How to hold back your tears when you want to cry? How to learn to hold back tears and emotions from resentment, during a conversation, in a difficult situation? How to restrain yourself and not cry? Advice from a psychologist.

15.10.2019 -

Many people are familiar with the condition when, hearing an offensive word addressed to them, or unpleasant news, tears treacherously come to their eyes and they want to cry, and it can be difficult to hold them back. This article will tell you and teach you some techniques that will help you hold back tears.

People are all very different and each person reacts differently to various events in life and situations. Some, no matter what happens, can survive without shedding a single tear. Others will cry even for the most innocent reasons.

Tears happen various reasons: a speck gets into the eye, an allergic reaction, inflammation, eye fatigue, sometimes lacrimation appears in a strong wind. In these cases, the help of an ophthalmologist is often required to help solve the problem. But it’s hard to hold back emotional tears. Sometimes you hear unpleasant, perhaps even completely unfair, accusations addressed to you, or the action of a friend or loved one evokes in your soul negative emotions. And immediately tears come to the eyes, and are about to burst out, and at the wrong time and in the wrong place. Is it possible to somehow keep them at such a moment? Although it is difficult, there are some tips on how to behave.

How not to cry

You need to take deep breaths and exhale sharply several times.
If possible, drink large sips of water.
You can also make several active movements, for example, swatting away an annoying fly, picking up a fallen pen.
You need to learn to switch your attention at the right moment, for example, look into the distance, look at the details of surrounding objects, watch the work of builders outside the window. Or you can remember something pleasant or even funny.
It wouldn’t hurt to count to ten or more, remember a poem you once memorized, or the lyrics of a song, or even mentally read a prayer.
You might come to your senses and remember that you had to make an urgent call.
Very effective method- deceive the brain, that is, switch it from emotional sensations to physical ones: discreetly pinch yourself until it hurts in a particularly sensitive place, bite your tongue or lip, just don’t overdo it, so that you don’t have to heal the wounds later. Physical pain will be more important for the brain and it will be distracted from the offense.
You can laugh to yourself at the offender, imagining him in some funny position. You can even feel sorry for him, imagining how, for example, his spouse humiliates him.

How to behave at the moment when a tear has already come

You need to open your eyes as wide as possible and keep it that way.
Try not to blink.
You should raise your eyebrows high and hold them until your feelings calm down.
Look up without raising your head.
Relax your facial muscles, move your jaws several times, opening and closing your mouth wide.
Open the window and breathe in fresh air.
If possible, you should leave the room, go to the toilet, wipe wet wipe temples and forehead, wet your hands up to the elbows cold water.

Sometimes you need to cry

Don't forget that crying is sometimes good. Tears help to relax psychologically and are a physiological defense against stress. Left alone with yourself, you can give free rein to tears, even sob, wailing, in this way you can relieve not only accumulated emotions, but also the physiological pressure - after all rib cage while actively shaking.

Tears are the body's reaction to stress, an emotional release. It even has an analgesic effect to some extent. From time to time, you even need to give vent to tears, relieve emotional stress, so that there are no serious disruptions to your health.

Bye everyone.
Best regards, Vyacheslav.

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We are all different and react differently to the world around us. Some almost burst into tears, while others you will never get a tear out of.Both extremes have their drawbacks. Crying for any reason - in front of friends, employees or complete strangers - is extremely unpleasant. On the other hand, experiencing all problems “dry” can lead to the accumulation of tension and even health problems. Psychologist Maria Pugacheva helped us figure out how to find a middle ground.

Why are we different?

The predisposition to shedding tears depends on personal characteristics person: character, temperament, upbringing, metabolism and even memories. If a person associates a situation with an unpleasant memory or mental trauma, then it may well cause him to cry, although those around him will not see anything terrible in it.

It is practically impossible to do anything with this predisposition, just as it is impossible to change the type of temperament. “Tears are, first of all, a physiological reaction, a protective reaction to stress. There is very little psychology here, so learning to control tear production is almost impossible. But you can try to reduce the level of stress as much as possible at the moment of onset of crying, then there is a chance to stop the tears.”,” explained Maria Pugacheva.

I'm not crying!

