Don't be nervous at all. How to cope with yourself in a stressful situation? Music and experiences

Worry often gives small things a big shadow.
Swedish proverb.

People go to self-destruction in different ways. One of them is excessive anxiety.
Someone worries too much about loved ones or a career, while creating negative scenarios in their heads. Anxiety turns into a worm that grinds you like Dutch cheese and there is less and less energy left.

How to learn to quickly deal with disturbing thoughts and keep them out of your head? Let's look at a few tricks.

Concentrate on the current moment. Be "Here" and "Now"

Too developed imagination and thoughts about what the situation may turn into in the future give rise to the greatest experiences and anxieties. If you get hung up on this and constantly come up with negative scenarios for the development of the situation, this will not lead to anything good. Even worse, if you remember some similar negative situation from the past and project it onto current events.

If you spend too much time and energy imagining the future in such a negative way, or constantly torturing yourself with painful memories of the past, it weakens your nervous system even more.

If you want to worry less - concentrate on the current moment! To do this, use the following tips:

1. Think about today. At the beginning of the day, or at the moment when worries begin to cloud your mind, sit down for a minute, stop. Breathe. Narrow your focus significantly. Don't look ahead, as you will see the goals to be achieved and start worrying even more. Just focus on the current day. Nothing more. "Tomorrow" isn't going anywhere.

2. Talk about what you are currently doing. For example: "Now I'm brushing my teeth." It is very easy to move into the past and the future. And this phrase will quickly bring you back to the present moment.

Ask yourself, how many times have your negative predictions for the future failed to come true?

Many things that you fear will never happen to you. They are just monsters living in your head. And even if something of your fears really happens, most likely it will not be as bad as you painted yourself. Worry is often a waste of time.

Of course, easier said than done. But if you ask yourself how much of what you were worried about actually happened in your life, then you will definitely let go.

Refocus from intense anxiety to how you can influence the current situation

To get out of a state of anxiety, think about what you can do to change the situation in better side and start changing it.
There are only two options for the development of the situation:

1. either you are unable to influence it and, in this case, there is no point in exhausting yourself with anxiety,
2. or you can influence it and, then, you need to stop worrying and start acting.

What do you do when you feel your mind clouded with anxiety?

If your heart is beating so fast that it interferes with your thinking, or your palms are sweaty and your mouth is dry, then you are probably nervous. Any person is nervous before an important event or event. Nevertheless, it is necessary to learn how to cope with (or at least minimize) nervousness. Although getting rid of nervousness is not easy, there are several different approaches that you can use to calm your mind and control your emotions. Try the methods below and choose the one that suits you best.

Steps

Calming exercises

Learn to breathe properly. Yoga practitioners learn how to breathe correctly, which leads to a calming of their mind. Deep and slow breathing calms the mind and body, but short and quick breathing has the opposite effect.

• Close your eyes and breathe slowly to calm your mind and body.
• You can control your breathing by counting up to a certain number or by repeating, "Now I breathe in, now I breathe out."

1. Visit a "happy place" or visualize success. You can imagine a "happy place" to move away from the place where you are nervous and go somewhere where there is no stress, whether it be shopping center or a deserted beach.

   • Imagine that you have succeeded in what makes you nervous. Positive visualizations can turn into real success if you truly believe you can succeed.
   • Drive away sad thoughts and use your imagination to recreate positive rather than negative situations.

2. Come up with a mantra. A mantra is a phrase or expression that is repeated aloud or to oneself as a meditation exercise. Think of words that inspire or calm you down and repeat them every time you get nervous. While repeating the mantra, you can close your eyes.

   Meditate. Although meditation is not easy to master, it is one of the better ways calm down. Find a quiet place, take a comfortable position (you can lie down), and try to clear your mind for at least five minutes.

   Write down your thoughts when you are nervous. Don't suppress thoughts and feelings when you're nervous - write them down and then forget about them. Try to fight the nervousness instead of ignoring it. As soon as you write down your feelings, throw away a piece of paper (as a symbolic release of unpleasant thoughts and feelings) or leave and think over what you wrote during the day.

   Listen to soothing music. Make a selection of songs that calm you down. When you're nervous, turn on the music and immerse yourself in it.

   Drink water. This will calm your nervous system and prevent dehydration. You should always drink enough water, but if you do it when you are nervous, the water will do you double the good.

   Massage your whiskey. Close your eyes and massage your temples with your middle fingers. Massage of the temples will help you relax and relieve stress.

