Behavior of women in society. Etiquette for girls and women: basic and elementary rules
It is important for every girl to know how to behave correctly in different situations and don't lose your dignity. Modern etiquette filled for girls different rules. We will try to highlight the main 15 norms of behavior for each of you.
Away behavior
1.Accept or decline the invitation should be in advance. So say the rules of etiquette for girls and guys.
2. You can come with someone only after discussing it with the hostess.
3. Also, the etiquette of a modern girl says that it is indecent to come to visit in advance. It is normal to be a few minutes late.
4. Do not drink alcohol in excess. It is ugly for both the girl and the guy.
5. Also, the basic rules of etiquette for girls involve a call of gratitude to the hostess the next day after the reception.
Behavior in restaurants and cafes
1. If you visit a restaurant together, the guy takes the menu first, then passes it to the girl. The order is reported by the guy for two. Such is the etiquette of a girl with a guy in such establishments.
2. Also, the etiquette for girls at the table prohibits negotiations on a mobile phone in the presence of other guests.
3. Shouting, coughing and other signs are unacceptable to attract the attention of the waiter.
4. Talking and laughing loudly is also unacceptable.
5. Regarding cutlery, the rules of etiquette for girls at the table are as follows: at the end of the meal, the knife and fork are placed parallel to each other, during the break - crosswise.
1. Regarding the wardrobe, clothing etiquette for girls says that for an outfit, first of all, its relevance is important, and only then convenience and beauty.
2. Never read someone else's correspondence and personal notes.
3. Do not discuss your sex life in front of strangers.
4. Turn off mobile phone in in public places.
5. It is important that your hair, manicure and shoes are always in perfect condition.
Now it is extremely important for each of us to know how a girl should behave, etiquette and its rules. It is necessary in all situations to behave with dignity and good manners. Having good manners is far from being a luxury, but a necessity for every lady.
Women's etiquette is based on the principle: a woman should never forget that she is a representative of the fair sex. A real lady always has a flawless appearance, own manner of dressing, reasonably and professionally uses cosmetics.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
There is such folk wisdom that they meet a woman by her clothes, and send her out for her manners. Therefore, let's start with clothes, and finish with just the rules of conduct.
The first rule in clothes. It is worth remembering that there are seasons (summer, winter) and there is a time of day (morning, evening). Clothing here will be drastically different. For winter it will be denser and darker, for summer it will be lighter and lighter. The same goes for morning and evening. In the morning we dress much simpler and less flashy, but in the evening, and only in the evening, sparkles are acceptable. By the way, if you did a manicure, for example, with sparkles, then it is valid only for the evening. The next day in the morning, you must definitely get rid of these sparkles.
According to etiquette, a woman cannot appear at work or at a formal evening without pantyhose or stockings. Light colors of tights are more versatile, but black legs look slimmer. If you are not sure about the correct choice, wear flesh-colored tights. As a rule, they are suitable for any clothing.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
Remember that cleavage, very short skirts, and even more so both together are unacceptable at work. Very tight and transparent clothes are unacceptable. Knitwear, denim is not very appropriate at work, even if a chic evening dress is sewn from it. Leather clothing is not allowed, especially skirts and trousers.
And I would like to talk about a separate aspect (it’s not very convenient to talk about it, but it’s even more inconvenient to see): underwear should not be visible from under your clothes. This is especially true for trousers.
A suit is a universal business, everyday wear. It is better to choose accessories for it depending on the warehouse of the woman's character: for flirtatious and cheerful ladies - less ruffles, flounces, colorful patterns. But restrained women are more suitable for soft rounded collars, small folds and ruffles on blouses, as well as elegant shoes, the Big Breakfast program on STV reported.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
We will not talk about the fact that shoes should be polished, solid, of high quality. The main requirement is not to allow yourself to take off your shoes in the summer. Even in 30-degree heat, your sock should always be closed. The maximum that you can afford is to expose the heel. But remember that even a real woman should be beautiful.
A woman should not wear a lot of jewelry, especially during the day. Of course, evening wear involves jewelry, but try not to look like a Christmas tree.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
There can be three colors on one person. As a last resort, four is acceptable, and in no case more. This rule, by the way, helps to decorate our lives. Try not to have one monotonous color on you. Decorate the blue, gray range, for example, with bright red on the chest or in the hair, where it is permissible, based on the situation.
What does an elegant woman look like from the outside? Good posture: gently dropped shoulders, straight back, slightly inverted stomach. The legs are straight at the knees, but without tension. The arms are slightly bent at the elbows and the chin is raised, but not “pulled up”.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
According to the rules of etiquette, you can’t cross your legs, you can’t carry your hands in your pockets and you can’t be late. Even for a date. Of course, you can afford 15 minutes, but etiquette does not approve of you even in this case. And if we are talking about a business date, then by no means, it is better to come in advance.