People who cry often sometimes find themselves in situations where tears flow at the most inopportune moment. The boss unfairly scolded them, the trainer at the gym made a remark, or they were rude on the bus, and now they have a lump in their throat, their voice begins to tremble treacherously, their eyes become moist. But you don’t want to cry in front of strangers! But tears don’t care about what you want, they flow on their own, and this makes you even more hurt and makes you want to cry even more...

Maria Pugacheva gave some tips to help hold back tears that come at the wrong moment:

Have a drink large number water in large sips.
Take 5-10 deep breaths and exhalations.
If possible, make some sudden, intense movements.
Induce a “pain response” in yourself by shifting stress from psychological to physiological. Subtly pinch yourself, bite your tongue a little, or pull a strand of hair. This method usually allows you to come to your senses fairly quickly.
Switch your brain from stressful situation: start remembering poems, phone numbers, multiplication tables in your mind.
If a specific offender brought tears to your eyes, do not feel sorry for yourself, but switch to him. Mentally laugh at him - remember his ridiculous habits or in your imagination dress him in a clown costume.

Crying is good for you

These techniques will help you hold back your tears in the right situation. But you shouldn’t try to do this all the time, because Psychologists say that crying is healthy.

"Tears are a kind of psychological release and physiological protection against stress. Therefore, there is no need to constantly restrain them. Feel free to cry over a movie or just to yourself at home. If we just quietly shed a tear, it’s a tiny release. And when we actively cry, we take a lot of deep breaths and exhalations, the chest contracts greatly. In this way, we throw off the negativity at the physiological level, giving ourselves the opportunity to avoid various psychosomatic pressures that can lead to osteochondrosis, radiculitis and other unpleasant diseases,”– explained Maria Pugacheva.

Do you often cry? Have you ever found yourself in uncomfortable situations because of this?

On the site “Beautiful and Successful” today we will talk about how to hold back your tears and not cry at the most inopportune moment. Any situation can lead to tears, especially during a woman’s “hormonal storm.” But it is not always appropriate to give them free rein.

There are women who skillfully manipulate tears to gain concessions at work or attention in their personal lives.

But what if you don't want anyone to see how upset you are?

Any psychologist will tell you that if you want to cry, then you don’t need to restrain yourself. – this is the body’s reaction to stress, an emotional release that quickly relieves nervous tension.

Unfortunately, the place, time, and often the pride of the “victim” herself does not always allow this to be done. Just remember what a lonely girl sobbing bitterly looks like on the street. She evokes pity among passers-by and a desire to help. This is the best case scenario.

Many people prefer to just stare or even shy away from such a sight. Crying in the street is not accepted. It is believed that a person who does not know how to hold back tears from resentment is weak; that there must be a reasonable reason for shedding “tears in public.”

Holding back tears means staying in shape, with normal makeup, complexion and eye size, and emerging from the situation as a winner.

Crying at work means giving rise to gossip. Some recruiters prefer to conduct interviews in a tough style to check whether the applicant is able to work in stressful situations or under pressure (we talked about the so-called).

So, information on how to learn to hold back your tears with composure is in modern world might come in handy.

Trick your brain

There are several ways to force the brain to concentrate on other sensations and “forget” about emotions:

Pinch yourself in a sensitive place, e.g. inside thighs or arms, bite your lip. This way the body will focus on physical sensations, and emotions will fade into the background.
Hold your breath and try to hold out as long as possible, the body will put aside non-essential matters in order to prepare for a possible emergency.

How to hold back tears when talking - first aid

In a situation where you have been unfairly offended and a lump comes to your throat, the site recommends using several techniques to control sobs:

Inhale slowly, focusing completely on the process of inhalation and exhalation.
Switch your attention to something else, there must be a lot of small details. For example, remember the multiplication table or mentally recite your favorite poem, remember a colleague’s phone number, or count the leaves on a flower branch.
Drink water - slowly, in small sips, concentrating on the process.
Your task is to reduce the intensity of stress at the moment when tears come to your throat. You can effectively relieve tension with a few sharp movements. Walk around the room, open the window, push back your chair.
If possible, try to immediately leave the room where the conflict occurred. During times of stress, any word of sympathy or pity from a “third” party is not a way to hold back tears from sudden resentment, but a password that opens the “heavenly abysses.”
Go to the ladies' room and wet your temples, forehead, arms to elbows, and neck with cold water. This will help overcome stress.
Keep your eyes open as wide as possible and try not to blink.
Try to look distantly past people’s faces, preferably into the distance.
Raise your eyebrows high and hold it there until the emotions subside.
Raise your eyes up without raising your head.
Relax your jaw muscles, open and close your mouth wide several times.