   Go in for sports, or yoga, or tai chi. Sports will help you direct your thoughts in a different direction and get rid of nervousness. If you're really nervous about a presentation at work or a date with a girl, do cardio every day (for at least 30 minutes).

   • Yoga is not only physical exercise, but also an intense mental training that will teach you to control your breathing. You can visit a yoga studio or practice at home with a video course.
   • Take up tai chi. This is a set of exercises designed to relax the body and clear the mind, as well as direct energy in a positive direction.

3. Get enough sleep and eat well. This not only affects general state health, but also reduces stress levels and the likelihood that you will be nervous. Get at least 8 hours of sleep a night and avoid fatty and sugary foods.

   Rational Approach to Nervousness

   1. Accept uncertainty. Some people seek to control every aspect of their lives. Try to reduce control and come to terms with the fact that you are not in control of absolutely everything in your life. You can give your life a specific direction, but you cannot avoid taking wrong turns or deviating from the intended course. And that's okay.

      • If you plan out your whole life, it will turn out to be quite boring. Uncertainty is what adds color to the monotony of being. If you can't come to terms with uncertainty, learn to take it in a positive way - what surprises will make you happy today?

   2. Focus on the present instead of living in the past or the future. What's done is done, and what hasn't happened yet hasn't happened. Don't get stressed by thinking about things that have already happened or anticipation of something happening.

      • Remember the expression "causing trouble." If you're worried about ruining tomorrow's speech, you may end up screwing up your speech. Focus on the present moment. Don't think about what will happen tomorrow.

   3. Learn to be comfortable in situations that make you nervous. You cannot avoid every such situation, but getting into them, you will learn to control your feelings and emotions. If you are nervous about the big public speaking, try to appear in front of a small audience, and then move on to a large stage.

      • Your family and friends will help you deal with this problem.

   4. Imagine a person who makes you nervous in a vulnerable situation. An old trick will help you - imagine a crowd of people in their underwear. Even if your boss is overly formidable, convince yourself that he is only human. He also sometimes gets nervous and gets into vulnerable situations.

      • Remember that every person in this world has been in a foolish or vulnerable situation at least once.

   5. Prepare for good and bad days. Even if you know how to relax, there will still be days in which you will be nervous. Prepare yourself for success and failure.

   Determining the cause of nervousness

   1. Don't think that nervousness can have a positive effect. Many tend to be nervous, believing that it will lead to positive results or spur them into action. But when you're nervous, you're just wasting time that could be spent on more worthwhile things.

      • Worrying that the situation will soon be resolved in the worst (possible) way will not lead to positive results. Being nervous, you will not prepare better for the situation, that is, you will simply waste precious time.
      • The rational approach to nervousness is not to let anxious thoughts control your body. Be rational and control your nervousness.

First of all, in order to somehow reduce nervous tension, you need to stop paying too much attention to the problems that occurred in the past, and possible troubles that await you in the future, and concentrate as much as possible on solving current problems. It's not that you live for today. Rather, on the contrary, the more you do today, the more you will pave the way for new victories.

Do not poison your life with thoughts of past failures. This can no longer be changed. Live here and now.

It is important to learn how to solve problems effectively. Write down everything that worries you on a piece of paper. Next, next to each problem, indicate ways to resolve the situation. Set your priorities. What cases require immediate execution? Is it possible to postpone something for later? Put it all in your diary and cross it off as you go. Similar way doing business not only disciplines well, but also allows you to get rid of nervous tension.

In addition, when analyzing the current situation, speculate about its worst consequences. What can you do to prevent this from happening? How will this affect your life? As a rule, after working through such a negative scenario, you will understand that everything is not as scary as it seems at first glance, so don’t even get nervous.

Work on yourself

For some people, worrying about trifles is a kind of hobby that they literally torment their loved ones with. In their opinion, not for any reason, in particular, about the fate of others - this is the degree of selfishness. It doesn’t even occur to them that excessive anxiety will only lead to sleep disturbance, loss of appetite, deterioration of hair and nails, and other negative factors, but it is unlikely to change anything.

If you are overwhelmed with compassion, then you should try to help this or that person in this situation, and not torment yourself with empty experiences.

On the other hand, there are those who deliberately invent new fears for themselves. Are you afraid of being fired from your job? Why will your wife leave you? That in a month you will recover by a couple of kilograms? Enough! You can always find another job, not all wives and husbands are their soul mates. As you get better, you will lose weight. And are there any real prerequisites for all this?

If you are worried about your own imperfection, then it's time to start loving yourself as you are. Still, self-love is the basis for finding peace of mind.

