How to learn to remain calm. How to learn to stop in time and radiate calm when something makes you angry
How sometimes everyone lacks peace of mind. How much easier it would be to endure adversity if you learned to approach everything less emotionally and demandingly. Someone who knows how to control himself and looks calm no matter what happens is much more protected from negative consequences in his life than someone who is used to reacting too violently to everything. To protect yourself and your loved ones, you need to learn to be more calm and restrained than usual, or rather, become calmer. And this can be done at any age.
All diseases are caused by nerves
You can increasingly hear the phrase that all diseases are caused by nerves. Whether this is true, or just a simplified view of existing problems, does not matter. After all, in fact, it is precisely how balanced a person is that can protect him not only from possible problems with psychological health, but also with physical health. Judge for yourself whether constant irritation, anger, hatred or breakdowns that end in screaming and scandals can have a beneficial effect on the psyche or the body as a whole.
In some cases, shouting out is the only way release accumulated tension. But what is it like to hear this for those who are nearby, and the state of health after something like this leaves much to be desired. Therefore, it is much safer not to bring yourself to such a state. And this can be helped not only by discussing problems as soon as they arise on the horizon, but also by taking a calmer attitude towards them.
Learn to let go
Not everything that people worry about is as dangerous and should cause anger and indignation as it seems at first glance. Of course, most will immediately remember a lot of reasons why they cannot be calm. Lack of money, problems in your personal life, difficulties at work, nervous atmosphere on TV, and a lot of other small and big troubles that poison life.
Of course, they are difficult to avoid. To do this you need to be patient and put in some effort. But who said that the speed of their resolution depends on how nervous and worried a person is. Quite the contrary, the more irritated and indignant he is, the more difficult it is to concentrate and deal with what is preventing him from living. And sometimes it makes it impossible. Because in anger people don’t notice the clues, don’t hear sensible advice, are unable to ask for help, they only torment themselves and those around them, wasting their strength and energy.
Our energy is not limitless, it requires careful treatment and time for recovery, and such strong emotions spend it very quickly. And there is no longer any strength left to analyze the available information and take certain actions. Therefore, remember, being calm is not only necessary to protect your health, but also to make it easier to solve the most difficult issues. And this must be realized.
Change your attitude towards what is happening
But even with ready plan, what you should do to be more calm, but without understanding what benefit this will bring, very soon you will give up on everything and everything will return to normal. As you know, success can be achieved only by understanding why you need to endure all the difficulties that will have to be overcome on the way to your goal.
It is impossible to turn into a reasonable and calm person in a click. Everyone has their own character, attitude to life and mental characteristics. Some people are more excitable, while others have been endowed by nature with a strong nervous system and are difficult to anger. And no one can change this. We can only change our attitude towards what is happening in our lives and look at it from a different angle.
When you feel ready to achieve your goal, you realize that you really need it, then it’s time to change. Until that happens, don't waste your time. Otherwise, you will give up even more, and you will decide once and for all that nothing can be changed. Few people endure unsuccessful attempts. They give strength to only a few and force them to try again and again until they succeed. desired result. Everyone else is not used to giving their best and retreats immediately after the first failure, and no longer strives to change their lives.
Determine what type of people you are, and choose the moment when you can become calmer, and not receive another argument that this is impossible, and life will not let you relax for a minute.
Take time for yourself
When you realize that you are ready, start by setting aside time for yourself when no one can disturb you. Even if it’s only 15 minutes a day, it should belong exclusively to you. Don't let anyone invade your personal space and distract you. Given the existing workload, think about what you need to do to protect yourself from calls, requests or conversations, what you need to say to others or where to go so that no one disturbs you. And try to ensure that these 15 minutes are not only 2-3 times a week, but daily. And over time, it is advisable to increase this time. Take this time for yourself. It seems that this is unattainable, but you can be alone with yourself when you listen to music, read a book or watch TV. You just need to learn to disconnect from external stimuli.
In addition, this will allow you to be distracted even at a time when the boss decided to vent his anger, and a passenger in a crowded transport or a driver in a neighboring car showed his upbringing, but it turned out to be below the plinth. In general, you need to train yourself not to pay attention to those who mean nothing in your life.
Make comments
There is no point in overreacting to rude behavior. It is enough to make a remark so that they do not become even more impudent from impunity, but do this only if they cannot harm you and really did it on purpose, and not out of stupidity.
Get rid of irritants
It is better to get rid of those who are not intelligent at all as quickly as possible. No matter what you do, no matter how hard you try to evoke a feeling of peace, you cannot resist nature. And if someone or something really annoys you, there is one way: stop communicating and seeing each other, and do not watch such programs, do not read materials or narrow-minded and offensive comments.