How to learn to hold back your tears

If the reason for your tears is a person who offended you, for example, an angry boss, then you need to do everything so that your resentment towards him is firmly replaced by another, no less strong emotion, preferably the opposite one.

Imagine how his wife nags him for not bringing out the Christmas tree in May, how he was teased at school or how afraid he is of spiders. The resentment will immediately decrease and you will feel more cheerful.

Since it is difficult to hold back tears during an emotional conversation, it is better to “work on mistakes” when the emotions subside. Think about whether this situation will worry you six months or a year later? No? So there was no point in crying about her.

“Turn on” this question in your head every time you start to choke sobs. Remember which word or expression caused negative emotions in you? Why did you react this way? Perhaps you didn't like the raised tone? What would your more stress-resistant friend or the girl in the sedative advertisement do in this situation?

If you get upset and cry too often, you're probably not getting enough sleep. Inadequate sleep is a one hundred percent guarantee that decisive moment you won’t be able to hold back your tears and burst into tears.

It wouldn't hurt to strengthen it a little nervous system, for example, take a course of vitamins or dietary supplements with Omega-3 acids.

If you care about literally every little thing, then perhaps you should consult a specialist about the functioning thyroid gland. Crying is a way of self-regulation of the body that will protect your spine and pancreas. Therefore, having mastered the technique of how to hold back your tears, do not forget to have a good cry when you are alone, so that the restrained emotions do not harm you.

Unfortunately, there are many reasons for tears, especially for women. There are times when crying is not even a sin at all, but on the contrary – an emotional release. But it happens when tears, especially in front of others, cause aggression or can simply harm the cause. How to learn to hold back tears in such situations and learn not to cry when you really want to?

How to hold back your tears when you want to cry

Tears usually appear when the body experiences strong emotional shock caused by external stimuli. In this case, the first thing you need to do is switch your attention.

For example, the threat of danger that motivates action distracts a person from self-pity and mobilizes forces for protection. What needs to be done to quickly cause such a reaction?

To hold back tears, pinch yourself discreetly, bite your lip or tongue. Painful sensations will instantly return you, as they say, to the ground and you will not want to cry. Just don’t overdo it, so as not to harm your health and not frighten those around you with blood flowing down your chin.

Another way to learn not to cry difficult situation, lies in an even, deep breathing nose. As soon as tears come, take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale slowly through your mouth. Similar breathing exercises used by yogis, psychologists and anyone who wants to achieve peace and harmony or learn to control anger and tears.

The method of switching attention is also very effective. At the moment when you want to cry, think about something completely unrelated or start looking at the objects around you down to the smallest detail. To hold back your tears, you can also count to ten or twenty, remember the words of a song or poem, and finally, you can read a prayer.

How to learn to hold back tears if there are people nearby who are capable of sympathy and you are sure that they will feel sorry for you? It’s very simple, try not to be distracted by them. Because just one look at the expression on such a person’s face will not leave a single chance to hold back your tears.

And despite various situations, do not forget that tears are an important element in a person’s life, which is both psychological and physiological. Tears can remove toxic substances from the body and relieve emotional stress.

Moreover, if you are an impressionable person prone to melancholy, you should not hold back your crying. At the very least, having dealt with the situation with dignity, retire and pay off everything that has accumulated.

How to hold back your tears when you really want to cry

Every morning, standing in front of the mirror and looking into your eyes, repeat that you are strong, smart, that you are really better than everyone, that you are not afraid of anything or anyone, that you will be able to overcome absolutely all life’s obstacles.

You can withstand any suffering, no one will break your will or force you to bow to anyone. In this way, you will instill desire and confidence in yourself, become stronger, and no tears and sobs will overcome you, you will be able to look at yourself from a different perspective and draw certain conclusions.