A real woman does not swear, especially obscenely, does not chew gum and does not brush her teeth with a toothpick. This is done purely in the ladies' room.
Moreover, in front of other people, you can’t powder yourself, comb, use perfume. There is also a designated ladies room for this.
A woman's manners should not be provocative. When talking, do not exaggerate facial expressions, laugh too loudly or assume a feigned indifference to everyone and everything. In a word, a lady should be natural and feel at ease.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
Going somewhere into the world, remember that a woman may not represent her companion to others. It is assumed that he may not correspond to her level. But a man, by the way, is in no case unacceptable not to introduce his companion. This is extremely indecent.
As for the presentation, it begins with those who are lower in rank. The youngest are introduced first and only then the oldest are introduced.
Also, according to the rules of etiquette, the husband and wife do not sit side by side at the table. They don't even sit opposite each other. As a rule, quite distant places are provided for them. But at the same time, the wife does not have the right to flirt in the presence of her husband.
During communication with a man, a woman should not talk a lot. Do not focus on your troubles, financial difficulties, love failures. However, you should not be silent either - this will put your interlocutor in an awkward position, they said in the Big Breakfast program on STV.
Olga Belmach, STV host:
And remember that a woman creates a holiday not only when she goes out to people, but also at home. That is why she is not allowed to walk around the house in a dressing gown or pajamas. By breakfast, she must certainly not only change clothes, but also put herself in order.
Another “household” rule for women, because it is they who, as a rule, violate this rule: women cannot read SMS and diaries of either their own husband or their own children.
And I want to finish with the words of the heroine Audrey Hepburn: “Remember that good manners can make a real lady out of even a street girl.”
30 modern rules of etiquette
In fact, the basics of etiquette are quite simple. This is a culture of speech, elementary politeness, a neat appearance and the ability to manage one's emotions.
Bright Side presents you a selection of current rules for today that every self-respecting person and others should know.
- A person is not at all decorated with too loud laughter, noisy conversations in public places, staring at other people.
- Don't pay visits unannounced. If uninvited guests come to you, you have every right to be in home clothes and even curlers.
- Entering the room, skip the first one coming towards you from the door. And also when entering the room, say hello first, regardless of your status.
- The golden rule when using perfume is moderation. If after half an hour you do not feel your perfume, then they suit you well, but keep in mind that others can suffocate from this smell.
- According to international protocol, total jewelry that you can wear at the same time should not exceed 13 items, including jewelry buttons.
- Wearing rings and rings over gloves is a sign of bad taste. However, it is quite possible to wear a bracelet over the gloves.
- It is permissible for a woman to remain indoors in a hat and gloves, but it is better to take off her hat and mittens.
- The bag should not be placed on your knees. It is permissible to put a clutch on the table, but it is advisable to hang a more voluminous bag on the back of a chair or put it next to it on the floor.
- Decide on the wording when we are talking about paying for food in a restaurant. The phrase: "I invite you" implies that you are paying for dinner. The sentence: "Let's go to a cafe / restaurant" is neutral, and everyone pays for himself. A woman has the right to expect payment for her dinner if the man himself offers it.
- If some of the invited guests are late, it is advisable to invite those gathered to the table 15-20 minutes after the appointed time and serve appetizers with aperitifs. The rules of etiquette at the table allow you to wait with the main course until all the latecomers arrive. But no more than 1 hour.
- How to behave as a vegetarian invited to a barbecue? A friendly picnic allows you to warn the hosts about your taste preferences and take a couple of appropriate dishes with you. But the rules of business etiquette suggest that before a business lunch, you need to refresh yourself in advance, and not to show your special diet at the common table.
- It is unacceptable at the common table to mention that you are on a diet. Especially in response to the offer of hospitable hosts to taste treats. It is necessary to praise them, but there is no need to eat dishes.
- The same principle applies to alcoholic beverages. Alcohol can be poured into your glass, and it is advisable to sip it, but no one forces you to drink.
- A sign of bad manners is a request to buy or bring some products if you are invited to visit. The invitation itself means the thoughtfulness and organization of the holiday, as well as the choice of a gift at the discretion of the guests, unless otherwise agreed in advance.
- According to the rules of etiquette, some products at the common table can be eaten with your hands. These include: bread, sandwiches, sandwiches, canapes, pies, cookies, hard cakes, asparagus shoots, artichoke leaves, fruits, berries with cuttings. Poultry meat is eaten with the hands when it can no longer be eaten with a fork and knife.
- Political, religious, medical and financial topics are taboo for general small talk. For example, questions like how much a house, outfit, cosmetics cost, what are you sick with, etc. - are inappropriate.
- It is also unacceptable to discuss absent people, which is essentially gossip. Also a sign of bad manners is to speak badly about loved ones and relatives. It is not necessary to "take dirty linen out of the hut."
