter is already starting a fight.

And the questions are a thousand questions,

And everyone requires an answer.

How much affection and care is needed,

Help everyone and understand everyone.

Grateful and hard work

Mom is not worried at work,

They always keep an eye on the kids

Kind, tired eyes.

Good feelings know no standard,

To show gratitude.

I would like to say “thank you” to you!

Allow me on this spring day

Congratulations on Women's Day!

(Musical number)

We wish you only happiness,

So that life is cloudless

More sunshine, less bad weather,

More joy and warmth.

May the sky be peaceful above you,

Let the nightingales sing only for you,

Live surrounded by friends

I wish you health, happiness and love!

(Musical number)

Ved1: Attention!
Celebratory telegram received:
“March 8 is the best day.
And on this spring day
We ask all teachers:
Please accept our congratulations!
Have fun, don't be bored
And rest more often,
At home, at work
You were always held in high esteem."

Signature: graduates of the most wonderful fraternal school - school No. 3
(Musical number)
Ved1: And now we will conduct for teachers:
“Smiling women’s holiday workshop”

Questions
1. The sum of means and techniques by which
Baba Yaga can be madeVasilisa the Beautiful. (Cosmetics.)
2. A plant that is responsible with its own head for the relationship between a boy and a girl. (Chamomile.)
3. A lady's dizzying companion. (Aroma.)
4. A reason for a lady to publicly hug her or someone else’s gentleman. (Dance)
5. Part of the body that the groom offers to the lady, complete with a heart. (Hand)
6. A dish that mom often prepares for breakfast in partnership with a cow and a chicken. (Omelette)
7. A household item that escaped from a certain woman named Fedora. (Dishes.)
8. Scientific nail art. (Manicure)
9. Fair device to turn a lady’s head. (Carousel.)
10. It’s time, which is Indian in September. (Summer.)

11. A close relative you can't lose if you don't have her. (Aunt.)
12. The place where the curious Varvara lost her nose. (Bazaar.)
13. Daily cosmetic procedure women, the essence of which is to make yourself blush. (Makeup.)
14. Spades - from Pushkin, with a dog - from Chekhov, with camellias -
from Dumas the son. (Lady.)
15. The place of work of a woman who “hangs” on the
phone. (Telephone exchange.)
16. Author of International Women's Day. (Clara Zetkin).
17. The one that many women sit on. (Diet.)
18. Part of the body through which women paved the way to a man’s heart. (Stomach.)
19. Changeable, like the woman herself. (Fashion.)
20. A green rival to the ruble in a business woman’s wallet. (Dollar.)

Musical number.

High school students come out.

1 Presenter: Our dear women! Have you noticed that today the sun shines in a special way, men smile at you in a special way, and on these festive spring days everyone wants to do only good, bright, good things for you?
2 Presenter: In these days of spring, we want to wish you love, smiles, happiness, success in your feminine (but far from easy!) work!
1 Presenter: What else can I wish for you? After all, all wishes in no way reflect your kindness, fidelity, femininity...
2 Presenter: And therefore we want to wish you that you will always be!.. Judge for yourself, what would happen if suddenly, one day, all the women disappeared?! You can imagine?!
1 Presenter: Uncut, unfed men in unironed trousers are wandering around the city... Hairdressers are closed, service firms are also closed, oh maternity hospitals and there is nothing to say...

1 Presenter: There are no favorite announcers on TV screens. The “Little Swans” dance is performed by four hefty men in shorts and with hairy legs...
2 Presenter: The beauty salons are empty, except for a confused business traveler with an unconvincing pimple on his nose. The ensemble “Beryozka” was accordingly renamed “Oak”.
1 Presenter: Many words and expressions have disappeared. For example: “husband”, “wife”, “mother-in-law” and... favorite word all men - “mother-in-law”.
2 Presenter: Yes, friends, without women, there really is no life and there cannot be!

Musical number

HOST1: Consider that the best gift is a book. You and I know the correct answer. Fur coat? No, take it higher. Well? As the respected one would sayLeonid Arkadievich: automobile!!! And so, now a new concept car will be presented to your attention... But I’m silent, I’m silent: word to the creators!

Two young men in white coats come out.

CONSTRUCTOR 1: Dear friends! Actually, we planned the presentation at the Geneva Motor Show, but for the sake of the holiday (International Women's Day), we will tell you some insider information.

CONSTRUCTOR 2: And so, we present the first women's store J-MOBILE!

CONSTRUCTION 2: Unlike a regular car, there was a section for lipstick - where the cigarette lighter was. The cigarette lighter itself was removed to avoid an unpleasant burning sensation.

CONSTRUCTION 1: If desired, the J-MOBILE can be painted with henna or hydrogen peroxide, and the thresholds can also be increased.

CONSTRUCTOR 2: An important point: the car is a chameleon. Automatically changes color to match your handbag and boots.

CONSTRUCTOR 1: F-MOBILE - it doesn’t skid on the road, it just wags its bumper.

CONSTRUCTOR 2: The Z-MOBILE radio tape recorder fundamentally does not pick up chanson, and automatically replaces it with your favorite hits.

CONSTRUCTOR 2: Every year the J-MOBILE needs not only pendant repairs, but also a new necklace and ring.

CONSTRUCTOR 1: The J-MOBILE has one drawback, it looks too good on traffic police photo radar images.

CONSTRUCTION 2: The J-MOBILE steering wheel is shaped like a torsoBrad Pitt, from which you don’t want to let him go.

CONSTRUCTION 1: The steering wheel automatically gives you a manicure, and the gas pedal gives you a pedicure and a light foot massage.

CONSTRUCTION 2: The machine senses where there is new collection or discounts and it slows down there itself.

CONSTRUCTION 2: The car is washed at least twice with shower gel with violet extract.

CONSTRUCTION 1: There is not only a rear-view mirror, but also a full-length one in the cabin.

CONSTRUCTION 2: To avoid creating a negative image of the owner, the car is equipped with an automatic parking function.

CONSTRUCTOR 1: Well, that's probably all. Does anyone in the room have any questions?

PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: You described everything so colorfully. Does your car have any disadvantages?

CONSTRUCTOR 2: In our opinion, there is only one: the J-MOBILE trunk is made according to the principle of a handbag.

PERSON FROM THE AUDIENCE: That is?

CONSTRUCTOR 2: It has everything you need, you just won’t find what you need.

CONSTRUCTOR 1: Thank you! Wait for sales! Coming soon to AVON and ORIFLAME catalogs!

Ved1: “Cherche la femme

Search a woman",

So every man will say,

Cherche la femme

She is the cause of all causes.

If it weren’t for our lovely women, we probably wouldn’t be in this hall, we wouldn’t be celebrating the first spring holiday.

Ved2: Congratulations on Women's Day,
With the desired spring, and a drop,
And a bright ray of sunshine,
And spring birds with a ringing trill!
More light and goodness,
Health, joy, success,
Peace, happiness and warmth!

Musical number