However, each medal has reverse side. As already mentioned, crying is a surge of emotions, and emotions need to be given free rein from time to time, in other words, “let off steam.”

In case of urgent need, when you cannot understand what to do, if you want to cry, it is better to retire, cry alone or turn to to a loved one who will listen to you and treat you with understanding. Speak out, share your impressions, ask for advice. If you cry all your tears, it will become much easier.

Why do people's eyes water?

Possible damage or debris

If your eyes are watering uncontrollably and this is not associated with any emotional experiences, you should carefully examine the mucous membrane. Perhaps there is damage or speck on it that does not cause the feeling of the presence of something foreign, but the eyes are watery. Try rinsing your eyes with cool water; if the tearing persists, consult an eye doctor.

Inflammation

Tearfulness is sometimes the cause of inflammation in the eyes. Bacterial, viral, fungal and other infections are accompanied by tearing. In this case, you should immediately contact an ophthalmologist, who will prescribe eye drops containing antibiotics. It is not recommended to use such drops on your own.

Allergy

How to stop tears if they are caused allergic reaction. Here, as in the previous paragraph, you should either consult a doctor (if this is the first time) or take antiallergic medicine in a timely manner.

Tears from onions

To learn not to cry when cutting onions, you need to first moisten the knife and onion with cool water. The substance that causes tears dissolves in water and does not enter the air, preventing tearing.

Tearfulness due to eye fatigue

Increased tearfulness due to eye fatigue can be relieved with compresses made from tea leaves. Soak cotton swabs in the tea leaves and apply to your eyes for fifteen to twenty minutes before going to bed. This procedure also helps with minor inflammatory process.

Emotional tears

It is difficult to stop tears caused by emotional experiences. If something serious has happened and the tears tearing out are practically choking you, don’t hold them back, cry and let the negativity out. If we're talking about about an insult, insult or other conflict, in order to hold back the tears, try to sharply switch your thoughts and remember something good. These manipulations will distract you from what is happening and you will be able to restrain the outburst of emotions.

What to do if you want to cry, but you can’t

We are all very different and react differently to events happening in the world around us. Some people are practically indifferent to everything, while others immediately burst into tears when any stressful situation arises. Meanwhile, crying in front of friends, colleagues or strangers is always unpleasant. So how to hold back tears in a situation where showing them to your interlocutors is highly undesirable?

To hold back tears, discreetly pinch yourself inner part thighs or other particularly sensitive area of skin. Pain is always of paramount importance to the brain, which means this trick will help you easily isolate yourself from the cause of your tears. The main thing is not to overdo it and not cause an attack of tears provoked by pain.

To hold back your tears, remove yourself from the situation: realize that you allegedly forgot about this or that important and urgent matter and hastily leave.

Try to hold your breath for a while. By concentrating on it, you can easily stop the attack of tears and take your emotions under strict control.

Bite your lower lip. This trick is somewhat similar to the first proposed method, and is aimed at “deceiving” the body, refocusing its attention on painful sensations. The main thing is not to leave marks on the lip and not to bite it until it bleeds.

Think in advance about what thoughts can distract you from the current situation at a critical moment. Alternatively, these could be memories of one or another pleasant, positive event, or attempts to solve pressing, pressing everyday problems. To hold back tears, try to solve several problems at the same time or try to mentally recite your favorite poem, sing lines from your favorite song, remember the multiplication table.

If you have the opportunity, make several sharp, intense movements.

Concentrate your attention on a particular object located in the distance and begin to study it most carefully. The main thing is not to look into the face of a person who can make you cry. If it is difficult to avoid looking at him directly, then try to mentally laugh at him. Think about the bully's ridiculous habits or imagine him dressed in a ridiculous clown costume.

Now you know how to hold back tears in the right situation. However, do not use the above techniques constantly: psychologists say that tears are best way psychological relaxation and physiological protection from stress.

How to learn not to cry if you really want to

We are all very different. And we react differently to everything around us. It is impossible to knock even a tear out of some, while others, just a moment, immediately burst into tears. Both have their drawbacks. Crying for any reason, and even in front of strangers, co-workers, friends, is quite unpleasant.