- Try during the conversation not to touch your interlocutor without his consent or desire: take by the hand, pat on the shoulder, push or stroke. Respect the privacy of the other person.
- From the time a son or daughter moves into their own room, learn to knock before entering the child. In return, you have the right to demand from him the same rule of etiquette when he goes to your bedroom or office.
- If someone acts impolitely towards you or your companions, you should not stoop to his level and respond with rudeness to rudeness. It is better to educate with worthy behavior and your own example.
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Rules of etiquette for girls
Knowing and observing the basic rules of etiquette will help every woman or young girl feel confident in any society under any circumstances. The lady is always visible - she is refined, refined and well-mannered, it is pleasant to have a conversation with her, she is desirable at any party.
Everyone can instill good manners, the main thing is to know the fundamental points and try to observe them every day and in any situation.
Peculiarities
Very often, we associate the word "etiquette" with how, for example, to properly set the table, which glass to use for wine and which one for water, how to dress for a particular social event. But the concept is broader, it covers all spectrums of a woman's life.
Etiquette is also how to behave in public transport and how to organize communication in a work team. A young girl should demonstrate her manners and good manners in relations with a young man, him and her parents. This includes even friendly chatter with a girlfriend, who, it turns out, must also obey special rules.
To embark on the path of "turning into a lady", you first need to learn how to monitor your emotions. Nowadays, many girls are accustomed to violently express their overwhelming feelings. Restraint and modesty are the main distinctive features highlighting a true lady, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s the joy of meeting a friend or the indignation of an unfair incident.
Learning to hide your emotions is a very important step in the process of learning good manners. There is no need to come up with excuses for yourself that at that moment it was impossible to remain silent or outwardly remain indifferent to the situation - for sure the problem will soon be solved by itself, but restoring a damaged reputation is much more difficult.
Try to be more tolerant of the shortcomings of others, do not criticize anyone in public, do not interfere in other people's affairs, behave modestly and with dignity - these principles will pay for ignorance of the common rules of etiquette.
Behavior rules
There is a certain set of rules that will help to avoid embarrassing moments in life situations in which every girl gets every day.
Our life is not limited to ordinary everyday life, when you just need to behave within the generally accepted norms of behavior. A young girl in the modern world tries to comprehend all spheres of life, attend all social events, make new acquaintances.
Increasingly, meetings of any format are held in a restaurant. To express yourself with better side, show your awareness and good upbringing, follow the basic rules that are easy to remember:
- A trip to a restaurant begins with studying the menu and making an order. Do not be afraid to ask the waiter, for example, about the ingredients, the method of serving, the cooking time of the dish.
- Familiarize yourself with the specifics of the institution. If you come to a Chinese restaurant, do not order European cuisine.
- At the table, behave with restraint, always remember the posture (do not fall apart in a chair) and gestures (do not wave your fork in any case!), Do not speak loudly. Remember - you are not alone in the restaurant.
- If the waiter brought your order earlier than the others, you should not immediately grab the fork and knife. In this case, you must wait until everyone has plates on the table.
- Place a napkin on your lap just before eating. This way it will always be at hand and you will keep your clothes clean.
- If something fell from the table (a device, a napkin), do not focus on it. Just call the waiter, he will bring you everything you need.
- Hold the fork with the knife correctly, in the left and right hand, respectively. Try not to swap cutlery. If the garnish is crumbly, use a knife to fill the fork.
- Work the spoon away from you if your meal includes an entree. This way you keep your clothes clean.
- If you can’t chew a piece, then gently bring the napkin to your lips and discreetly remove it.
- Defiant behavior always repels others, especially men, at any stage in the development of relationships. Remember that a woman should always remain a mystery and understatement, so do not violently express your emotions - do not forget about restraint.
- Do not sort things out and do not argue with your gentleman in public. Passionate kissing is also not worth it.
- Don't be too intrusive. Even if the relationship is going through a “candy-bouquet” period, you should not often call or write messages to your partner. Only one call from a woman should fall on three or four calls from a man.
- Too indifferent and arrogant girl should not be either. This will be perceived as disrespectful and will alienate a potential partner.
- With pleasure, let a man take care of you, but do not wait and do not demand when, for example, they open the door for you or give you flowers.
- There is a certain sequence that must be followed during the greeting: the younger ones are always the first to greet the elders in a respectful manner, the men greet the women, the one who is late - the one who is waiting for him, who entered the room - those who have already gathered in it, the walking one who is worth.
- When a couple, a man and a woman, meet a lady standing alone, the woman who has an escort is the first to greet.
- If during a walk a man greeted a man unfamiliar to a woman, the woman should also greet him.
- If a girl is invited to a feasting event, then, having entered the room, she must first greet everyone at once, and after sitting down at the table, with neighbors on both sides.
- A girl can greet a man with a nod of her head, and during a handshake she does not take off her glove, only if this is not a meeting with an elderly person. The handshake is a purely feminine initiative.