Be sure to identify a list of irritants and start eliminating them from your life. Those that cannot be removed will have to be turned into something that will no longer have a negative effect.
Your reaction is your health!
Remember, not everything can be changed, but you can always change your attitude towards it. When someone is very annoying, imagine him in a stupid position, remember funny story with his participation or naked. Our dissatisfaction is often caused by the fact that we take everyone and everything too seriously. Bring some humor into your life. Laughter prolongs life.
Compared to real tragedies, the stupid behavior of another does not deserve attention at all. The same applies to lack of money and problems in relationships. After all, you should look for a way to correct the situation, and not use them as a reason for worry.
Constant thoughts that “Everything is lost Senya” will not resolve on their own, but you will waste time and the situation will become even more complicated. So get used to reacting to difficulties in life as a challenge that you are able to overcome once they arise, and not as an irritant.
The main thing is to believe!
Believe that you can do anything. It is unlikely that you would have survived to this day if you were absolutely helpless and unable to deal with any difficulties. This means you have no reason to be nervous. Show everything you are capable of, prove to yourself that you know how to be calm and collected when necessary, and everything else is too small and insignificant for you to continue to worry about any reason.
Also, don't try to solve all the world's problems. And be sure to sleep as much as you need; it’s better to stop watching TV series than to spend an extra hour sleeping. A tired nervous system is much more difficult to cope with stress. And, of course, engage in sports that give you pleasure, not forgetting about proper rest, which improves your mood. Haste and excessive workload are catalysts for bad and nervous condition. Without good rest no nervous system, no matter how strong it is, can cope with external stimuli.
Whatever you want to correct in yourself, the main thing is to understand why it is necessary. And then no one can stop you from achieving what you want. And having become much calmer than before, you will be surprised to notice how life around you no longer seems so nervous and complicated. You will find many things in it that will delight you and fill you with hope.
How to Stay Calm: 12 Tips on How to Stay Calm in a Stressful Situation Listed below are twelve tips on how to keep your cool and stay calm in different everyday situations. 1. Try not to be dramatic It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. When a problem affects you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when.” You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently. 2. Think before sharing a problem Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset. 3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a knot. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time. It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination. Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place. 4. Identify the factors that make you angry Are there any certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy—or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day. 5. Realize that you can control your emotions Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind. 6. Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles. When you get home from work, take a few minutes to let your mind calm before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another. 7. Take care of your basic needs Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better. Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps. Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and stay hydrated. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert. 8. Pay attention to your soul and spirit Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga—or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind. 9. Get distracted Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm. 10. Take a day off If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas. 11. Remember to Breathe When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their bellies. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control. During correct breathing belly, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly. 12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring: “You are the sky. Everything else is just weather.” Pema Chodron “A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer. “It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement. "Only important reason stay calm – calm parents hear more. Moderate, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher. “Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.
When I was a little younger, I had big goals and aspirations and a strong desire to achieve them every day of my life. In those days, my greatest desire was to live each day with dignity and peace of mind - to be equanimous and move peacefully from one task to another with concentration and calm, controlled energy.
Does everything seem simple? Perhaps not. But there are steps we can take to at least stay calm more often. Why be calm? Damn it, because it feels fantastic! Anger and impatience wear on our hearts, our souls, and our families. When we control our emotions, we get more done, communicate better, and live more productive and purposeful lives.
Below are twelve recommendations on how to keep your cool and remain calm in different everyday situations.
1. Try not to be dramatic
It is very easy to dramatize and make mountains out of molehills. In any stressful situations When a problem concerns you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words “always” and “when.” You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle this,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem differently.
Don't talk about, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a little. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. This only adds fuel to the fire and makes you even more upset.
3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm
Here's what helps me: I try to think of the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull at the ends, the tighter the knot gets. But when I focus completely, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.
It also helps if you imagine yourself acting calm and focused. Stop shouting and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become the calm and calm person you see in your imagination.
Here's another trick: Do you know anyone who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.
4. Identify the factors that drive you crazy
Are there certain situations that make you feel out of control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy—or too quiet? Knowing your personal triggers will help you stay calm throughout the day.
5. Realize that you can control your emotions
Think back to times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly change your mind. Remember that you can repeat this by knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.
6.Create a calm environment with relaxing rituals
If calm music comforts you, take advantage of it. If silence calms you, take advantage of it. Maybe you'll play soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light some scented candles.
When you get home from work, take a few minutes to let your mind calm before diving into family matters. Sit in your car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Take off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.
7.Take care of your immediate needs
Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I become irritable when my blood sugar is low. However, all I have to do is eat something nutritious and I feel (relatively) better.
Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical stress, which in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of jogging for half an hour, I do kickboxing. It helps.
Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and stay hydrated. Drink a big glass of water and see if you feel better, calmer and more alert.
8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit
Depending on your religious preferences, meditate or pray. Practice yoga—or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help you control your busy mind.
9. Take a break
Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.
10.Take a day off
If I fight like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure that I need it. If I can overcome myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always come back calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.
11.Don't forget to breathe
When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe from their belly. It still works - for them and for me. Breathing from your diaphragm helps relieve tension immediately and gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. Often this time is enough to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.
During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, place your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand rises as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.
12. Reflect on quotes that can help calm your mind.
Here are some quotes that I find inspiring:
“You are heaven. Everything else is just weather." Pema Chodron
“A calm, focused mind, not aimed at harming others, is more powerful than any physical force in the universe.” Wayne Dyer.
“It’s no use rushing life. If I live on the run, then I live wrong. My habit of rushing will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn to give time to everything. If I sacrifice my life for the sake of haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. This means taking time to think. Without haste, you can get everywhere.” Carlos Petrini is the founder of the “slow food” movement.
“The single most important reason to remain calm is that calm parents hear more. Moderate, receptive parents are the ones whose children keep talking." Mary Pipher.
“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be at peace with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.
How to stay calm under pressure? How to remain cool, calm and not nervous in stressful, conflict and any other situations critical situations? A quarrel with a loved one, a traffic jam on the way to work, a conflict with the boss, a child having a tantrum, a colleague’s disrespectful attitude, a queue at the supermarket, etc. Often we find ourselves in difficult situations, in which it is quite difficult to remain calm. Surely you are familiar with this state when emotions go off scale, your nerves are on edge and you are completely unable to make a reasonable decision. It may even be that someone made you so angry that all you could do was scream and vent your anger at the person who made you so angry.In this article, psychologist Mairena Vazquez will share with you 10 tips and techniques for staying calm and equanimous in any situation.
Keep calm
In our crazy pace of life, it is very important to remain calm in order to make the right decisions. Many people live in stress because we have to study, work, maintain a home and family, earn money, solve various family and other problems...
Neuropsychological
Sometimes so many problems come at once that it seems to us that everything is very bad, and we catch ourselves thinking: “Well, why do I need this?” Under such circumstances, it is extremely important to learn to control yourself. Let's talk more about what this means.
Staying calm is the ability to remain calm in any situation, to remain patient and optimistic, especially in circumstances where we feel we have no control over what is happening.
Tension, nervousness and everything associated with them negative consequences accumulate in our body and can cause various health problems.
This is why it is vital to learn techniques to remain calm in order to best deal with any difficult situation.
Why Calm is Important: 10 Ways to Stay Calm
10 ways to remain calm and equanimous in any situation
What are the ways and methods to achieve peace of mind? The way we are able to act under stress or conflict situations, is the key point. Of course, it is very difficult to remain calm if we are irritated or someone is making us angry. So we'll give you 10 tips on how to learn to stay calm.
When we are nervous or upset, our body sends us different signals: The pulse quickens, the temperature rises, the voice becomes louder, the muscles tense... At such moments, remember these tips, perhaps they will help you cope with the situation with dignity:
1. Identify red flags
First of all, learn to pay attention to the signals that your body sends in situations of tension and stress. It is important to be able to determine how your body reacts in such circumstances. so that you can then pull yourself together.
If you can change the situation, do it for your own peace of mind. If you can control your thoughts, you are halfway to victory.
How to stay calm? Believe in yourself and your ability to achieve your goals. Remember that even after the darkest night, the dawn comes. First of all, don't panic. No matter how difficult and stressful the situation may be, it will not last forever and you will be able to overcome it.
Some people, in order to calm down, start drinking coffee or grab a cigarette, thinking that this will help. However, this is a misconception.
Another mistake is consuming huge quantities of flour and sweets, as well as adding large quantity sugar in food.
Not only coffee, but any other drink containing caffeine makes us even more nervous. Sugar-containing foods also have the opposite effect of what we want: instead of calming us down, they give us energy, so we can feel even more excited.
So, what food will help you find peace and not be nervous?
Experts recommend in such cases dark chocolate And foods rich in vitamin C: strawberries, oranges etc., since they help reduce the level of cortisol (stress hormone), as well as various relaxing drinks (for example, valerian or linden tea).
For those who, to calm down, begin to “pounce” on the refrigerator, Chewing gum recommended (no sugar)– this will help you calm down and reduce tension. Try chewing slowly, consciously, enjoying the taste: your attention will focus on the chewing gum and will help take your mind off the problem.