Hello dear readers. Some people are able to react quite calmly to many serious problems, tackling them with a straight face. Well, we can only envy them, because sometimes even small domestic problems can unsettle us. But, of course, we do not "explode" over trifles. This reaction occurs because over time we accumulate too much negative emotions which we tried not to show. But it brings us to a state where “nerves can’t stand it” is the very “last straw”, which most often can hardly be called a problem. It is from this moment that the period may begin when you will be nervous for any, even the most frivolous, reason. Naturally, often repeated events eventually turn into a habit that a person is not able to get rid of on his own.

If you have already formed such a habit, then you urgently need to get rid of it. Frequent experiences not only spoil our lives, but also affect our health, which in many cases becomes the cause of oncological diseases.

In general, the problem is quite solvable, but in order to cope with it, you need to familiarize yourself with some recommendations.

Constantly feeling anxiety of fear - how to get rid of, consequences

We can be nervous for absolutely any reason, ranging from problems at work, and ending with minor domestic troubles. It's one thing when there's enough serious reason for experiences, but when a person is nervous because of simple communication with another a stranger, then this already indicates the presence of a problem.

A small nervous outburst, for example, before the presentation of the project, is normal reaction our nervous system. Over time, a person gets rid of his fears, which means that there are no more reasons to be nervous.

If a person develops as a person, then over time he gains self-confidence, so he will no longer worry about what other people think of him. It should be concluded that only self-confident people can calmly relate to the problems that have arisen.

But not every person can boast of such calmness, so we need to figure out how to stop being nervous after all?

Experiencing absolutely for any reason, we, it turns out, waste our energy, which just could help us realize ourselves in life. And so, we spend our strength on coping with ourselves in a separate situation.

As a result, we can lose control over our lives, which can lead to quite unpleasant consequences, which you simply do not have enough strength to cope with.

1. Acquisition of an addiction that creates the illusion that the problem has disappeared, making you forget about its existence for a while. It's about about alcohol, smoking, as well as the use of various psychotropic drugs.

2. Refusal to achieve the set goals. Usually, problems confuse a person, and constant worries only further undermine him. As a result, a person loses the taste of life, and simply gives up.

3. Decreased mental performance. Being in a state of stress, a person tries to mentally abstract himself from the problem that has arisen, which means that he is not able to think clearly. Severe stress can lead to temporary mental retardation.

4. Chronic fatigue. The presence of any problem that causes sufficiently serious feelings burdens a person. Even good sleep is not able to fully restore strength, because of which he feels tired even at the beginning of the day.

5. Loss of emotional control. If during long period something “bites” you, and you are always nervous because of this, then, sooner or later, all this will result in one big emotional explosion. This is especially true for people who are not accustomed to sharing their experiences with anyone.

Analyze your fears

As we have already understood, the feeling of discomfort arises precisely because of self-doubt, which is precisely what fear generates. Accordingly, in order to stop being nervous, we need to understand our own fears that prevent us from realizing ourselves.

Therefore, we need to try to identify our fears in order to acknowledge them, and eventually get rid of them. One method will help us to identify our own fears.

So, we need a simple sheet of paper on which we will draw two columns. In the first one, you should write the problems that you are quite capable of handling. In another part of the sheet, you need to list those life problems that you cannot solve. If everything is clear with the first column, because you know how to solve the problems that have arisen, then for “unsolvable” problems you need to try to find a solution.

You need to try to draw up a detailed plan for solving a specific problem, at least on paper, and then you will see that not everything is as difficult as it might seem. But writing on paper alone is not enough, so you still have to put in a little effort so that this problem no longer makes you worry about it.

If the solution to some problems does not depend on you, then what is the point in worrying about it at all? You can worry if you really can influence the course of events, but for some reason do not do it.

Such an analysis will help you learn to distinguish real problems from far-fetched ones, as well as find solutions for them.

Remember childhood

Many psychological problems adults are drawn from childhood, which a person sometimes does not even realize. Therefore, you should think about the fact that the reason for your constant experiences lies in your past.

As a rule, children's fears develop into insecurity over time, which is why a person, in fact, is nervous. Quite often, parents, trying to motivate a child, compare him with other children. As a result, the child believes that he is somehow worse than others, and he has to live with this psychological trauma all life.

How to deal with this problem? You are no longer a child, so you must understand that all people are different. And every person has both disadvantages and advantages. We must also remember our positive aspects, as often the focus is only on the negative.

Holiday

If you have already turned to the Internet with the question “How to stop being nervous for any reason and become calm?”, Then this can only mean one thing - you need a rest. Do not forget that every person needs not only physical rest, but also psychological. So arrange for yourself a whole day of rest, forgetting about everything that bothered you before.