These general rules will definitely help “not to lose face”. Of course, depending on the company at the table, there are assumptions, but only by observing the main points, you can develop for yourself a habitual stereotype of behavior that will become natural.
One of the most important aspects of any woman's life is relationships with men. The beautiful half of the population always blames the fact that there are no real gentlemen left in nature, but the girls themselves are not distinguished by the presence of good manners.
Remember: by adhering to the principles of a real lady, you encourage the opposite sex to treat you appropriately.
There are several basic rules of etiquette in dealing with men:
In the traditional sense, etiquette between a man and a woman is supported by patriarchal principles, where all power and authority, as well as a demonstration of the superiority of the mind and wealth, belong to strong half. Time is changing, and the scales are gradually equalizing. For example, in modern society it is considered acceptable if the lady pays her half of the bill herself or goes first to get acquainted with the man who is interested in her.
Speech etiquette
Speaking fluently and politely is one of the most important qualities modern world. In the digital age, men and women are losing this important skill, conversation is impoverished, and it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain a conversation.
Knowing the basics of speech etiquette will help any girl present herself correctly in society, teach her to parry, even if the topic of conversation is unfamiliar.
They say: "They meet by clothes, but see off by the mind." In fact, for a woman it would be more correct like this: “They meet by clothes, and see off by how she behaves and speaks in society”. An educated person with a correct understanding of the culture of behavior always evokes approval.
Any communication always begins with a greeting:
The words of greeting are familiar to everyone since childhood: “hello”, “good afternoon”, “ good morning or "good evening". Among your close friends and comrades, more free options are acceptable, for example, “hello”. Pronounce the words clearly and distinctly, do not crumple the endings.
The intonation should be friendly, on the face - a slight smile. Greet and address the person by name, those who are older - by name and patronymic.
The beginning of any relationship begins with the stage of acquaintance. Often such situations require that the girl be introduced to a stranger, or she herself needs to introduce her friends. The rules of etiquette in this case are simple:
Conducting a conversation in a secular society is also regulated by the rules of etiquette:
Try to keep the conversation on a positive wave - do not scold or condemn anyone. It is better to refrain from any comments at all, all the more you should not argue and defend your point of view at all costs.
Business ethics
Long gone are the days when a woman could only do housework and take care of herself, her children and her husband. In the modern world, the meaning of gender is being erased, and more and more often, leading positions are occupied by the fair sex. In order for a girl to build a career, gain respect, have a good income, she should learn the basics of business ethics.
What simple rules of etiquette should every girl know
What rules of etiquette do you remember? Except that a man opens a door for a woman. What do you do if food falls out of your plate? Or how to join the company of people who are already talking about something at a business meeting? But what if you met a person and forgot his name?
What can and cannot be given to foreigners?
The trend of the modern world is simplification. Now a man may not open the door for girls, but social media erase all boundaries between students and ministers. It would seem that etiquette is the same unnecessary concept. But no. If you want to build a good career or make really "necessary" acquaintances, be kind to know at least the elementary rules. In Ukraine, etiquette is rarely included in the list of compulsory subjects. But business lady Evgenia Pankratieva, Corporate Etiquette and International Protocol Consultant, shared a few rules at the SHE Congress for women:
When you go to a conference or meeting, make sure that the badge is always on the right shoulder. Say hello with your right hand.
If you forgot the name of a person, according to American rules, it is better to immediately tell the interlocutor about this. According to the British - to take a wait-and-see attitude.
If your name is incorrectly called, you need to correct the interlocutor immediately. Do not bring to a situation where instead of Karina they will be called Katerina, and correcting after a year of communication will be even less convenient. Shyness and shyness work against you in a business meeting.
How to kiss at a meeting? European rules of etiquette say that it would be appropriate to kiss the air twice. And if kissing is completely unpleasant for you, limit yourself to a handshake and thus immediately outline your territory.
If you need to join an already chatting company, then first you need to select a group that conducts a non-private conversation. This is understandable by the breadth of gestures and facial expressions. According to the rules of etiquette, it will be enough to say: “Good afternoon, can I join you?”
If you realize that the conversation is no longer interesting to you, then you should shake hands with everyone and say: “It was very nice to meet you. I just saw a man who is about to leave. I wish I had time to talk to them before then." For British society, another rule works: “I have to catch a plane / train / meeting, so I have to leave. “But you don’t have to leave.
What to talk about in society? Americans talk about the weather, politics and the event they are attending. But the British - only about the weather and how they are familiar with the owners of the house.
And a few more useful rules from the editors I WANT:
Shoes must always be clean.
A man should not carry a women's bag, and should go to the left of the girl.
Laugh too loud offensive in society.
Use perfume it is necessary so that the others do not suffocate.
A man must enter the restaurant first.
Should be kept secret age, wealth and faith.