7. Nature is your ally
In difficult and stressful moments, it is very important to “move away” from the situation not only mentally, but also physically. Find a quiet place where you are comfortable and comfortable, and think about anything other than what is bothering you.
If you have the opportunity to go outdoors, do it! Forest, mountains, beach - everything that is available to you. Nature will help you relax.
8. The importance of physical activity
How to become equanimous and remain cool in any situation? Move, be active! Walking is highly recommended. Depending on your physical fitness You can simply take a walk or go for a run - this is a great way to “disconnect” from problems, release pent-up energy and clear your mind.
It doesn’t matter what kind of exercise you do, but even a short walk is always much better than sitting locked up at home alone with your thoughts. Physical activity helps manage emotions and release endorphins, which makes us happy.
If you don't like running and prefer something else, you can find any other alternative - swimming, dancing, Pilates, yoga or - all of these activities help relieve accumulated tension and stress.
Exercise helps you manage your emotions and stay calm
9. Forgive, forget and keep a sense of humor
Sometimes we are faced with situations in which various reasons we feel guilty and are very worried about it.
In such cases, to maintain calm, it is important to realize the mistakes you have made and try to forgive yourself in order to get rid of this feeling of guilt. If we are sure that we have made a mistake, we need to be able to forgive ourselves and give ourselves another chance.
Try to see positive side in what is happening and approach the situation with a sense of humor. Laugh at yourself, above the circumstances, even if it seems difficult to you!
10. Congratulate and encourage yourself!
You and I know that maintaining calm and equanimity in any situation is not an easy task. It requires patience, practice, desire and willpower - all these qualities will not let you feel defeated even when it is very difficult and it seems that everything is out of control.
Congratulate yourself on what you accomplished! You did it! You have shown yourself to be a mature person, capable of managing your emotions and actions. Be proud of yourself! Even if you made a mistake in something, it’s not scary, don’t punish yourself - next time you can do better! In addition, mistakes allow you to know yourself, and if a similar situation occurs in the future, you will not repeat them.
“Magia es creer en ti mismo.”
Learning how to be calm in any situation in the ocean of life is simply necessary. Problems rain down on the heads of the inhabitants of planet Earth as if from a cornucopia. Ecology, politics, social upheavals, economics, psychological state society as a whole and each individual individually - nowhere is there even a hint of stabilization of the situation.
Not everyone can isolate themselves from everyone with a high fence or go to a desert island - there simply aren’t enough islands and fences, but trying to become a self-confident and balanced person is possible for everyone.
Do I need this?
Holders certain types temperament initially have this ability. It was born with them, and helps to maintain equanimity in all situations throughout life path. It's about about phlegmatic people who cannot be nervous, these unsinkable cruisers of calm and confidence. But, firstly, there are not so many pure types of temperament in nature, and, secondly, having mastered the techniques of how to learn to remain calm, you can teach this to your family and loved ones.Those representatives of society should master techniques for regulating their internal state:
- who find it difficult to control emotions;
- who avoids difficult questions and difficult situations;
- to whom every little thing gets on your nerves;
- who are worried about upcoming difficulties, real or imagined;
- who dreams of always being a discreet person.
Why you shouldn't be nervous
Maybe, well, this training on having calmness? Everyone is nervous, and somehow they survive, and some also manage to look great at the same time, build a career, defend dissertations, and start families. However, not everything is so rosy; there are many reasons why you shouldn’t be nervous.- If you get nervous, you will lose control of the situation, and then whoever wants to take you with their bare hands.
- If you get nervous, family relationships in all verticals will suffer (husband-wife, children-parents, etc.).
- If you get nervous, you will receive something like a boomerang effect from those around you, and your emotion will return to you, only in double the size. Do you need this?
- If you get nervous, you will get vasospasm, and everything that follows (migraine, atherosclerosis, stroke).
- If you get nervous, your body will begin to increase production of the hormone cortisol, which destroys brain cells and nitrogenous decomposition of muscles.
Learning to be calm
Before you start mastering techniques that allow you to experience and then return this blissful state at will, it is advisable to find a picture that will personify this calmness for you and place it in your immediate environment.This could be wallpaper on your computer desktop, a wall calendar, a poster on the wall depicting a peaceful landscape, a sleeping child, sunsets and sunrises, a starry sky, in general, anything that will be a symbol of peace for you.
The following four techniques were proposed by the French psychologist E. Pigani, in order to artificially induce and consolidate a feeling of calm.
“Jar of Honey” - a technique for slowing down movements
You need to choose some routine action that you do every day “automatically,” quickly and without thinking. This could be cleaning the closet, washing dishes, taking a shower, making tea, or any other type of simple activity. Breathing slowly and deeply, you need to slow down your movements as much as possible.