Such a discharge will only benefit you, and perhaps it will help you see the solution to the problem. Psychologists recommend during this day to do only those things that bring you pleasure.

1. Forget about your responsibilities. To do this, you should take one day off work at the expense of vacation. If you have children, then you can send them to visit their grandmother for a day. That is, you need to spend this day in an unusual way for you, fencing yourself off from everyday problems. The best option will be a short trip.

2. Take a bath. On a rest day, you have nowhere to rush, so you can afford to wake up at any time and take a relaxing bath right in the morning. Hot water It will help your body to relax, which can also relax you mentally. Do so, throwing all unnecessary thoughts out of your head. Add your favorite herbs and oils to your bath.

3. Arrange a meeting with friends for a cup of tea or coffee. Of course, coffee cannot be called a relaxing drink, because it only stimulates nervousness. But, the effect of this drink also depends on your mood. Therefore, drinking a cup of coffee in the company of friends will only benefit you.

4. Do what you love for which you often simply do not have enough time. Love to draw? Take out the canvas and paints from the closet - and go ahead. If you are doing what you really enjoy, then you will not feel tired.

5. Cook something tasty. Food always helps to cope with stress, so sometimes it’s even good to treat yourself to some unusual dish. But do not overdo it, enjoying a delicacy and overeating are two different things.

6. Watch a movie. Your goal is to relax. Therefore, the film must be selected appropriate. Do not watch a drama or a thriller, but let it be a light and kind comedy.

How to stop being nervous for any reason and become calm?

Not every person can afford to have a whole day of rest, so you have to look for other ways to relax. And even if you managed to escape from the daily routine, this does not mean that bad thoughts will not overtake you.

1. Protect yourself from the source of stress

Take a break from the situation at least for a few minutes. Crash at work? Take a five-minute break for yourself, during which you can put your thoughts in order. So, you will not only get rid of nervousness, but also gain new strength for work.

Sometimes it is helpful to look at a problem through the eyes of a complete stranger. Try to push your emotions into the background and try to figure out the cause of the emotional outburst. Just ask yourself, what is the cause of your worries? Only in this way can you begin to act towards solving the problem.

3. Speak your problem out loud

You will need an interlocutor whom you completely and completely trust. It is best to talk with one of the family members, because only a loved one is able to patiently listen to you. In addition, you will not only feel relieved that you shared your problem with another person, but you will also be able to analyze it.

4. Smile

A serious, tense face is unlikely to help you relax, so start solving the problem with a smile. In this way, you set yourself up for the positive, which will only help you cope with stress.

5. Direct your negative energy in the right direction

If you feel angry or resentful, then this does not mean that you need to fight in hysterics or immediately get into a fight to get a discharge. Just go in for sports. Believe me, physical exercises will physically exhaust you so much that you will forget about any problems there.

How to make your daily routine

If you are nervous before a certain event for which you are not psychologically ready yet, then you need to try to collect your thoughts. Some recommendations of psychologists will help you tune in the right way:

Prepare yourself a delicious breakfast

Let your day start with your favorite yummy that always lifts your spirits. It is desirable that breakfast contains glucose, which will energize you for the whole day.

Do exercises

Of course, no one wants to strain in the morning, but believe me, after a few exercises you will feel cheerful. Sports also have a positive effect on our mood.

digress

Empty experiences will certainly not help you, so try to distract yourself with some activity. Listen to your favorite song or just think of something that makes you happy.

use water

It not only helps us to cleanse ourselves of everything negative, but also charges us with positive energy. It doesn't matter what you do, take a bath or wash dishes, the main thing is that you are in contact with water.

Always look for the positives

In any situation, even the most difficult, there are positive sides. That is, if you can no longer influence the situation, then you just have to change your attitude towards it.

Count to ten

If you feel that you cannot control your emotions, then you should take a deep breath and count from one to ten. This method will help to avoid conflicts and nervous breakdowns.

Write a letter

Sometimes it can be very difficult for us to cope with the problems that arise, which is why we are nervous. We are completely unaware that our experiences will not solve the problem, and in this way we only harm our health.

There is always a way out of any situation, and it is more profitable for you to spend your energy on finding this way out than on useless experiences that will not lead to anything good. Therefore, learn to give yourself small breaks when you can take a break from all problems by relaxing in hot tub with fragrant herbs, for example.