To become a real lady, it is not enough to look well-groomed and dress tastefully. The main thing is to be a diversified and cultured person, whose communication manners and behavior in society do not cause any complaints. And even if you are a “rebel” in life, it is simply necessary to know the rules of female decency and etiquette. After all, each of us would like to have the respect of others, feel authority at work, fully communicate with friends and have an impeccable reputation in society. In fact, behind the success of every woman is a lot of work on herself.
Agree, there are situations when beautiful girl not at all interesting as an interlocutor, or, conversely, an ugly woman attracts everyone's attention with her intellect, the ability to present herself and maintain a conversation in society.
It is never too late to engage in self-education, so pay attention to the advice for a true lady: how to behave with people, and what to avoid.
What are good manners based on?
The elementary rules of good manners are based primarily on internal culture and restraint. This means that you need to monitor your emotions and sometimes keep silent where you want to throw out anger. If someone accidentally pushes or hits you in public transport, the easiest way is to be indignant. However, a real lady will not pay attention to this or will politely turn to the passenger with a request to be careful.
As you know, modesty adorns any girl, so do not get involved in disputes or showdown, especially if the issue does not concern you. Do not try to show your superiority in dialogue and do not humiliate the interlocutor.
We think that gossip is not worth mentioning - this is a low occupation for a real lady. And remember that politeness has always been the basis of any etiquette.
Speech
Let's start with the form of greeting, when you need to show your attitude towards a person. The method of greeting will depend on who it is addressed to and what kind of relationship you have with a particular person. With distant acquaintances, you can say hello just in words, close friend or a relative to kiss on the cheek or hug. And remember: the one who is better brought up is the first to greet, so do not be afraid to greet the interlocutor first. At the same time, avoid too violent emotions so as not to attract the attention of others.
Away
Remember that going to visit without a prior call or invitation is extremely impolite. Try to avoid visiting too early or too late to be out of place. The time from 12 to 18 hours will be optimal, of course, if you were not invited for a certain reason and at a certain time. Don't show up empty-handed. This rule is especially true if the owners of the house have children. As a sign of attention, be sure to buy sweets for them.
Remember that a well-mannered person is never late, and if something delays you on the way, be sure to call the owners and warn them. When entering the house, say hello to all guests. The extreme manifestation of lack of culture and disrespect for the interlocutor is talking on the phone and reading messages, so it’s better to forget about the phone at the table. And if the incoming call is important, just apologize and step aside to ask the interlocutor to call back later.
In the company of guests, you should not discuss negative points or pressing problems - this, in principle, is of no interest to anyone, and the atmosphere will be hopelessly spoiled. Try to start a casual conversation and charge those around you with exceptionally positive emotions.
And when you need to leave, do not draw too much attention to it - just say goodbye to the hosts and thank them.
At the restaurant
If a man invited you to a restaurant, this does not mean at all that he should pay. The phrase "I invite ...", of course, implies that he will pay. If such an invitation was not followed, then everyone pays his own bill. If you go to a restaurant with your boyfriend, remember that a real gentleman will always let the lady go first. He will first give you the menu, and at the end he will make an order.
Before the start of the meal, a cotton napkin is placed on your knees. It is worth starting a meal when all the guests already have dishes. An exception is if the interlocutor himself offers you not to wait for the others and start the meal. When you are finished with your meal, place the cutlery parallel on the plate - this will be a sign for the waiter that you can clean the table. If you want to pause and exit, for example, to the restroom, put the appliances crosswise.
Probably, it is not worth reminding that champing at the table is extremely uncivilized, you should also not defiantly sniff food or pick something out of it. It is unacceptable to eat with a knife or try to get food particles stuck in the teeth.
You should also not rush too much, even if you are hungry, talk while chewing food or put your elbows on the table. Yes, and “digging” in your boyfriend’s plate, choosing the best pieces, is also very uncivilized - this is advice for those girls who think that such behavior is acceptable and even somewhat pretty. Nothing of the kind - a real lady will never allow herself frivolities at the table.
If it happens that you spill or spill something on the tablecloth, wipe off excess liquid with a napkin until the waiter replaces your cutlery and tablecloth.
Rules in the relationship between a man and a woman
The rules of conduct in relations between a woman and a man are not at all a relic of society, but the basis of long-term relationships between partners. Of course, every man would like to see in his chosen one, first of all, sincerity, feminine and refined manners and understanding in everything. Beauty is an absolutely secondary concept, more precisely, inner beauty is much more important than beauty external. Guys appreciate the ease of behavior, while they need to feel stronger next to you - your protector.
On a date
If a girl is a little late for a date, this should not be considered a violation of etiquette, this is just an unspoken rule of all girls so that the partner is a little worried and has the opportunity to mentally reflect on your relationship again. But one thing is to be late for 5 minutes, and the other for half an hour, so draw conclusions about whether the guy will wait for you. He can easily interpret being late as a neglect of him, which, in principle, is not so far from the truth.