Now attention is directed to every movement, to the feeling of contact with the object being used. To make it more believable, you can imagine yourself immersed in a huge jar of honey, and slow down your movements even more.
The purpose of this exercise is to stop being nervous, quickly recover in stressful situations, and feel your presence “here and now” with all the acuteness.
“Jar of Rice” - a technique for training patience
To do this, you need to count the grains of rice, transferring them from one glass to another. Have you recalculated? Write down how much you got, and then do everything in reverse order. The results, of course, should be the same. If you want to grumble, remember that in a Buddhist monastery you would be forced to number each grain of rice.
“Food Pot” - mindful eating
Attitudes towards food in the times of fast food and convenience foods, frozen desserts and ready-made meals from the supermarket have undergone significant changes compared to the beginning of the last century. However, the human body, both then and now, is able to send a signal of satiety to the brain only 20-30 minutes after the start of the action of digestive juices.
Start your first meal by eating slowly, chewing slowly, and slowly breaking off pieces of the served dish. You need to sit with a straight back and straight neck, bring cutlery to your mouth slowly, and eat calmly. Satiety signals will reach the brain on time, less food will be needed, slim figure is provided along with the ability not to be irritated while eating.
“Empty Pot” - a technique for listening to silence
Every week you need to set aside five (just five!) minutes to listen to silence. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers, dim the lights. You need to sit comfortably, without tension, with your hands on your hips. Left hand lies on the right thumb right hand- on the left palm, does not press it, but simply lies there.
With your eyes closed, you need to focus on the sensations at the point where your finger touches your palm. In this position, listen to silence for five minutes. After two months, meetings with silence take place every day. During them you can think about good and evil. The feeling of how to remain calm will be consolidated over time, it can be easily evoked in order not to be nervous and to be balanced in any conflict situation.
Controlling negative emotions
Zen Buddhists believe that every negative emotion is a message that needs to be read and released. They compare negative emotions to fire and water, saying that it is easier to cope with a fire that has just started and a leaky faucet when you immediately begin to fix the problem. As always, this is easier said than done, however, there is technology here that helps put everything in order.- Make a list of the 14 most frequently experienced negative emotions(anxiety, shame, hatred, melancholy, envy, rancor, etc.).
- Separate these emotions from your inner self. For example, not “I am jealous,” but “I feel jealous,” not “I am guilty,” but “I feel guilty,” continue according to the pattern.
- Remember the strongest attack of anger, its cause, your feelings at the same time, physical sensations. Well, where is this anger now?
- Let's return to the list from the first point. Now we need to determine what service each emotion served. “Anxiety helps you be alert.” “Embarrassment helps you adapt to strangers.”
- In the future, if you feel an increase in negativity, try to determine how this emotion can be useful. Most likely, now, having realized this, you will no longer become her hostage.
For every stress there is... an anti-stress
If you want to assess the level of stress in your life, you can use the “social conformity scale” of American psychologists T. Holmes and R. Rahe, who rated every event in the life of an average person on a 100-point scale. In first place there is the death of a spouse (100 points), and in last place are the New Year holidays (12 points) and minor violation law (11 points).The sum of points is used to calculate the level of stress and (attention!) the risk of getting sick. We don’t need such problems - to help ourselves and not get irritated, we will do “Anti-stress” exercises.
Let's pretend
The exercise is effective at any level of stress. You need to feign calmness, this creates a feeling of relaxation, and after a few minutes real calm comes. Here you need to be a bit of an actor, convince yourself that you are playing the role of a calm person. The secret here is that our subconscious always takes everything at face value - by believing you, it influenced external condition.
Smile and yawn
Every psychology textbook gives an example of how, when you smile, 42 facial muscles give a signal nervous system, starting the process of regulating breathing, removing muscle tension, releasing “happiness hormones”. It works even with a forced, forced smile, and instantly. The same effect is produced by a wide yawn, which prevents irritation and brings relaxation.
Let's understand the world around us
The most the best remedy when stress increases, maintain contact with your own self. To achieve this, you need to observe what is happening as if from the outside, act somewhat detached. You must not lose attention and control over the situation; tell yourself all your actions. When you leave the house, say to yourself: “I am leaving the house.” When you wash the dishes, say to yourself: “I am washing the dishes.” When you turn on your computer, say to yourself, “I’m turning on the computer.”
Do you think this is too primitive? But “everything ingenious is simple”, you just need to try it and make sure it’s effective simple tips, which will help you always be confident in your peace of mind and not get irritated over trifles.