Each person chooses for himself ways to help him relax, so for each they will be different. Give yourself one full day off when you can devote time only to yourself. Sometimes "doing nothing" can be very useful, if not abused, of course.

People who are satisfied with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. They don't know what stress is. They simply do not experience overstrain and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in a stressful state becomes angry, irritable and gets turned on, as they say, with a half turn. Sooner or later he will get tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is it real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.

Voltage drop

Every person who is interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that without minimizing emotional stress, nothing will work. First you need to start eating well and on time. And start the morning with something tasty and beloved - this will help to cheer you up. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.

If at work a person is faced with a stressful factor, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. Still worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bath, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.

And in general, if a person thinks about how to be calm in any situation, then it's time to change something in your life. Maybe she has become terribly monotonous? Then it doesn’t hurt to bring a new hobby or hobby into it. The main thing is that it gives pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be annoyed.

self control

Usually, the question concerning how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day the boss presses or colleagues irritate with every word. The only way out is self-control.

An effective method is breathing practice. Namely, the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with the left nostril, then with the right, after which with the stomach and chest. This not only helps to calm down heartbeat but also to relax.

Or you can just hold your breath and release it after half a minute. In this way, brain activity is reduced to a minimum.

Methods of psychology

As in any situation, if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If this is a close friend or relative, then half the battle is done - good example has already. You need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.

By the way, many advise to make a list of so-called personal irritants. The enemy must be known by sight. And after compiling the list, you can come up with ways by which it will be really possible to cope with the irritant. The next time a person encounters a source of stress, he will confidently be able to resist it in a pre-planned method. It will be a small victory, from which the mood is guaranteed to improve.

Motivation

There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. More often than not, people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work, and it pisses me off. I want to drop everything, wash my hands and hide from everyone in my shelter. But this is not the way out. Well, motivation will help.

In a situation that is already “on the verge”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It is worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after the darkest night, dawn always comes.

In general, it will not be superfluous to read a collection of motivating quotes. The most important will stick in your memory. So, for example, Stuart McRobert, a well-known publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal. Stewart reached out to athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to win and win titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.

Physical release of energy

Surely every person who is interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in his body at the moment of irritation. It starts to make noise in the head, the pressure jumps so rapidly that one even feels a pulsation in the temples, there is a desire to scream or even pounce on someone with fists with the intention of tearing to shreds.

It is impossible to keep such a reserve of energy in oneself. Physical relaxation will help. You can enroll in the boxing section, where in the evening you can happily take out all the anger and aggression on the pear, representing the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts pouring baseless remarks again, the person will automatically remember how he recouped yesterday on a pear, imagining the boss in her place. And he will note with pleasure to himself that today he will be able to do it again. In addition, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, physically developed, more beautiful. Sports are useful, after all muscle relaxation, which relieves tension that accumulates in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: "Excess energy should be directed in the right direction."

Everything ends sooner or later

Many people live by this principle. And he is efficient. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough just to remember that this (it can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much trouble will sooner or later be completed and closed. new job someday you will be able to find it. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. Sooner or later, the boss will get tired of finding fault with trifles. In general, it should be easier.

By the way, the same can be advised to people who are worried before any important event. For example, before a public performance. True, there are other ways. To be calm in any situation, even in a very responsible one, is quite real. You just need to set a short-term goal. go out, make a speech, appear in best light, to do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the experience?

It's just that people are too afraid. Fear overshadows the mind, and it is difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself up in the right peaceful way, then everything will work out.

A change of scenery

There is one more tip that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. Practices are different. And one of the most effective is to change the situation. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a gross mistake - they return home from work, dragging along a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. Being in their "fortress", they continue to think about worries. And they don't rest. We must get used to clearly separate work and everything else - vacation, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise, the vicious circle will never break.

It is worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice for himself that the thought “Well, again, how tired it all is, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less.

everyday situations

Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society as a whole. But what about ordinary, "home" cases? If a person is irritated in front of relatives and friends, breaks down on them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures related to work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, lack of money. But relatives are not to blame. In order not to get annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If a close person found out how things are at work, he did not want to once again remind him of a bad boss, annoying colleagues and an unloved position. He just showed attention.

And it also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in what does not concern him, asks about things that are too personal, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves the opponent wrong. In this case, the person is out of luck. But the issue can be easily resolved. It is only necessary to politely besiege the interlocutor or to transfer the conversation in another direction.

Secret in happiness

Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always happy and happy. He does not get annoyed over trifles, because he does not care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it haunts you, reminding you of yourself every second, it's time to change your life. And you don't have to be afraid to do it. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.