A man, contrary to outdated rules, should not carry a woman's handbag at all, but helping with heavy things is his duty. If it is raining outside, a man wears an umbrella, of course, if he is taller than a woman or the same height as her.
Learn how to properly respond to gifts and say not just “thank you” - express your gratitude with warm words and pay attention to the delicate taste when choosing a present.
At work
Dress code at work is an important component of success. Take care of a neat hairstyle, discreet classic style in clothes and tastefully selected jewelry. Business etiquette provides for the ability to listen to your opponent, leading the most constructive dialogue.
And, of course, try not to abuse phone calls in work time. Only negotiations on work topics are allowed - leave personal matters for the lunch break.
Publication date: 01/28/2018
Lately, there has been a lot of controversy on the topic - who should let whom and where forward - at the door, into the elevator, when going up and down the stairs. We present an article by our etiquette expert Nadezhda Kharlanova, a teacher at the etiquette school in Tyumen, about the rules that will help you quickly navigate these issues.
"There is no man sitting at standing woman"is one of the finest simple rules etiquette for men. And women for hundreds of years have been accustomed to male courtship within the framework of secular etiquette, at least: they help to put on a coat, pull a chair, let them go forward, do not smoke without our permission ...
Where did such respect for the lady come from in modern etiquette? Historically, it was born in the Middle Ages and was part of. The knight is obliged to show courage, honesty, generosity, generosity, hospitality and courtesy. He had to choose a lady for himself in order to worship her, perform feats for her sake and sing of her beauty.
Serving a lady has become the canon of behavior for men for many centuries to come. And this is very good, because every adequate man at least partially corresponds to these norms of nobility, which have not changed over so many centuries. Just like the relationship between women and men in its essence.
A lady is considered higher in status: a man is obliged to be the first to say hello, wait for the lady to extend her hand for a handshake, get up when she enters the room or approaches him, do not start eating at the table until the lady has started eating, etc.
Due to the fact that a woman is physically weaker, a man cares, helps and protects: he gives way in transport, and on the steps of the stairs - the side that with the railing helps to carry burdens, supports and protects.
At the same time, a lady can always delicately thank her partner for his nobility, generosity, at least with a nod of her head. And you can consider when meeting with a man, look great on dates, be sweet and charming, create a pleasant atmosphere, skillfully maintain a conversation.
But before considering modern rules for women, we will focus on very important principles etiquette - situationality and common sense.
This means that the same rules may vary depending on where and on what occasion we communicate. And in order to correctly build a line of behavior, we must immediately determine what kind of etiquette situation we are in: in a secular or business one.
So, a few secular etiquette situations.
How are a man and a woman located on the stairs during the descent and ascent?
When descending the stairs, the man's place is in front, when ascending - a couple of steps behind the lady, in a word, lower. This is necessary in order to always have time to help if she stumbles. At the same time, you need to adhere to right side. If a man and a woman walk in opposite directions and collide, the woman has the right to stay on the side with the railing, even if she violates the right-hand traffic rule. According to the rules of etiquette, the side with the railing is for the elderly and children.
On the street….
In almost any situation where people go one after another (both outdoors and indoors), the man lets the woman go first. He can go ahead only in those cases when his help is needed - for example, getting out of the transport and giving a hand, making his way through the crowd, overcoming an obstacle, entering the "danger zone". According to the status of a big and strong defender, a man is the first to go to all “danger zones”.
A man, accompanying a lady, usually walks from the outer, more dangerous side of the sidewalk. In addition, the custom to go to the left of the lady has survived to this day - since a hundred years ago, many men wore a sword on their left side. For the same reason, wanting to walk arm in arm with a lady, a man offers her his right hand.
Having met a woman in a narrow passage or at the door, a man must give way. He takes a step to the side (usually to the right) and lets her pass, turning to face her.
Elevator - who gets in first?
If we consider the elevator as a "danger zone", then the duty of a man is to enter first and make sure that everything is safe and there is no danger. If these are some special large and beautiful elevators, possibly with the use of personnel, then the lady can enter quite calmly, because everything is checked. So, the man enters first but not everyone knows about it. In the case when a man lets a woman through, having different information about the rules, wanting to show respect, the woman thanks and boldly enters the elevator. If several people have gathered waiting for the elevator, those who are closer to the door enter first, trying to get into the elevator in accordance with the number of floors.
About doors...
It is often believed that a man should let a lady through the door. But here, too, there are nuances. How to do it correctly and elegantly, and what is the woman's reaction?
The most important thing to consider here is the situational factor. Behave naturally and use common sense!
A man should enter first if he does not know if there is some kind of “danger zone” inside: it is possible that it is dark there and it will be necessary to turn on the light, or there is another heavy door on the way. If a man knows in advance that it is clean, bright and joyful, then he can open the door and let the lady go ahead.