On the other hand, it is impossible to go through all problems “dry”, as this can lead to mental stress and deterioration of health. Let's try to figure out how to learn to hold back tears.

People who cry often sometimes end up in awkward situations when tears begin to flow like a river, and even at the wrong moment. For example, the boss shouted, the teacher made a stern remark during class, they were rude in public transport.

And now they have a lump in their throat, their voice trembles treacherously, and tears roll into their eyes. But you really don’t want to cry and show your weakness in front of strangers! But the tears don’t care about this, they flow on their own. This makes it even more offensive and makes you want to burst into tears.

You should drink as much water as possible in large sips;
Take 10 deep breaths and breaths;
If possible, make several intense, sharp movements;
Switch stress from psychological to physical. Use this method: pinch yourself, bite your tongue, pull your hair. Usually this method allows you to quickly come to your senses;
Start remembering the multiplication tables, phone numbers, etc. in your mind;
If the tears are caused by someone in particular, dress him in your imagination in some funny costume, or imagine him in the form of a gray mouse with huge ears or in the form of a toad with huge slanting eyes.

This is very effective ways hold back tears in the right situation. But don’t try to stop crying completely, as psychologists say that sometimes crying is even beneficial.

Tears are a type of psychological release and a physiological defense against stress. Therefore, there is no need to hold back tears all the time. You don’t have to feel embarrassed to cry while watching a sad movie or a tragic story on the news.

Even if we quietly shed a small tear, this is considered a small but necessary release. But when we cry very hard, we take active deep breaths and exhales. Thanks to this, we throw off all the negativity at the physiological level. If this does not happen, we will create psychopathic clamps that lead to radiculitis and osteochondrosis.

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A physiological feature of a person is the ability to cry. From early childhood, a person gives signals to his parents by crying. In adult life Tears help to express feelings, relieve one’s own emotional state. But everything is appropriate in moderation. It is necessary to stop in time and know how to stop crying in order to maintain emotional and physical health.

In some cases, crying needs to be hidden. If you feel tears blurring your eyes and ready to appear, use physical and psychological techniques to stop them.

Preventing tears by physical means

People cry, but not everyone knows how to stop the tears. Some people are so sensitive that they throw out their feelings at any emotional event. If you feel like tears are about to flow, try blinking frequently or stopping blinking altogether.

The physiological characteristics of some are such that blinking or not blinking and wide opening of the eyelashes cause the tear fluid to be evenly distributed and absorbed into the tear ducts. When the eyes are opened, tense muscles stop producing new tears. You can only determine which of these methods is right for you through experience. Turn on a romance drama or another movie that evokes emotions and practice.

Go from the opposite. Do you want to cry? Smile. This is the opposite effect of crying. In addition, a smile makes you look good to others. Laugh out loud. This has a beneficial effect on the entire body. A smile relieves irritation, negativity and prevents... Remember funny moments or look around you and find something that makes you laugh.

Stop your tears by holding your nose. The phenomenon of this method is based on the laws of physiology. The tear ducts run from the bottom of the eyelids to the side of the nose. Blocking the pathways with the eyes closed prevents crying. This method works at the very beginning of the desire to cry.

Relax. Muscle relaxation- a way to calm and relax.

The technique consists of sequential tension and relaxation different groups muscles:

tense and relax the muscles of your toes;
move to your ankles;
Tighten and relax your pelvic muscles.

Distract yourself with pinching, hair pulling, or other painful stimulation. This distraction is only good if after pinching the skin remains white without bruising. No need to torture yourself, try it different ways to prevent crying.

Learn to control own body. If you feel that tears are close, start moving: clench and unclench your fists, stand up, walk around. Use your muscles, sometimes all it takes is a little effort to stop crying.

Scientists have proven that often the source of crying is passivity and a feeling of helplessness. Make an effort to control yourself. Remind your own consciousness that you lead it and all actions are performed only with your approval.

If all of the above methods fail, retreat. Leave the room to stop the conflict from escalating and contain your emotions. Take steps to completely calm down and only then return to the conversation.