When entering and leaving the door, a woman and a man interact almost like in a dance:
- If you come to the door first, then open the door and hold it for the lady.
- If you approach the door at the same time as your lady, or when she comes up first, then it makes sense for her to step to the side so that the satellite can open it freely without hitting anything.
- If the woman opened the door herself, hold the door open.
- If there are double doors with a vestibule on the way, then first it is better to open the first door, let the lady enter the vestibule to the second door, then go in after the companion yourself. If the woman has stopped in the vestibule and is waiting for you, go to the second door and do the same.
- If the door opens away from you, and you know about it, then think in advance about the trajectory of your joint movement and try to go through the door first.
- If it so happened that the lady was at the door first and pushed it, then move a little to the side on which the door hinges, carefully stretch your hand over the woman’s head to hold the door and let the lady enter.
- If someone is walking behind you, then when you go through the door after the woman, hold the door so that the person walking behind you has time to put out his hand and hold the door for himself. But this is provided that the person goes right behind you. If he is a few steps away from you, then there is no need to hold the door.
- In a situation with a revolving automatic door, it makes sense to reach out to slow down the rotation and let the woman pass quietly. In the usual automatic door, just skip the lady forward and then go through yourself.
The restaurant…
It is considered good form if the man who invited comes a little earlier. If a man is late, he must call and warn the head waiter. A woman enters a restaurant alone and introduces herself as her guest. If the lady and the gentleman met before entering the restaurant, the man lets the woman go ahead.
Taking off outerwear in the wardrobe, a man first helps his companion to undress. It is customary to dress in the same order, first the man gives the coat to the lady. A mirror in the wardrobe hangs in order to fix your hair, check your appearance in general. To tint lips and correct the outfit should be in the toilet room.
A man enters the restaurant hall first, followed by a woman. A man takes the first attention to himself. When a man and a woman go to their place, the man goes first, and the lady follows him. If you are escorted by the head waiter, he comes first, then a lady, then a man. On the way to the table, the man precedes the woman and helps her to sit down if the waiter does not.
A woman has the right to take the best place. The most honorable and comfortable are the places with their backs to the wall, facing the window or the entrance to the hall.
The man sits to the left of the lady or opposite her, if the table is only for two.
I hope that this article has brought enough specifics to the question - who lets whom and where when entering and leaving the premises. And you will no longer have confusion in any such situation.
And if you have any questions, you can ask them
Article author: etiquette expert Nadezhda Kharlanova. School of etiquette in Tyumen
website: www.etiket72.com, VKontakte: vk.com/etikettyumen, E-mail: [email protected]
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Every self-respecting girl should know the elementary rules of etiquette that will allow her to become a real lady and leave a lot of positive impressions after talking with her. By knowing how to behave, you will be able to win over those people whom you consider important in your life.
1. Greeting
Rule #1
You can greet in different ways: a kiss, a handshake or just kind words. The main thing is that the greeting should be “heard” only by the person to whom it is directly addressed, and not by everyone around. Therefore, avoid deliberately loud greetings, long hugs and hot kisses.
Rule #2
With a verbal greeting, the boys greet the girls first, while the girls first of all greet older people. If on the street, walking with a boyfriend, you met a girlfriend who walks her friend, then first you greet your girlfriend, then your young men - with each other, and only after that you should say “hello” to the boys.
Rule #3
A long pause at a meeting looks very awkward. Do not be afraid to say hello first and follow the aphorism in such situations: the first to say hello is the one who is better brought up.
2. Street etiquette
Walk
In ancient times, when men carried a sword on the left, a tradition developed: the young lady goes to the right of the knight. Then another rule appeared - a man should go where it is more dangerous (for example, from the side of the roadway). Modern etiquette says: a girl walks on the right in formal occasions, but in ordinary life in a way that is more convenient.
Snack on the street
Eating ice cream on the street is not a sin, only for this you need to step aside, it is even better to sit on a park bench. But to enter public transport with food, bitten hot dogs and open bottles - extremely indecent.
Rainy weather
If you open an umbrella, make sure that it does not hurt other people. According to etiquette in rainy weather, a young man holds an umbrella over a girl's head if they are the same height or slightly taller than her. If the difference in height is great, each carries his own umbrella. Or a young man goes without an umbrella. If you enter a room after rain, put a cover on your umbrella, try to keep the umbrella closer to you so as not to wet someone.
3. Clothing
The main requirement for clothing is its cleanliness. It’s not bad, of course, to make sure that the clothes correspond to the place, time, and nature of the event.
In case of doubt, it is always better to choose a slightly more conservative option. You can put yourself in order only at home or in the "room for girls." Combing your hair, brushing your nails, adjusting your clothes in public places, at the table, on the street is not beautiful. Just tint your lips.