Psychological methods to prevent tears

Do you have willpower? Can you withstand emotional stress? Every time you decide to cry, think that you will allow yourself to do it a little later. Take control of your emotional outbursts, even though it will be difficult. Taking a deep breath and focusing will help you.

Focus your thoughts on preventing crying. Gradually, you will learn to control your thoughts and be able to stop crying at inopportune times. Please note that it is impossible to do without crying at all. Endless suppression of crying leads to breakdowns and psychological oppression.

Take advantage of distractions. Think about what will make you smile even in the most difficult moment and remember this incident. If you don’t know this story, watch a funny video online. You can use mathematical calculations that will distract you from a tense moment.

Imagine in your mind a place where you felt pleasant and calm. Focus on the details that bring you the most satisfaction. This way, you will force the brain to activate the areas responsible for satisfaction.

Bring your condition back to normal with meditation. To do this, you don’t need to know what yoga is, it’s enough to master 2-3 methods. One of them:

find a secluded place;
sit comfortably;
close your eyes;
inhale and exhale rhythmically and deeply.

Within a minute, your consciousness will be filled with positive sensations.

Try to pour out your emotions on paper. Write: “Resentment”, “Difficulty”, etc. Write what makes you cry at this very moment. There is no need to write down the letters, write down as best you can: in complete sentences or in one big word. When you come to your senses, reflect on what you wrote. This technique helps in the same way as a sincere conversation with a close friend.

I often feel like crying because of problems in my personal life. It seems that troubles are haunting you. At such moments, take a deep breath and compare the situation with what has already happened in life. Consider that you have dealt with problems that are much more serious.

Thank fate, God for good things. Learn to give thanks, and in order to revive your memory in time necessary images, write down successful situations in a special notebook.

Find the reason for crying

Think about how crying can harm you.

If you notice that tears appear more often, this may indicate underlying problems. Find the factors that make you cry and list them in a notebook or notepad with the date. Record negative thoughts and think about whether they are rational?

Reconsider your own ideals in terms of reality. Make a decision to always look at what is happening realistically. Analyze when you don't know how to stop crying and the tears flow non-stop. Some people are brought to tears by photographs, music, smells. Hide further what can be hidden. Also indicate what remedies help get rid of this condition.

Analyze how you react to . Most often ignored conflict situations allows you to avoid moments when tears begin to flow from resentment. Deciding how to respond to controversial situations will help you stop crying. Learn to control your emotions so they don't get the better of you.

Go from passive to active. Decide your own destiny, and if you can’t do it, think about whether you really want it? People tend to blame others for their own mistakes: to be offended by teachers, parents, friends, young man or a girl. Learn to take responsibility, and then you won’t have to cry resentfully.

Thoughts can influence behavior. Always remember that negativity destroys a person’s essence from the inside. Constant dissatisfaction in others, loved ones, leads to fears, to depression.

Do you keep crying when you remember bad moments from the past? What could not be returned, realize how important reality is. The burden of problems slows me down and prevents me from living fully. Learn to tell your thoughts in time: “No!” so that they do not take root in your head.

If tears often come to your eyes and you don't know how to stop them, talk to a friend or loved one. Call the phone if it is far away or sit over a cup of coffee. A heart-to-heart conversation helps to reconsider your views on reality.

There are services psychological assistance. Call on hotline and specialists will definitely help you cope with mental pain.

The doctor will find out the reasons for crying and teach you how to control your emotions. Together you will create a plan that will help you overcome your emotions.

Drawing conclusions

In some situations it is necessary to cry, but do not delay this process. When you feel like crying, think about whether you can allow yourself to be out of balance for a while. After all, crying requires a lot of emotional investment.

If your emotions are overwhelming, find a secluded place and cry. Be alone so that nothing interferes with your calm. Strong crying leads to dehydration and loss of physical strength. To calm down and rehydrate, drink a glass of water.

If you don't know how to stop crying in public, raise one or two eyebrows very high. Let others think that you are surprised. Sometimes a conversation with stranger allows you to look at the situation from a different angle. Try this method while going on a long trip or finding someone to talk to at a bar.

If you have animals at home, recharge your energy from them. Often a simple stroking brings a person to his senses. Plus, animals will never judge you and love you for who you really are.

March 15, 2014, 10:36