4. We go to visit
You are visiting
Despite the fact that it is generally accepted that the “right” guests are always a little late, this is strictly prohibited by the rules of etiquette. After greeting guests, you should not arrange a thorough study of the cleanliness of the house. Girls with manners should not stare at everything.
Do not often look at the clock while visiting. If it is necessary to leave before the other guests begin to disperse, do it unnoticed by the rest, after apologizing to the hosts.
Reception
Think carefully beforehand. The main rule is that guests are invited to the table no later than half an hour after the start of the party, even if not everyone has gathered yet. Keep in mind that even in spite of severe bouts of hunger, it is impolite for the hostess to pounce on food and eat everything first. The guests must eat first.
5. Entertainment
Cinema
Being late is stupid, because if this happens, a well-mannered young lady will have to sit on the first empty seats that come across, even if you have the most expensive tickets in your pocket. As a reminder, please turn off your cell phone before entering the hall. It is also forbidden to laugh out loud, throw popcorn, rustle chocolate wrappers and discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the protagonist for the whole room.
Theatre
If you go to the theater with a friend, you can agree on the dress code (you in an elegant dress and a young man in jeans and a sweatshirt do not look very good).
You can enter the box when the lights are already out. In the parterre, amphitheater, mezzanine, you need to take your seats no later than the third call. If you are still late, then the young man goes first, and you follow with your back to the stage and facing those sitting, trying not to force them to rise.
Restaurant
A young man should always be the first to enter a restaurant, cafe and other similar establishments. Sitting at the table, he should hand you the menu and offer you to choose first. Then he looks at the menu himself and orders the waiter for both of you.
Start eating when the order is brought to everyone. Only if those waiting in the wings themselves offer you to start eating, you can start chewing before others.
Blowing on food, sniffing it, smacking it, and also laying out your elbows on the table is not welcome. The biggest mistake, worse than picking your teeth with a fork, is eating with a knife. A tablespoon is not sent to the mouth as a whole. To painlessly eat the remnants of the soup, you need to tilt the edge of the plate not towards yourself, but away from you. If you got into awkward situation, accidentally spilled or dropped something, do not rush to immediately correct your oversight. Wipe the tablecloth only with a napkin, while the crumbs do not brush off the floor, but collect them in a napkin. If pieces of food or drops accidentally fall on your clothes, remove them discreetly.
In a restaurant, many are confused by the abundance of appliances. Always start with the cutlery closest to the plate and use the closest cutlery for each subsequent dish. When the cutlery lies horizontally above the plate, they are for dessert. It's easier with glasses - the waiter himself pours where it's needed. Take them from right to left as they are only on one side of the table. It is not necessary to warm your hands on glasses, to tightly grasp a cup of coffee, tea with both hands, and it is customary to hold glasses of champagne and wine by the leg.
When finished eating, put the knife and fork in parallel. During the break, the knife and fork are placed crosswise. In cafes, a used tea bag is usually put aside on a saucer. And when stirring sugar with a spoon, do not touch the edges of the cup so that there is no sound.
The bill is usually paid by the person who invited. The waiter will bring the bill to the person who ordered. If you pay by celebrating, for example, a holiday with friends, there is no need to demonstrate how much was spent on them. When invited, avoid two extremes: ordering the most expensive dishes and being overly modest.
6. In the car
When you get into a car, you don’t have to “enter” it first with one and then with the other foot. It will be much more convenient, slightly crouching on the seat, to “pull in” your legs. Leaving the car, both feet must be placed on the asphalt at the same time.
7. Ugly gestures
Try to swing your arms less while walking, fussily fix something in your clothes or hair, often pull up your sleeves to look at your watch, constantly take something out of bags and pockets and put it back.
8. You are in the stadium
So, he succeeded. I mean drag you to a football match. Of course, it is your direct duty to cheer on your favorite team or player, but it’s not worth it to scream heart-rendingly, shout insults at the playing teams and any of the fans (from a squabble to a brawl). If possible, do not jump up from your seat during the critical moments of the game, so as not to interfere with those who are sitting behind. Each game, competition is a kind of art, and real connoisseurs gather to watch them. Are you one of them?
9. Shopping
The seller is the face of the store. Say hello when entering a small shop (this is not necessary in a supermarket).
If you plan to become a regular customer of a small shop, such as a bakery in your home, it is appropriate to get acquainted. Be friendly, but not pushy. It would be good to outline in advance what and how much you need (with a large list, it is best to make a list), so as not to take time from other buyers and the seller. You can only address the seller as "you", regardless of her or his age. The appeal “girl” to an elderly woman seller looks ridiculous and tactless (they can be regarded as a mockery, didn’t you mean that?). You don't have to shop just because you went to the store, you don't have to feel embarrassed if nothing you tried on didn't fit. But still, you shouldn’t spend hours trying on, chasing the seller back and forth and forcing you to bring one thing or another, no matter how “cool” it may be. Refusing to purchase, say "thank you" to the seller for your attention.
